When it’s too tough to relate…
… and the difficult times in your relationship seem to be bringing things to an end, reaching out for professional support is perfectly natural for a lot of couples.
If you would both like to relate with each other better, it could be time to arrange to meet with Dean Richardson MBACP(accred) ~ experienced couple counsellor for relationships in trouble ~ Southsea, Hampshire.
Dean has been a practising as a counsellor since 1999 and works with adult couples who are having major (or mild) difficulties relating together (intimate, platonic or other).
Plus, unlike GP or charitable counselling services, when you meet with a private counsellor such as Dean Richardson in Southsea, there’s often no waiting list.
You could begin relationship counselling within a week.
Six Signs of a Relationship in Trouble.
- You don’t do stuff together (go on dates, spend time in each others company).
- You fight a lot (sometimes for no obvious reason).
- Trust has been lost (perhaps through an affair, or other ill-prepared behaviour).
- Your sex-life isn’t what it used to be (or sex is out of the question).
- One of you is trying to change the other (and the other is resisting).
- There’s an undercurrent of jealous, or “needy” behaviour.
If you can identify with two or more of these items, make an appointment to meet with Dean Richardson.
Breaking up is Hard to Do.
It’s a common misunderstanding that Relationship Counsellors make couples stay together.
Actually… no they don’t!
As a relationship counsellor, Dean Richardson works with the couple to decide what they both want from couple counselling.
This might mean assisting with breaking-up the relationship, or assisting with repairing it.
Surprisingly, the couple do not have to know how they’ll achieve what they want to change.. It’s natural for a couple think that they’ve exhausted all avenues to resolve their conflicts. Yet, an experienced couple counsellor, such as Dean Richardson, has skills to help the couple work through problems using remarkably simple yet effective techniques. The couple will develop their own new ways to address the problems their relationship created.
What Makes Dean Richardson’s Approach Distinct.
- Dean's primary client is the couple's relationship (not the two individuals in the relationship). Inexperienced counsellors - or those untrained in relationship work - miss this important aspect when trying to work with a couple.
- Dean's primary aim is to become redundant: the couple can end their counselling work without thinking that they've become dependant on a counsellor; nor feeling they will have to come back for 'top up' sessions in the future.
- The couple stay only for as long as it's helping: meaning they might come to counselling for just a handful of sessions, or may choose to stay longer, until the couple can work on their relationship's needs on their own (again). Dean does not set a compulsory minimum (or maximum) period.
- The couple work with just the one therapist: and Dean practices "neutrality" which means both members of the couple will be understood by a single therapist (no risk of multiple interpretations by multiple therapists in the room). Plus… the common factors that are underlying the couple's relationship problems can be understood and communicated back to them by a single couple counsellor as a single, consistent, understandable whole.
- Dean does not solve the couple's current relationship problems. Dean is not a "Relationship Expert", doesn't promote his services as being so, and doesn't claim to have solutions and answers for the couple. Instead, Dean focuses on assisting the couple to learn and understand their own problems so that they can address and resolve matters using their own solutions.
- The couple develop their own unique approach that can be helpful for years to come. Looking at the relationship's problems as if they are a symptom of a system that has become faulty (say, like a washing machine that works until it comes time to rinse). Understanding… and then amending… the relationship's behavioural-system can help the couple understand what's at the centre of their problems. With understanding, the couple can learn to manage & resolve not only current problems… but future ones too… for themselves.
- Dean involves & immerses the couple in the counselling, rather than operating as a pseudo-advice-giving consultant with-all-the-answers.
- Dean's couple counselling approach integrates effective systemic and psychodynamic approaches. Rather than using whatever is the latest fad in therapy, Dean successfully applies methods that have been tried and tested for a long time (30+ years: systemic, 100+ years: psychodynamic). This helps the couple (through curiosity, hypothesising & modelling) learn what's happening in their relationship and then helps them develop their own 'fault' resolving strategies.
- Unlike some couple therapists who respond to questions with 'answers' (whether such generic answers can actually apply to the couple's specific relationship), Dean empowers the couple into being able to answer their own questions by understanding & resolving their own relationship-conflicts. This helps the couple become independent of the counsellor.
- Boundaries are important: the session is contained within 50 (or 90, optional) minutes, weekly, in a safe room, with the same counsellor. For example, the couple always knows that they can open up (difficult) topics but not fear getting swept up into long arguments… because the session's end time is set.
- Future "top-up" sessions become unnecessary: the couple ends counselling when they don't need the counsellor any longer. Dean doesn't "fix" the relationship for the couple, he assists the couple in learning how to fix their own relationship problems together. Added bonus: the couple uses the same techniques to manage future difficulties. Once the couple feel that they are more capable at addressing their relationship problems together, they can begin to bring couple counselling to a close without having to come back for "top-up" sessions (as if they'd somehow run out!).
Interested in Improving how you Relate with Each Other?
If both you and your partner would like to:
- Improve how you relate with each other.
- Learn what’s at the root of the relationship conflicts.
- See what it’s like to take part in relationship counselling.