Why meet with a Counsellor (Skype & Portsmouth Hampshire)

"Rodrigo - Early morning shoot" © Esther Gibbons

Knowing how many sessions we had agreed up front really helped me focus.

What is Counselling?
How long will Counselling take?
Introducing Dean Richardson MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg.
Are Dean Richardson’s Counselling Models for You?
Psychodynamic Counselling.
Systemic Counselling.
Analytic/Facilitative-based Support Groups.
Unsure if Dean’s Counselling Approach is Suitable for You?

Think of your last really good conversation. Not only were you able to get some really important stuff off your chest, but your conversation-partner was helpful in making it easier for you to talk by being engaged with what you had to say. Maybe also think about those conversations where your conversation-partner told you of some stuff about yourself that you really didn’t want to hear, but later on you realised it was very helpful (though maybe it might have been put better!).

Now, if you can think of a subject about which you cannot talk to anyone who knows you, then the support you previously found valuable is lost.

Everybody has secrets they’d rather the world didn’t know, and when you need a professional partner who you can talk well with, respects your confidentiality and does this kind of thing professionally, then maybe there’s still help at hand.

These are just a few reasons why you would choose counselling.

What is Counselling?

You don’t have to be mentally ill, you’re not insane, and you’re not lacking in some way to consider starting work with a counsellor. In fact, counselling and psychotherapy work best with the mentally well (albeit, perhaps, emotionally wounded).

The British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy says that

[counselling & psychotherapy] are delivered by trained practitioners who work with people over a short or long term to help them bring about effective change or enhance their well-being” (link)

Yet, even with such a positive statement as above, some people think that counselling as an embarrassing thing. They believe that one only goes to a counsellor when they can’t cope with things themselves; and that’s shameful, right? Well, to some people it can feel that way, yet in my practice I find that many of my first-time clients are pleasantly surprised to experience just how straightforward and useful counselling can be.

The BACP goes on to say:-

Therapy is time set aside by you and the therapist to look at what has brought you to therapy. This might include talking about life events, (past and present), feelings, emotions, relationships, ways of thinking and patterns of behaviour. The therapist will do their best to help you to look at your issues, and to identify the right course of action for you, either to help you resolve your difficulties or help you find ways of coping. Talking about these things may take time, and will not necessarily all be included in one session.
(c) British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, 2011 (link)

So, counselling is time dedicated to you to discuss something that’s weighing on your mind, with a view to sort this out with a professional who’s there to assist you.

How long will Counselling take?

Counselling with Dean Richardson is a voluntarily-attended therapeutic service.

This means that you come due to your own conscious choice, and you leave when you are ready.

I’ve written more about this in details in my post: How Long does Counselling Take?

Introducing Dean Richardson MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg.

Dean Richardson is an experienced, qualified, helpful and professionally ethical counsellor who provides individual and couple counselling in Portsmouth and Southsea, Hampshire. He offers counselling face-to-face in his private practice on the Portsmouth and Southsea coast – and online via the Internet (Skype Video and Correspondence).

Dean is a male counsellor who specialises in couples and individuals counselling as well as having a special interest in offering therapies to LGBT couples and individuals.

I help people in their quest to transform their lives. Sometimes, it’s just a small change, but still is an important one that a person needs. Other times, major changes are achieved and lives are transformed by finally being able to let go of something that’s been hanging around for too long. Whatever the change, how long – or how little – it takes, we can achieve it together.
Dean Richardson, 2009.

(For more information about Dean, including an explanation of his qualifications, read Dean Richardson’s biography page).

Are Dean Richardson’s Counselling Models for You?

Dean’s core model of therapy is psychodynamic (individuals) and systemic/psychodynamic (couples), integrating aspects of other therapies (CBT, Gestalt) as appropriate under the BACP’s Ethical Framework. This, perhaps, doesn’t have to mean anything to you – as many people try working with Dean for a single session to decide if his therapy is right for them. For others, understanding Dean’s therapy models helps …

Psychodynamic Counselling.

"Signumd Freud" © Mansionwb

Psychodynamic counselling differs from other forms of therapy in that it does not seek to give you solutions and strategies that if you were to follow you would be “cured”. Instead, psychodynamic counselling develops and understanding how how you came to be in the current situation. With such understanding, current problems can appear less invasive (and, as one client put it, “appear to to melt away”).

At the root of our inability to manage difficult problems are experiences from our past that may keep nagging away at us. Whether they’re in our conscious memories (unresolved stuff we can remember from long ago) or in our unconscious minds (stuff we’ve chosen to forget, but a part of our mind may still be holding onto the memories for us), past experiences remind us that because we couldn’t manage certain situations long, long, long time ago then we won’t be able to manage them today.

Poor experiences from our formative years as a child and traumatic experiences as an individual contribute to a kind of flaw of in brick-wall-of-a-psyche. The wall will hold up well usually, but when pressure is put on the vulnerable parts of our wall the cracks from long ago fail to hold up to the pressures … and we, as humans, find we struggle to manage those difficult problems in the present day. Psychodynamic-based therapy seeks to understand (in as safe and contained/held way as possible) the problems created in the past, working with them now, to resolve them now, repairing the “flawed brick” in the wall of the psyche.

Systemic Counselling.

"Ishikawa diagram" © Visual Punch

Switch on your washing machine and press the “cottons” wash and your machine will go through a cycle of instructions from beginning to end … even if what’s inside the machine is your most expensive and delicate wear.

In relationships, we can find ourselves or our partners behaving in unsatisfactory patterns that upset the relationship. Using systemic therapy for couple counselling, we work to understand the reasons of the patterns of behaviour – to help the couple break free of the patterns – and with curiosity, supposing, wondering, creativity and inspiration the couple can begin to replace old behaviours with new ones; helping the relationship feel better.

Couples therapy with Dean Richardson combines systemic and psychodynamic therapy models. Both partners bring issues from their past into the relationships. The relationship may develop “shared unconscious anxieties” as a result of both partners protecting their vulnerabilities (their shared “flawed bricks”, from the example above) resulting in seemingly-unexplainable relationship behaviours. Couple counselling with Dean Richardson attempts to help the couple to address these factors in ways that the couple elect themselves.

Analytic/Facilitative-based Support Groups.

Based on group analysis and group-facilitation principals, being a member of a small support group conducted by Dean Richardson means that you get the opportunity to work within a group of up around 6-10 group members (eg 4-8 other people, the conductor, and you). Individual group members are strangers to each other, and have no contact with each other outside of the group. Such a group can be supportive and helpful to members, and it’s perfectly understandable that members will be anxious before joining the group (whether already established or brand new). The “conductor” is a therapist, but who is also a member of the group. S/he is responsible for the dynamic administration of the group (its creation, its running, its safety) and is responsible for conducting the group’s therapy – although not for leading the group towards particular therapeutic tasks.

Sometimes therapeutic group work offers empathy & support to a group member. Sometimes the therapeutic work a person needs is achieved by hearing about a “non-problem” (ie group members discussing issues where a person’s particular problem factors very little, or even not at all) – which can be a revelation for a person to hear.

Whether a open group (no time limits on membership, members join and leave at different times), or a closed group (the group begins with all members joined, and ends after a set amount of time or a therapeutic task has been addressed), group therapy can be a powerful, community-type of therapeutic support and challenge.

Unsure if Dean’s Counselling Approach is Suitable for You?

Arrange an initial appointment with Dean to have a friendly, informative chat about what you need from counselling, and what therapies Dean can offer you. Dean works within the BACP’s Ethical Framework which means he is under strict guidelines to treat you fairly and ethically, will cause you no harm, will treat you with respect, and, if he cannot help you, will talk with you openly about other options available to you.

Trust in your knowledge of Dean, and your instincts about how you feel working with him when you’re in the room with him (this would apply to any therapist you may be considering).

The Million Dollar Private Practice: Using Your Expertise to Build a Practice That Makes a Difference