<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> <rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" ><channel><title>iCounsellor.co.uk - Portsmouth&#039;s Professional Private Therapist (Individuals, Couples, LGBT) &#187; Portsmouth Counselling</title> <atom:link href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/articles/tag/portsmouth-counselling/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk</link> <description>Dean Richardson, MBACP(accred), UKRCP Reg.</description> <lastBuildDate>Sun, 20 May 2012 19:34:38 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en</language> <sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency> <generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2</generator> <atom:link rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com"/><atom:link rel="hub" href="http://superfeedr.com/hubbub"/> <item><title>About Dean Richardson</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 04 Sep 2011 16:22:52 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/?page_id=2802</guid> <description><![CDATA[<span class='FeatureSentance'>Dean Richardson MBACP(accred) UKRCP Reg.</span> is an experienced, fully qualified, friendly, ethical and insightful Hampshire counsellor/psychotherapist who will work with you in his private practice in [permalink href='2805']Southsea (Hampshire)[/permalink] and [permalink href='2950']Skype video[/permalink]. Dean is a <b>[iCDecision func="IsGay"]gay[/iCDecision] male counsellor</b> [iCDecision func="IsGay"]<b>who specialises in offering LGBT therapies</b> to same-gender (or mixed-sexuality) couples, gay individuals and groups.[/iCDecision] [iCDecision func="IsGay" not=1]<b>who specialises in working with couples, individuals and groups</b>.[/iCDecision]  He's quite human too - joining in at times of laughter ( it's real therapy - it happens ;) ) as well as listening empathically to the worst people want to talk about. Your choice of therapy is important - decide today if Dean Richardson could be your therapist [iCDecision func="IsGay"]for private LGBT counselling...[/iCDecision] [iCDecision func="IsGay" not=1]for private counselling...[/iCDecision] ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>Our business was in trouble because of the directors' working relationship. We dealt with our problems.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div><h2>Dean Richardson &#8211; Therapeutic Counsellor.</h2><p><a href="https://plus.google.com/110150638309720611503?rel=author" rel="me" target="_blank">+Dean Richardson</a></p><p><em>Someone who can ask the questions … </em><br /> <em>      … that no-one else in your life will ask.</em></p><p><strong></strong><strong>Dean Richardson</strong> <strong> Dip. Psych. Couns., PG Dip. Couple Couns.,</strong> <strong>MBACP (Accred), UKRCP Reg.</strong> (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/#Explanation_of_Qualifications" title="About Dean Richardson" rel="bookmark">explanation of abbreviations</a>) is an experienced, qualified, helpful and professionally ethical  counsellor who provides therapies for individual, couples and groups .</p><table style="clear: left;" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td width="140"><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5383' style=''><div class='et-box et-iCBox' ><div class='et-box-content' ><div><img style="position: relative; top: 5px;" src="/files/2012/01/foursquare1.png" alt="Dean Richardson on Foursquare" width="20" /> <a href="https://foursquare.com/v/dean-richardson-specialist-counselling/4ec8e6ab754a92231fff970d" target="_blank">Foursquare</a></div><div><img style="position: relative; top: 5px;" src="http://www.google.com/images/icons/ui/gprofile_button-32.png" alt="Dean Richardson on Google+" width="20" height="20" /> <a href="https://plus.google.com/110150638309720611503?rel=author" rel="me" target="_blank">Google+</a></div><div><img style="position: relative; top: 5px;" src="/wp-content/themes/iCounsellorv6/images/socialmedia/facebook.png" alt="Dean Richardson on Facebook" width="20" /> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iCounsellor.co.uk" target="_blank">Facebook</a></div><div><img style="position: relative; top: 5px;" src="/wp-content/themes/iCounsellorv6/images/socialmedia/twitter.png" alt="Dean Richardson on Twitter" width="20" /> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/iCounsellor" target="_blank">Twitter</a></div><div><img style="position: relative; top: 5px;" src="/files/2012/01/pen.png" alt="Counselling Articles written by Dean Richardson" width="20" /> <a href="/articles/author/deanrichardson/">Articles</a></div></div></div></span></td><td width="20"></td><td>Dean has been practising since 1999. He is a <a title="British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk" target="_blank">British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy</a>(BACP) Accredited counsellor/psychotherapist offering private therapy in <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/" title="Counselling Locations" rel="bookmark">Portsmouth &amp; Southsea, Hampshire</a>, and via <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/" title="Choose Skype Counselling" rel="bookmark">Skype</a> video conference.Dean is also <span style='display:none;'>a gay male counsellor specialising in <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/" title="Choose LGBT Counselling" rel="bookmark">LGBT therapies</a> particularly helpful for gay, lesbian bi and trans couples, individuals and groups.</span>a male counsellor.</td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="margin-top: 16pt;">How Dean Richardson is Distinct from other Therapists.</h2><p>In counselling, Dean use no magic and no clever-sounding mind-techniques (such as NLP or hypnotic language).  To some beginning counselling for the first time, it can seem like you and Dean are just talking/being social; but it&#8217;s a very special and effective kind of conversation that has helped people to rid themselves of burden, and to transform their lives.</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Dean uses what looks like social-conversation as his main basis of therapy &#8211; paying attention to much more than just what is said verbally/the words &#8211; using psychodynamic analysis, counter-transference interpretation, human psychology and basic therapeutic skills to maintain/increase empathy in order that the relationship between client and therapist can be used to improve a client&#8217;s life.</li><li>Dean does not use art, nor drawings, playing roles or acting. He doesn&#8217;t use drawing-in-sand or puppets.</li><li>Dean doesn&#8217;t tell you what he thinks you aught to be doing to resolve your problems. He doesn&#8217;t prescribe courses of action that if you follow to the letter you will be &#8220;cured&#8221;.  Instead, although it may seem unlikely to you, the resolutions to your distresses are within you; you and Dean will work together to help you discover them.</li><li><h3 style="display: inline; font-size: 10pt;">Dean&#8217;s Individual Counselling Service</h3><p style="display: inline;"> is primarily psychodynamic-based, but not scarily analytic (as some might imagine Sigmund Freud to have been); unresolved issues from our histories can have an ongoing detrimental effect on our present-day lives.  With careful consideration on integrating appropriate skills from other therapy models (eg CBT/Cognitive Behavioural Approach, Gestalt, Person Centred), Dean can help you work through past issues so that your life can become released from past burden and can move on into the future.  We communicate with people in many ways other than just verbal.  This can leave us wondering why we&#8217;re stuck in unhappy certain social patterns (&#8220;no-one ever seems to like me&#8221;, &#8220;I always end up in the same kind of relationship&#8221;).  Using what&#8217;s called the &#8220;counter-transference&#8221;, Dean will help you learn about yourself &#8211; with consideration and respect &#8211; in ways that can help you begin to understand why certain people may be relating to you in ways that you don&#8217;t understand.  With new knowledge, you can choose (or not!) to make conscious changes that will improve unhappy patterns in your life.</p></li><li><h3 style="display: inline; font-size: 10pt;">Dean&#8217;s Couple Counselling Service</h3><p style="display: inline;"> is primarily systemic plus psychodynamic; patterns of behaviour are set up in a relationship to avoid pain and anxiety, sometimes this is helpful and the relationship manages, sometimes this is not helpful and the relationship suffers.  Working through matters by perturbing the unsatisfactory patterns of behaviour can release a relationship into working through the shared anxieties, and can help the couple bond again.  Similarly, couples who wish to separate, but are struggling to do so, can find working with Dean helps them find mutually-agreeable ways to separate from the relationship; couple counselling is not just about keeping a couple together.  Couple counselling is a robust process &#8211; couples in conflict may tend towards arguing and bring out the worst in each other &#8211; all this is useful in helping the couple work through the bad stuff &#8230; to help them find the good stuff &#8230; and to manage the bad stuff better when the bad stuff comes up again &#8230; thus making myself redundant as soon as the couple don&#8217;t need my services any longer.</p></li><li><h3 style="display: inline; font-size: 10pt;">Dean&#8217;s <em>Skype</em> Couple Counselling Service</h3><p style="display: inline;"> is suitable for relationships (same country and different countries) where the partners are unable to meet with each other physically (remote / long-distance relationships) and whose relationship is in trouble.  It is also suitable for couples who are local to each other (same town or same house!) who wish to work with Dean but who are unable to travel to Portsmouth on a regular basis.  Using <strong>Skype Video</strong> as our communication medium, couples can meet regularly with a qualified and experienced couple counsellor to help them shift the conflicts that are getting in the way.  Our initial goal is to identify the conflicts (sometimes not as obvious as they first appear) and then our primary goal becomes assisting the couple in their creativity to  address, perturb and work through (or around) the matters that are getting in the way of their happy-enough relationship. It can also be helpful to address what is getting in the way of the couple&#8217;s usual way of resolving conflicts &#8230; and to address why that process isn&#8217;t working for these particular needing-to-get-a-counsellor-involved conflicts. It is my intention to help the couple be able to resolve their own issues again &#8211; intentionally making myself redundant. Skype Video works best with each partner using their own computer/Smartphone &#8211; but can also work if a couple can bare to sit close enough to fit into the view-finder of one camera.</p></li><li><h3 style="display: inline; font-size: 10pt;">Dean&#8217;s Group Support Therapy</h3><p style="display: inline;"> is based in the group analytic model and uses helpful group-facilitative techniques.  Unlike some group leaders that tell group members what to do, Dean supports the group into leading itself.  The group <em>includes</em> Dean as the group conductor rather than the group being lead by him.  In this way the group, together, finds its own was through difficult matters and individuals within the group can find support from the whole group matrix.</p></li><li><h3 style="display: inline; font-size: 10pt;">Dean&#8217;s Speciality</h3><p style="display: inline;"> is a focus on sexuality and gender identification, working with lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people (LGBT) in personal therapy, couple relationships and groups (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/" title="LGBT Counselling Specialist" rel="bookmark">read more&#8230;</a>). Whilst this is an area in which Dean specialises, he is also qualified to work with a forms of people for counselling, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, abilities within his qualifications to practice.</p></li></ul></div><p>&nbsp;</p><h2>Why choose Dean Richardson as your counsellor?</h2><p>Some points that describe Dean Richardson within his therapeutic work would include:-<div class='et-custom-list'><div class='one_half'><ul><li>Caters for a wide-range of counselling problems &#8211; regardless of race, sexuality, religion or class.</li><li>Maturity, experience, sensitivity, intuitiveness and empathy.</li><li>Professional Qualifications including a wide-range of therapeutic approaches.</li><li>Has appropriate professional civil-liability/indemnity insurance.</li></ul></div><div class='one_half last'><ul><li>Clinically Supervised to at-least the minimum BACP guidelines of 90 min/month.</li><li>Undertakes at least a minimum of 30 hours Continual professional development (CPD) training annually (often twice this).</li><li><a title="BACP Accreditation" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/accreditation/" target="_blank">Accredited</a> by the British Association for Counselling &amp; Psychotherapy.</li><li>CRB checked &amp; cleared.</li></ul></div><div class='clear'></div></div></p><h3>Own Private Practice (Portsmouth &amp; Skype).</h3><p>Unlike some therapy service centres which present therapy services for selection, but their intention is to refer you to third-party therapists, by choosing Dean Richardson you get to work with &#8230; Dean Richardson himself.</p><p>All the information on this website is written by, or about, Dean Richardson.  <em>If this website discusses a particular counselling service offered by Dean Richardson, then it&#8217;s Dean Richardson who you will be working with if you decide to take up that counselling service.</em></p><p>You can trust that when you decide to work with with Dean, it&#8217;s Dean who will be working with you.</p><h3>Ethics.</h3><p>Dean Richardson follows the British Association for Counselling &amp; Psychotherapy (BACP)&#8217;s <a href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">Ethical Framework.</a></p><h3>Therapeutic Methodologies.</h3><p>Dean&#8217;s methodologies of therapies include the following:-<div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li><a title="Psychodynamic Counselling" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamic_psychotherapy" target="_blank">Psychodynamic</a>, <a title="SFBT Therapy" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solution_focused_brief_therapy" target="_blank">Solution Focused Brief Therapy</a> (SFBT) and <a title="Cognitive Behavioural Therapy" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy" target="_blank">Cognitive Behavioural (CBT) Approach</a> for individuals,</li><li>Integrated <a title="Systemic Couples/Family Therapy" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy" target="_blank">Systemic</a> &amp; <a title="Psychodynamic Counselling" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamic_psychotherapy" target="_blank">Psychodynamic</a> couple relationship counselling (integrating aspects from other models).</li><li><a title="Group Analysis" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_analysis" target="_blank">Group analytic</a> and facilitation-style principals for support groups.</li></ul></div> Dean is fully qualified, supervised &amp; experienced to practice as a counsellor the UK and assesses anyone for counselling regardless of presenting problem, age, gender, education, IQ, (dis-)abilities, relationship status, sexual orientation or gender identification &#8211; to mention a few. Dean specialises in working with LGBT individuals and couples including mixed-orientation couples.</p><h2>Dean Richardson&#8217;s Professional Qualifications, Training &amp; Membership.</h2><div class='et-tabs-container' id='et-tabs-container962'><ul class='et-tabs-control'><li><a href='#'> Qualifiations &amp; Primary Awards </a></li><li><a href='#'> Continuing Professional Development </a></li><li><a href='#'> Professional Memberships </a></li></ul><div class='et-tabs-content'><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Qualifications &amp; Primary Awards.</h3><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/3859193105_ba2bbc46351-128230_100x100.jpg' alt='Level 36 Bureaucrat' title='Level 36 Bureaucrat' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"Level 36 Bureaucrat" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/pyxopotamus/' target='_blank'>me and the sysop</a></div></div> These are the foundations upon which I practice counselling/psychotherapy/group therapy.</p><div style="margin-left: 100px;"><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li><strong>Diploma in Individual&#8217;s Counselling (Psychodynamic)</strong> (2003 &#8211; Chichester Counselling Services &#8211; BACP Accredited training course).</li><li><strong>Post Graduate Diploma in Systemic &amp; Psychodynamic Couples Counselling</strong> (2009 &#8211; Chichester Counselling Services).</li><li><strong>National Foundation in Group Psychotherapy </strong>(2011 &#8211; IGA/GASE Brighton).</li><li><strong>Business Coaching &amp; Mentoring Individuals </strong>(1998 – IBM North Harbour, Portsmouth).<strong></strong></li><li><strong>Group (Business) Meeting Facilitator </strong>(1997 – IBM North Harbour, Portsmouth).</li></ul></div></div><h4 style="margin-top: 12pt; clear: left;"><a name="Explanation_of_Qualifications"></a>Explanation of Dean Richardson&#8217;s Qualifications.</h4><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>MBACP </strong>: Member of the <a href="http://www.bacp.co.uk" target="_blank">British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy</a>. This membership indicates that I subscribe to the BACP&#8217;s <a title="BACP Ethical Framework" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">Ethical Framework</a>. I am listed on the BACP&#8217;s &#8220;<a title="Dean Richardson - BACP Directory" href="http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/therapists/in/aad5b1/" target="_blank">It&#8217;s Good to Talk</a>&#8221; directory.</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>(Accred)</strong> stands for &#8220;accreditation&#8221;; achieving BACP accreditation is an official and professionally-recognised way to authenticate a therapist&#8217;s substantial level of training, practical experience and continued professional development.  The accreditation is reviewed annually with 10% of therapists audited each year.</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>UKRCP Reg.</strong> : Registered on the <strong>United Kingdom Register of Counsellors &amp; Psychotherapists </strong><a title="UKRCP Reg." href="http://www.ukrconline.org.uk/" target="_blank">http://www.ukrconline.org.uk/</a></p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Dip. Psych. Couns</strong>. : Diploma in psychodynamic counselling (Chichester) &#8211; observes the psychodynamic model for counselling.  This was a three year, BACP-accredited, training diploma requiring a minimum of 100 hours supervised individuals practice plus academic submissions to achieve the qualification</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>PG Dip. Couples Couns.</strong> : Diploma in couples counselling (Chichester) following an integrated systemic model, psychodynamic model and appropriate techniques from other models such as CBT &amp; Gestalt. This was a fifteen month (2 days a week) training diploma requiring a minimum of 100 hours supervised couples practice plus academic submissions to qualify.</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>National Foundation in Group Psychotherapy</strong> : Certificate in attending course run by Institute of Group Analysis (IGA) via Group Analysis South East (GASE). 37.5 hours theory, 45 hours experiential group.</p><p>In short, certificates generally require a minimum attendance to the training, whilst diplomas also require a minimum number of hours of supervised practice.</p></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Continuing Professional Development (highlights).</h3><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/245744537_9b2401b807_z1-66945_100x100.jpg' alt='Smile!' title='Smile!' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"Smile" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/sean-b/' target='_blank'>SeanBJack</a></div></div><p><strong>CPD:</strong>Continued Professional Development is a requirement of being a member of my professional body, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.  Each year I undertake 30 hours minimum of CPD. This allows me to keep in touch with the latest thinking around therapies, allows me to keep my practice current and modern, and allows me to expand my practice thinking by taking training that stretches my skills and professional abilities.<div class='et-custom-list'><ul style="clear: left;"><li><strong>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy</strong> &#8220;CBT With Heart&#8221; (2011-12 <a title="Hemmings Field Associates" href="http://www.hemfipsych.com/" target="_blank">Hemmings Field Associates</a>).</li><li><strong>&#8220;Safeguarding Children and Vulnerable Adults&#8221;</strong> (2012 &#8211; Gerry Williams / <a title="The Marple Crosss Centre" href="http://www.marplecrosscentre.co.uk" target="_blank">Marple Cross Centre</a>).</li><li><strong>&#8220;Stopping Self Harm&#8221;</strong> (2011 &#8211; Veronica (Ronnie) Freeman, chartered counselling psychologist). <strong></strong></li><li><strong>National Foundation in Group Psychotherapy</strong>, <a href="http://www.groupanalysis.org/" target="_blank">Institute of Group Analysis</a> (2010-11 <a href="http://www.groupanalysis.org/site/cms/contentviewarticle.asp?article=1790" target="_blank">GASE</a> &#8211; Brighton).</li><li><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s not me, it&#8217;s my OCD&#8221;</strong>, (2010 &#8211; Tim Branson, <a title="The Marple Crosss Centre" href="http://www.marplecrosscentre.co.uk" target="_blank">Marple Cross Centre</a>).</li><li><strong>Introduction to Domestic Abuse</strong> (2009 &#8211; <a title="WSCC Harm Reduction Team" href="http://www.westsussex.gov.uk/living/being_safe_and_secure/personal_safety/harm_reduction_training_progra.aspx" target="_blank">WSCC Harm Reduction team</a>) <strong></strong></li><li><strong>Online Counselling</strong> (2006-07 &#8211; <a href="http://www.OnlineCounsellors.co.uk" target="_blank">OnlineCounsellors.co.uk</a> &#8211; Kate Anthony BSc, MSc, MBACP).</li><li><strong>Assessing Clients for Psychodynamic Counselling</strong> (2006 &#8211; Eva Stolte <em></em>- Chichester Counselling Services).</li><li><strong>Brief/focal psychodynamic psychotherapy</strong> (2004 (Penny Rawson) &amp; 2009 (Joan Foster/Jan Irwin) &#8211; Chichester Counselling Services).</li><li><strong>Solution Focussed Brief Therapy</strong> <strong>&#8220;SFBT&#8221;</strong> (2005).</li><li><strong>Psychosexual identification of male impotence</strong> (2002).</li></ul></div></p></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Professional Memberships.</h3><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/4700395388_ff8ab009a4_z1-289894_100x100.jpg' alt='4700395388_ff8ab009a4_z[1]' title='4700395388_ff8ab009a4_z[1]' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>'Crop Circle' &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/dollarside/' target='_blank'>.thana/Flickr</a></div></div><div style="margin-left: 100px;"><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li><a>Accredited Member of the British Association for Counselling &amp; Psychotherapy </a>- MBACP (Accred) Counsellor / Psychotherapist [<a title="Dean Richardson - BACP Directory" href="http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/therapists/in/aad5b1/hampshire/portsmouth/dean-richardson" target="_blank">directory entry</a>]</li><li>UKRCP Registered Independent Counsellor / Psychotherapist.</li><li>Wessex Psychotherapy Society.</li><li>Chichester Counselling Services.</li><li>Counselling Directory [<a title="Counselling Directory Entry" href="http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor_22069.html" target="_blank">entry here</a>].</li></ul></div></div></div></div></div> <script type='text/javascript'>function iCETShortcodesSwitcher(){jQuery('#et-tabs-container962 .et-tabs-content').et_shortcodes_switcher({slidePadding:'20px 25px 8px',linksNav:'#et-tabs-container962 .et-tabs-control li a',findParent:true,fx:'fade',auto:false,autoSpeed:'5000'});}
iCLoadList.push(iCETShortcodesSwitcher);</script><h2 style="margin-top: 20px;">Professional Counselling Specialities.</h2><p style="margin: 0;"><br /></p><blockquote><p>As a professional therapist I have particular areas of interest in working with couple relationships; not just intimate/marriage relationships, but also couple relationships made of people who are <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not</span> necessarily in an intimate relationship (eg business partners, family members, friends, flat-mates).  This does not detract from my professional standards in offering general practice individual &amp; couples counselling and support groups.</p></blockquote><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>Dean Richardson, October 2011.</strong></div><p></p><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Choose Brief-Focal Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/brief_focal_counselling/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/brief_focal_counselling/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 27 Feb 2011 15:00:33 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Assessment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Brief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Brief therapy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Focal]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Psychodynamic counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Sessions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/counselling/brief/</guid> <description><![CDATA[When you need a brief solution, you'd choose Dean Richardson's brief focal therapy. Brief therapy is a specialised, time-limited form of counselling  that offers you a set number of sessions (discussed between you and Dean at the beginning). By being focussed upon a single, important subject, the counselling work becomes swift, concentrated ... and budget-able.  Brief psychodynamic counselling is not suitable for everyone ('open-ended' being another option), but whether six sessions, twelve, or a number specific to your needs, Dean will help you decide if this can be a good therapy for you...]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>We met just 3 times - it was helpful to look over my concerns ... and I didn't need to do any more after that!</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div><h2>An Introduction Brief/Focal Counselling.</h2><p>Dean Richardson offers a form of therapy for individuals called brief/focal short-term psychodynamic counselling. This is a a type of fixed-number of sessions of therapy available to individuals only (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/couple_relationship_therapy/" title="Choose Relationship Counselling" rel="bookmark">click for couples counselling</a>).</p><p>This approach can be beneficial to some clients with certain criteria (explained below). It is important, however, to realise that the time-limited/brief approach is not suitable for everyone, and an assessment at the start of counselling will be helpful in determining if offering brief counselling is in the client&#8217;s best interests.</p><h2>How Brief/Focal Counselling can help.</h2><p>Brief counselling can help with an individual who wishes to focus upon a clear, defined issue, in a limited amount of time.</p><p>The relationship between the client and counsellor must be good to be able to achieve this focussed work. Client and counsellor meet weekly for an agreed set number of sessions (agreed at the start of the work).  The structure of the work is the same as open-ended counselling (session lasts for fifty minutes, weekly, same time/location each week).  Because brief therapy work concentrates upon a specific matter the therapy aims not to expand into other subject matters.</p><h2>What&#8217;s involved in Brief/Focal Counselling.</h2><div class="ICinfobox_post"><h3>A short summary of Brief Counselling.</h3><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>An agreed focus for the therapy work.</li><li>A fixed number of sessions.</li><li>Brief work must be suitable for the client&#8217;s needs before commencing.</li><li>Although other matters may come up during counselling, these matters may need to be put aside (at least for this contract).</li><li>The client and counsellor must be motivated and focussed to do this form of therapy.</li><li>The relationship between counsellor and client must be good to achieve this focussed work.</li></ul></div></div><h3>Benefits of Brief Counselling.</h3><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>The therapy lasts for a certain &#8220;known&#8221; amount of time (and budget).</li><li>The end date of the therapy is known at the start (which can be helpful on the focus of the counselling).</li><li>The client is aware of how much money the counselling will cost.</li><li>Only a specific matter is worked with, agreed between counsellor and client upfront.</li><li>It can be useful to be able to measure the outcome of the counselling (discussed &amp; agreed upfront), although this is in no way essential or compulsory,</li><li>The rapport between client and counsellor is good, and therapeutically reliable (the client having had at least one beneficial relationship in their life).</li><li>Uses client&#8217;s own insight into their problem,</li><li>Works if the area of conflict can be agreed upon.</li></ul></div><h2>When Brief/Focal Counselling is not Suitable.</h2><p>The counsellor is responsible for judging during the assessment if the client is suitable for brief therapy or if such therapy may cause harm to the client (eg based upon the client&#8217;s level of functioning) when, instead, the counsellor may offer other forms of therapy (such as open-ended counselling). Other counter-indications for brief counselling may include:</p><div class='et-custom-list etlist-x'><ul><li>The client is unable to focus adequately on one matter, instead requiring the time and space to make use of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_association_%28psychology%29" target="_blank">free association</a>.</li><li>The client is unmotivated to focus on a particular matter within the limited amount of time.</li><li>It is felt by the client and/or counsellor that the client&#8217;s needs would not be adequately met by focussing upon just one matter.</li><li>When setting a deadline to a psychological or emotional matter would be inappropriate (eg the client is motivated to select short-term work only because of costs or due to an EAP offering only of a fixed number of sessions, when the client&#8217;s needs are greater than that offered &amp; beyond the therapeutic interventions available).</li><li>The client&#8217;s ability or potential for insight is limited (insight = a kind of self-realization or self-knowledge).</li><li>The client may be dependant on the counsellor for providing solutions, rather than be motivated to be an active participant in their own therapy.</li><li>From a psychodynamic point of view, the client&#8217;s defence mechanisms and resistance are too high/too ingrained to invite self-change during brief therapy.</li></ul></div><h2>What to do Next&#8230;</h2><p>If you are interested in potentially receiving brief psychodynamic counselling, contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.</p><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/brief_focal_counselling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Choose LGBT Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 11 Sep 2011 10:41:11 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Assessment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[BACP]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Bisexual]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Individuals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay Male Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lesbian]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lesbian Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[LGBT]]></category> <category><![CDATA[LGBT Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[LGBT Support Groups]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Questioning]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Sexuality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Skype]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Skype Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/?page_id=2664</guid> <description><![CDATA[<span class='FeatureSentance'>Most counsellors will work with LGBT clients, but Dean Richardson is a [iCDecision func="IsGay"]gay male counsellor specialising in LGBT therapies.[/iCDecision] [iCDecision func="IsGay" not=1]LGBT-specialist counsellor.[/iCDecision]</span> Spot the difference?!  Sure, any gay or lesbian client may work with any counsellor, but LGBT clients choose to work with Dean as a <strong>qualified[iCDecision func="IsGay"] gay[/iCDecision] male therapist</strong> because of his speciality &#38; reputation. Dean offers counselling for gay couples, lesbian couples &#38; mixed-gender/sexuality couples (whether separating or reconciling) - <a href='/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt_couples_counselling/' title='Counselling for gay and lesbian Couples'><strong>Counselling for LGBT Couples</strong></a> &#38; <a href='/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/' title='Counselling for gay and lesbian Individuals'><strong>Counselling for LGBT Individuals</strong></a>. As a gay man, lesbian woman, or whatever is your most comfortable gender- and sexual- identification, decide if you would like to meet Dean to discuss your therapeutic needs...]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>As a lesbian couple, we found Dean safe to work with.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div><h2>Private Counselling for Lesbian, Gay, Transgender &amp; Bisexual.</h2><h3>Dean Richardson MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg &#8211; LGBT Specialist Counsellor.</h3><p><span style='display:none;'><strong>Fully qualified &amp; experienced gay male counsellor for LGBT Couples &amp; LGBT Individuals</strong> (</span><strong>LGBT:</strong> Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender &amp; Questioning Individuals.<span style='display:none;'>)</span></p><p>With over thirteen years&#8217; practical experience working in Hampshire, Dean Richardson set up his private Portsmouth counselling practice to specialise in working with gay / lesbian / transgender/transvestite and bisexual clients in therapy.</p><p style="clear: left;"><strong>There are very few private Hampshire counselling practices that specialise in gay &amp; lesbian clients</strong>, and Dean offers three primary Hampshire LGBT services in his practice in Southsea (south of Portsmouth, PO5, <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/" title="Counselling Locations" rel="bookmark">4 miles from M275 J12</a>):<div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/" title="LGBT Personal Counselling" rel="bookmark">LGBT Individual&#8217;s Counselling</a></li><li><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt_couples_counselling/" title="LGBT Couples Counselling" rel="bookmark">LGBT Couples Counselling</a> (same/mixed gender &amp; same/mixed sexualities)</li><li><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/therapy_groups/" title="Choose Therapy Groups" rel="bookmark">LGBT Support Groups</a></li></ul></div></p><p>&#8230; these LGBT-therapy services are available to anyone in <span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5380' style=''><a href="/articles/tag/portsmouth/">Portsmouth</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/southsea/">Southsea</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/southampton/">Southampton</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/fareham/">Fareham</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/gosport/">Gosport</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/havant/">Havant</a> &amp; <a href="/articles/tag/hayling-island/">Hayling Island</a>, northwards to <a href="/articles/tag/petersfield/">Petersfield</a> and eastwards to <a href="/articles/tag/chichester/">Chichester</a></span>.</p><h3>Specialist LGBT Counselling for Hampshire &amp; Skype Video.</h3><p>Counselling focussed specifically on lesbian, gay, trans and bi clients isn&#8217;t just about  understanding an LGBT-lifestyle and same-sex life-choices. For one thing, a counselling speciality involves an understanding the language characterised by LGBT lifestyles (&#8220;BDSM&#8221;, &#8220;PEP&#8221;, &#8220;CBT&#8221;, &#8220;S&amp;M&#8221;).  It involves knowledge of appropriate LGBT psychological-related studies, as well as having a reliable core psychotherapeutic framework that&#8217;s appropriate for the therapy being sought.</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>By choosing Dean Richardson &#8211; offering LGBT-specialist counselling in Hampshire &#8211; you&#8217;re beginning to tick the right boxes for gay people with specific therapeutic needs.</li></ul></div><h2 style="clear: left;">Why Consider a  Specialist LGBT Counsellor?</h2><p><strong>The following are just just some of the reasons why choosing Dean as <strong>your Specialist LGBT Counsellor <strong>for same-sex relationship- or simply individual- needs </strong></strong>is worth considering.</strong></p><p>Whilst it&#8217;s accurate that most therapists in Hampshire could work with most clients in the local areas, LGBT people sometimes seek counselling from a  specialist LGBT private counsellor for specific reasons.</p><p>Perhaps not least is to seek a sense of assurance that the counsellor  understands and empathises with LGBT social, sexual &amp; community conduct and that this type of  counsellor is sought after to convey the sense of understanding to the LGBT individual or couple that is sometimes not experienced from a generic-practice counsellor.</p><p><div style='' class='et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow iCSideComment'><div>Most counsellors will work with LGBT people.  <strong>Dean Richardson is  an LGBT Counsellor</strong>.  Spot the difference?</div></div> Within many therapies, the idea of the &#8220;therapeutic alliance&#8221; is an important concept.  In its basic form, it is <em>the relationship</em> between client and therapist where the therapeutic work is achieved, regardless of the therapist&#8217;s technique or the therapist&#8217;s model or level of skills. Part of this alliance is based out of trust: the therapist has to prove they are someone who can be trusted, and sometimes this proof is required during the most very difficult parts of the therapy work.</p><p>Whilst there is therapeutic benefits in an LGBT client <em>imagining</em> that a  specialist LGBT counsellor will immediately be understanding &amp; trustworthy, I would suggest that it is the qualities of the therapist who handles this imagination that is paramount during the initial part of the therapy<span style='display:none;'> regardless of the counsellor being gay or not</span>. Yet,  an LGBT-specialist  counsellor can still offer an empathic understanding of the client or couple&#8217;s real world that other therapists may not be able to.</p><p style="clear: right;"><div class='et-tabs-container' id='et-tabs-container18'><ul class='et-tabs-control'><li><a href='#'> LGBT Couples Counselling </a></li><li><a href='#'> LGBT Individuals Counselling </a></li><li><a href='#'> LGBT Support Groups </a></li><li><a href='#'> Online LGBT Skype Counselling </a></li></ul><div class='et-tabs-content'><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>LGBT Couples Counselling.</h3><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/3167261628_a4d296610e_z1-132552_100x100.jpg' alt='\"I Bet It\'s `Can\'t Get You Out of My Head`\"' title='\"I Bet It\'s `Can\'t Get You Out of My Head`\"' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"I Bet It's `Can't Get You Out of My Head`" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/carbonnyc/' target='_blank'>CarbonNYC</a></div></div><div><p>When gay, lesbian or mixed-orientation couple relationships suffer conflicts &amp; breakdowns and partners wish to engage a professional to help them understand what may be going on, LGBT couples may prefer to work with someone who is also member of their own sexuality group.</p><p>Couples choose counselling due to experiencing a negative recent event, or one from years ago, infidelity, mistrust, life stages, birth, ageing, death, wishing to separate and so on. Some relationships struggle to manage certain conflicts.</p><p>The counsellor is a neutral participant who doesn’t impose solutions. Instead he offers observation, curiosity and therapeutic hypotheses about the relationship’s behaviour &#8211; and invites the couple to take on similar acts to help perturb the unsatisfactory behaviour.</p><p>In aiming to help the couple help themselves in understanding what’s going on in their relationship, the couple can teach themselves  to become unstuck and move through relationship problems. With new information a couple can notices differences and use these to make changes (by themselves) for the better.</p></div> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt_couples_counselling/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>LGBT Individual&#8217;s Counselling.</h3><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/5847833509_b606bcd311_z1-128944_100x100.jpg' alt='Gay pride 2011 à Toulouse' title='Gay pride 2011 à Toulouse' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"Gay pride 2011 à Toulouse" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/gpaumier/' target='_blank'>Guillaume Paumier</a></div></div><p>Whilst it’s true that a gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or “questioning” person  may be able to work with most any counsellor, some LGBT individuals choose to work on personal matters with a counsellor who also identifies as a member of the individual’s sexuality group.</p><p>All sorts of  LGBT&amp;Q individuals come to counselling for all sorts of reasons.  Those experiencing a negative recent event, or one from years ago, unexplained behaviour, infidelity, mistrust, life stages, relationships, ageing, death … they all have an impact on an individual’s life &#8211; and counselling is there when you have temporarily lost your ability to manage on your own.</p><p>The topic of your sexuality may not be the focus of your counselling and this is perfectly natural.  Sometimes the LGBT client simply wishes to talk about particular struggles in their life without feeling as if they have to explain their life choices or define their choice of words for their counsellor to understand.</p> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>LGBT Support Groups.</h3><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/65444685_5210d9a5fb1-144504_100x100.jpg' alt='Circle of Friends' title='Circle of Friends' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"Circle of Friends" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/wilderdom/' target='_blank'>Jimee, Jackie, Tom &amp; Asha</a></div></div>Sometimes, joining a therapeutic support group can help the LGBT individual recognise that they&#8217;re not struggling with their problems alone.</p><p>Groups not only discuss problems similar to each group member, but can also discuss &#8220;non-problems&#8221; (i.e. by the group discussing matters that are not the individual&#8217;s problem, the group can helpfully demonstrate life-management skills that are different to an individual&#8217;s personal difficulties).</p><p>Groups can be homogeneous (all members share similar personal-problems) or heterogeneous (members exhibit different problems), a closed group (the group starts with the same members that it finishes with) or open (the group allows new members to join and others to life during the life of the group).</p><p>Dean Richardson&#8217;s support groups can either be created &#8220;On Demand&#8221; &#8211; (a minimum of 4 &amp; maximum of 8 participants are required  for a new group) or, if a suitable open group is already running, you may be able to join an existing group.</p> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/therapy_groups/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div> <div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Online LGBT Skype Counselling .</h3><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/Image-Skype-43294_100x100.jpg' alt='Bon Anniversaire' title='Bon Anniversaire' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"Bon Anniversaire" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/globalx/'>Global X</a></div></div>Sometimes you find your ideal counsellor &#8230; and he works 100s of miles away from you. Fortunately, you can access Dean Richardson&#8217;s LGBT counselling services online using your camera-enabled computer or Smartphone &#8230; with Skype.</p><p>Simply install the <a title="Counselling through Skype" href="http://www.skype.com" target="_blank">free Skype software</a>, and you can engage in counselling sessions with Dean using video conferencing.</p><h4 style="display: inline;">Online Counselling for LGBT long-distance Couples.</h4><p>Gay &amp; lesbian couples who are in a long-distance relationship can also make use of <strong>Skype Couples Counselling</strong>. Dean subscribes to the Skype Group Video service on your behalf so that both of you &#8211; along with Dean &#8211; can see each other simultaneously through Skype.  Even for couples in the same location, using two computers can be helpful &#8211; as everyone sees the other two people on their screen.  Dean&#8217;s Online LGBT Skype Couples Counselling services is also suitable for couples of mixed-gender &amp; mixed-sexuality (e.g. gay male and straight female intimate relationship).</p><h4 style="display: inline;">What&#8217;s Skype Counselling like?</h4><p>Initially some people find video conferencing a little unusual, but a handy tip is that if you maximise the video window, looking at the computer soon feels as if the people on screen are in the same room as you.</p><p>Want to work with Dean, but are unable to get to his Portsmouth location?  Consider Skype for Online LGBT Counselling.</p> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div></div></div> <script type='text/javascript'>function iCETShortcodesSwitcher(){jQuery('#et-tabs-container18 .et-tabs-content').et_shortcodes_switcher({slidePadding:'20px 25px 8px',linksNav:'#et-tabs-container18 .et-tabs-control li a',findParent:true,fx:'fade',auto:false,autoSpeed:'5000'});}
iCLoadList.push(iCETShortcodesSwitcher);</script></p><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Choose Personal Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/individual_therapy/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/individual_therapy/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:17:55 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Assessment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Individuals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Sessions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Therapy]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<span class='FeatureSentance'>Individual personal counselling is a one-on-one therapy.</span> People wanting personal therapeutic attention from a qualified counsellor choose [permalink href='2802']Dean Richardson[/permalink].  Dean and you meet weekly (same day/time/location) working on personal issues that you lead with and that you and Dean discover together during the initial meeting.  By building a helpful therapeutic relationship between you and Dean, both of you will support you in making transformations in your life - from small changes to major alterations - it's your choice. Would you like to begin counselling soon...?]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>I had to find a counsellor as part of my training course. I'm glad I stumbled on finding you.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div></div><h2>Introducing Individuals Counselling.</h2><p><strong><strong>What if a single idea could transform your life?</strong></strong></p><p>Individuals counselling is ideal for a single person wishing to deal with anything from anxiety, depression, phobias, confidence, work issues, relationship problems and many more issues. Counselling can help you address and work through problems in your life, to help you resolve them.</p><p>Taking up private counselling means that you don&#8217;t need to be referred to a counsellor by the NHS or your GP.  You won&#8217;t have to go on a waiting list and you are not limited to a strict maximum number of six sessions.  Neither are you restricted to one particular form of counselling &#8211; which may or may not help you &#8211; the choice being made on your behalf by what&#8217;s available on the NHS . By going private your GP will not be informed of your counselling &#8211; it remains totally confidential.</p><h2>How Counselling can help.</h2><p>When you have issues on your mind, and you either cannot talk with friends or family &#8211; or friends and family are unable to help sufficiently &#8211; private counselling helps an individual address difficulties and distresses.  Sometimes it&#8217;s impossible to explain to a family member or a friend why you feel down, or anxious (a typical question from famiy and friends is: &#8220;&#8230; but <em>why </em>are you feeling like this&#8221; as if knowing the answering will help fix the problem) &#8211; but to a therapist you don&#8217;t have to explain yourself.</p><p>Counselling can help by supporting you in many ways:-</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Helping you work through a difficult life issue (health, losses, work stresses, past traumas and so on).</li><li>Assisting you weigh up options or goals.</li><li>Talking through making a difficult choice.</li><li>Talking through past experiences which need to be put to rest (eg issues/trauma from growing up).</li></ul></div><p>Some people come into counselling not knowing why.  And we can help with that too.</p><p>Sometimes just knowing that someone is on your side in empathy can be enough.</p><h2>What&#8217;s Involved.</h2><p>We initially meet to discuss your needs from counselling &#8230; and to have a think about what counselling might help you.  This is called the &#8220;assessment&#8221; session.</p><p>If we agree that counselling could be helpful, and we think that we can work with each other, we will arrange subsequent sessions.  Sometimes brief/focal counselling (a fixed number of sessions) is agreed suitable, sometimes working until the issues are worked through is a better choice.</p><p>Then we talk.</p><p>You will lead the sessions (with the counselling helping at the beginning of the work).  Whatever you want to talk about is OK.  The counsellor will listen, be inquisitive and curious to help understand aspects of the problems that, perhaps, you had not considered before.  The counsellor may sometimes offer thoughts and interpretations about what might be happening for you &#8230; giving you another perspective that is intended to help you understand the issues.  Sometimes, looking forward into the future will be discussed; how will things be when the issues are resolved and put away.  Sometimes the therapist will work with your emotions, sometimes the therapist will work with your patterns of thinking.  All of this is aimed to help you find your own ways that work for you in putting the problems to bed, leaving you unburned/less burned than when you came to therapy.</p><p>All sessions are fifty minutes, are held weekly on the same day and time and same location.</p><h2>Responsibilities within Individual&#8217;s Counselling.</h2><div class='one_half'><h3>What is expected of the Therapist?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5392' style='display:block; line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Ensuring the safety of both the therapist and client (eg a quiet, confidential room that will not be disturbed, that the session time begins and ends on time).</li><li>To take an ethical stance on all matters, to follow the <a title="BACP Ethical Framework" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">BACP's Ethical Framework</a>, and to ensure his best practice for the client at all times.</li><li>To ensure that the client can discuss his/her subjects in safety - albeit not necessarily always in comfort (i.e. discussing trauma will be uncomfortable to begin with) - but ensuring the client can stop at any time they wish to.</li><li>To listen without communicating judgement or prejudice.</li><li>To try and use the client's own language to discuss matters where possible (i.e. if the client doesn't speak in 'emotions' but instead talks about 'behaviour', then the therapist speaking exclusively in terms of 'emotions' may not be very helpful).</li><li>To recognise and work with social, sexual, ability and cultural differences (that the therapist is not giving advice from his position ("What I would do is..."), but is being effective in helping the client find his/her own resolutions and/or management of problems).</li><li>To be earnest on assisting the client out of therapy either when the client is ready to leave, or by helping the client recognise that the therapy may have been concluded (i.e. not keeping a person in therapy beyond a legitimate need &amp; not ousting a client before he/she is ready to leave).</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='one_half last'><h3>What is expected of the Client?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5390' style='display:block; line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Initially, the client needs simply to being willing to give the therapy a try - even if sceptical or unsure of the therapist's approach.</li><li>To bear in mind that counselling is not <em>done</em> to him/her as a client, that he/she will not be <em>cured</em> by the therapist's approach alone. He/she is an active participant in the therapy (albeit this may not be possible at the start - and sometimes not during - due to emotional states).</li><li>To ensuring that he/she tells the truth in all matters but also to be aware that he/she can decline to discuss anything uncomfortable.</li><li>To take responsibility for bringing up concerns or dissatisfaction about the therapist with the therapist (e.g. the therapist's conduct, something he said, something he does etc.). All therapists appreciate that this may take courage ... but as the therapist has the best of intentions, and whilst his experience may often tip him off to a client being disturbed by something he does or says, he may not always be aware of any deep or hidden irritation on behalf the client.</li><li>When the client/therapist agree an exercise between sessions is appropriate, to be willing to find the time to address the exercise, or be willing to discuss matters if the exercise was not completed (or, say, not completed to the client's satisfaction).</li><li>Be willing to bring up ending counselling when he/she feels that time is approaching.</li></ul></div> </span> </div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><h2>What Individual Counselling isn&#8217;t suitable for.</h2><div class='et-custom-list etlist-x'><div style="float: right; width: 260px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; font-size: 9pt;"><div class='et-box et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h4 style="margin: 0pt; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;">Skype Counselling.</h4><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:69px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/Skype-S-4669_52x52.jpg' alt='Skype-S' title='Skype-S' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:52px; height:52px;' /><div id='description'>Skype logo &copy <a href='http://skype.com' target='_blank'>Skype</a></div></div>Individuals looking to work with Dean, but live too far away to travel weekly to Portsmouth, may find Dean&#8217;s <strong>Skype Personal Counselling Service</strong> useful (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/" title="Choose Skype Counselling" rel="bookmark">read more…</a>)</div></div></p></div><ul><li>Counselling is not an advice service. The therapist cannot give you solutions based upon his own experience, judgement or from a reference manual.</li><li>The therapist cannot take action on your behalf (e.g. writing to a government agency, or writing a complaint to a company on your behalf).</li><li>Counselling isn&#8217;t a social meeting &#8211; although it can appear as though it is a social relationship.</li><li>Counselling is not held anywhere public (eg a cafe, library).  Some therapists will offer home-visits.</li><li>Individual counselling cannot help change a third party.  Sometimes people wish to come and talk about their problems with another person, sometimes wanting solutions for that <em>other</em> person to be changed.  The only person we can work with to change in individual therapy is you.</li></ul></div><h2>What do to next&#8230;</h2><p> If you are interested in potentially receiving individuals&#8217; counselling, contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.</p> <a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson...</span></span></a><br class="clear"/><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/individual_therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Choose Relationship Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/couple_relationship_therapy/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/couple_relationship_therapy/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:30:22 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Domestic Violence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Marriage Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Marriage Guidance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/counselling/individuals-2/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<span class='FeatureSentance'>The choice to come into relationship counselling for couples may be a courageous one.</span> Choosing [permalink href='2802']Dean Richardson[/permalink] can help you both transform a most important relationship in your life. Ideal for marriages, civil-partnerships and platonic/family/business relationships. With lots of therapeutic curiosity we'll learn how your relationship became stuck, we'll learn how to shift unhappy behaviour gaining new knowledge, inspiration &#38; creative ideas from all of us. We'll invite change.  With supportive observation, challenge &#38; systemic hypothesising, Dean will help you both to join in the process until you have no further need of him nor counselling. [iCDecision func='IsSkype'] [permalink href='2950']Also available on Skype.[/permalink] [/iCDecision] Whether <i>breaking-up</i> or <i>reconciling</i>, you could begin relationship counselling soon...]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="float: right; width: 340px;"><div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>We thought we were separating. Through counselling, we found out that we wanted to do "seperate" things.  Our relationship is much better now.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div></div><h2>Introducing Relationship Counselling for Adult Couples.</h2><p><em><strong>What if curiosity could take your relationship somewhere better?</strong></em></p><p>Whatever type of relationship you&#8217;re in: <em><strong>intimate</strong></em>, <em><strong>marital, civil-partnership, </strong></em><em><strong>living together</strong></em>, <strong><em>straight</em></strong>, <strong><em>LGBT</em></strong>, <em><strong>mixed-orientation</strong></em>, <em><strong>platonic, family (brother(s), sister(s), parental/offspring etc) or business</strong></em> &#8230; the choice to come into relationship counselling for couples may be the most courageous one you and your partner, family-member, friend or business partner make together.</p><p><div style='clear:none; margin-right:25pt !important;' class='et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow iCSideComment'><div> <span class='et-tooltip'>Systemic<span class='et-tooltip-box'><b>Systemic</b> therapy is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate and platonic relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members.<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy</a><span class='et-tooltip-arrow'></span></span></span> / <span class='et-tooltip'>psychodynamic<span class='et-tooltip-box'><b>Psychodynamics</b> is the theory and systematic study of the psychological forces that underlie human behavior, especially the dynamic relations between conscious motivation and unconscious motivation.<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamics" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamics</a><span class='et-tooltip-arrow'></span></span></span> couple counselling is for a pair of adults, in any form of adult relationship, who are struggling with how the couple relate to each other.</div></div><strong> Dean Richardson MBACP(accred), UKRCP Reg.,</strong> will introduce you to, and help you both through, the relationship counselling process.</p><p><strong>Couple counselling is not <em>just</em> &#8220;marriage counselling&#8221;.</strong>  Whilst it can be ideal for marriages, relationship counselling is a systemic &amp; psychodynamic form of therapy for ALL couple relationships.</p><h2 style="margin-top: 18pt;">Deciding if Relationship Counselling is for you.</h2><p>Do any of these situations seem familiar?</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>A sense that the reasons for staying in the relationship have become lost (to one or both of you).</li><li>Repeating patterns of unhappy behaviour that neither of you can shift.</li><li>You hardly talk to each other any more.</li><li>You want to&#8230; and your partner doesn&#8217;t&#8230;</li><li>Sexual problems: physical or emotional.</li><li>Intimacy problems (different from sexual problems).</li><li>Violence or abuse in the relationship (ranging from feeling bullied to physical and emotional abuse).</li><li>One of you, or both of you, have acted outside the relationship&#8217;s understanding (eg affairs, open-relationships, social etc).</li><li>Relationship experimentation (Open relationships, sexual practices etc.) not going well.</li></ul></div><h2>How Relationship Counselling can help.</h2><p>Sometimes couples can find their relationship behaviour has gotten stuck in unsatisfactory or unhappy patterns.  Couples who cannot get themselves out of these patterns may find psychodynamic &amp; systemic couples counselling suitable in helping perturb the patterns.</p><blockquote><p>It&#8217;s a common misunderstanding that people think couples counselling is aimed at making couples stay together.  The couples therapist actually follows what <em>the couple wishes</em> from their therapy; meaning that if the couple wish to work to stay together then the counselling will help the couple to figure that out how this may be achieved.  Alternatively, if the couple wishes to separate then counselling will help the couple to figure out how best they may separate. A couple who is undecided / in disagreement can use the couples counselling process to assist them in figuring out a compromise of what they both might wish to do.</p></blockquote><p>The couple doesn&#8217;t have to know <em>how</em> they&#8217;ll achieve what they want (very often the couple think that they&#8217;ve tried everything) &#8211; the couples therapist has the skills to help with this.</p><h2>What&#8217;s Involved in Relationship Counselling.</h2><div class='one_third'><div class='et-testimonial-box'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'> <span id='TestimonialText'>…the therapist does not impose normative (or other) views about couple functioning in general, nor about the specific solutions that might be acceptable to this couple in particular. Instead the therapist maintains a stance of open-minded curiosity […] which leads to an exploration with the couple of the history and meanings of their current situation and of their previous attempted solutions and impasses.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'>Jones &amp; Asen, 2000</span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div></div><p>Initially, the couple meet with Dean Richardson for an assessment for couples counselling.  This usually takes four sessions:-</p><ul><li><strong>Session 1:</strong> all three of us meet to discuss an overview of what is needed from counselling.</li><li><strong>Session 2:</strong> one partner meets with Dean separately.  This is to discuss their perspective on the couple relationship, and to discuss some personal history.</li><li><strong>Session 3:</strong> the other partner meets with Dean separately as in session 2.</li><li><strong>Session 4:</strong> all three of us meet again to discuss what we have learned in the previous sessions, and to begin to set a focus about what the relationship counselling should address.</li></ul><p>Subsequent sessions are lead by the couple, with the therapist offering observations and therapeutic hypotheses on the relationship to help both partners learn what might be going on.  With new information the couple can make informed choices.</p><p>A main intention is to help disturb the  relationship’s unhappy behaviour patterns by being curious and interested on the relationship system (what the relationship is doing), learning &amp; finding new information and allowing inspiration to address what we are learning plus being creative with solutions that the couple will come up with themselves.</p><p>The process encourages more space for thought and inspiration &#8211; allowing the couple&#8217;s relationship to become unstuck again.</p> <span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5557' style=''><a name="Couple_Counselling_along_with_Individual_Counselling"></a><h2>Couple Counselling simultaneously with Individual Counselling.</h2> Whilst it is not recommended that an individual be in therapy with multiple-therapists at the same time, a couple may be in couple counselling at the same time that one or both partners are in individual counselling.The main reason why this is acceptable is because systemic/psychodynamic couple counselling focusses upon the couple's <em>relationship</em> whereas individual therapy focuses on the individual.There is one important boundary, though, and that is the individuals must be in individual therapy with a therapist who is <em>not </em>the couple's therapist.  The couple's therapist will have no contact with the individual therapists (the relationship work remains protected) and whilst the individual(s) may speak about the couple therapy in their own therapy, they can only ever present their unique point of view (not their partner's), so the individual therapy remains focussed on the individual.Any matters effecting an individual that are brought out within the couple work can be looked at by the individual in their own counselling.<h3>Individual Counselling within Couple Counselling.</h3> Assuming that both partners are <em>not</em> in individual therapy, it is not unusual for couple work to focus upon an individual from time to time. This is a unique form of individual work because the individual's partner will be present for all the sessions (who may comment or listen through the session).This is individual counselling in the context of the couple's relationship, is often an important intervention during couple work, and is not offered as a substitute for individual counselling.</span><p>&nbsp;</p><h2>Responsibilities in Couples Counselling.</h2><div class='one_half'><h3>What is expected of the Therapist?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5396' style='line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Ensuring the safety of both the therapist and couple (eg a quiet, confidential room that will not be disturbed, that the session time begins and ends on time).</li><li>To take an ethical stance on all matters, to follow the <a title="BACP Ethical Framework" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">BACP's Ethical Framework</a>, and to ensure his best practice for the client at all times.</li><li>To ensure that the couple can discuss their relationship in safety - albeit not necessarily always in comfort (i.e. discussing subjects that the couple have not discussed in front of each other before can be uncomfortable to begin with) - but ensuring the couple can stop at any time they wish to.</li><li>To listen without communicating judgement or prejudice and to not take sides with one partner or the other (the <em>relationship</em> is the therapist's client, rather the two individuals).</li><li>To assist the couple in perturbing the conflicting relationship patterns through use of curiosity, new knowledge, and a disturbance of current unsatisfactory behaviours ... initially on his own but being active in inviting the couple to participate at their own comfort level,</li><li>To try and use the couple's own language to discuss matters where possible (e.g. if one partner doesn't speak in 'emotions' and the other does, to assist the relationship in negotiating a common-enough language so that what is being spoken of can be understood).</li><li>To recognise and work with social, sexual, ability and cultural differences (that the therapist is not giving advice from his position ("What I would do is..."), but is being effective in helping the couple find their own resolutions and/or management of problems).</li><li>To not meet with one partner without the express knowledge and permission of the other partner - and to not engage in individual therapy with either partner whilst the couple's therapy contract with the therapist is in effect.</li><li>To be earnest on assisting the couple out of therapy either when they are ready to leave, or by helping them recognise that what they initially came into address has been so addressed (i.e. not keeping a couple in therapy beyond a legitimate need &amp; not ousting a couple before they are ready to leave).</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='one_half last'><h3>What is expected of the Couple?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5394' style='line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Initially, the couple needs simply to being willing to give the therapy a try - even if sceptical or unsure of the therapist's approach.</li><li>To be aware that couple counselling cannot help with a conflicting agenda, but if the couple wish the counselling can help the couple negotiate a mutual agenda for the therapy.</li><li>To bear in mind that couple counselling is not <em>done</em> to them as a couple, that they will not be <em>cured</em> by the therapist's approach alone. They are both active participants in the therapy (albeit this may not be possible at the start - and sometimes not during - due to emotional states).</li><li>To be willing to embrace the idea that they will be invited to be creative &amp; inspired towards other approaches in their relationships and to open to hypothesise about what's happening in their relationship ... and that the therapist will assist them in this process until they can do it alone.</li><li>To ensuring that they tell the truth in all matters but also to be aware that either partner can decline to discuss anything uncomfortable.</li><li>To take responsibility for bringing up concerns or dissatisfaction about the therapist with the therapist (e.g. the therapist's conduct, something he said, something he does etc.). All therapists appreciate that this may take courage ... but as the therapist has the best of intentions, and whilst his experience may often tip him off to the couple being disturbed by something he does or says, he may not always be aware of any deep or hidden irritation.</li><li>When the couple agree an exercise between sessions is appropriate, to be willing to find the time to address the exercise, or be willing to discuss matters if the exercise was not completed (or, say, not completed to the couple's satisfaction).</li><li>Be willing to bring up ending counselling when the couple feels that time is approaching.</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><h2>Care when perturbing relationships.</h2><p><div class='one_third'><div class='et-testimonial-box'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'> <span id='TestimonialText'>&#8230;the thing that&#8217;s driving you crazy might be the thing that&#8217;s keeping your partner sane.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'>Unknown</span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div></div> Systemic couple relationship counselling consists of &#8211; amongst other things &#8211; perturbing the unsatisfactory relationship system sufficiently to allow for knew knowledge, inspiration and change.  However, the system that the couple brings to therapy is the one that the couple have created themselves.  They may not be aware of their involvement in the creation, or why. The way the relationship is working is doing so for very good reasons, even though the couple may not be aware of their own involvement.</p><p>Sometimes, couples <em>don&#8217;t</em> communicate for very good reasons.  Their non-communication can have purpose &#8211; whether it may be to protect the relationship, protect feelings, or is a way of avoiding further conflict.  When couple therapy begins to stick its nose into the relationship, more unhappiness can be brought out than before the therapy began.  The couple&#8217;s relationship can feel worse before it can feel better.</p><h2>Why Separating Relationships use Counselling to Break-Up.</h2><p>During the initial years, a couple&#8217;s relationship will go through a process of joining and blending.  When one partner decides that they wish to leave the relationship, the separation can be experienced as terribly painful.</p><p>The relationship may have introduced assets &#8211; children, pets, possessions, property; the couple will have to decide how to manage the division of what the relationship has created.</p><p>In relationship counselling,<strong> the couple can find a safe, secure place in which to discuss how the relationship divides</strong> the assets, and discuss the responsibilities of managing children and pets.</p><h2>Does Relationship Counselling Work?</h2><p>An important question might be: &#8220;Will relationship counselling work for me and my partner?&#8221;</p><p>I&#8217;m wring from a systemic &amp; psychodynamic point of view to relationship counselling.  A relationship gets into trouble because of what the partners are both contributing to the relationship-conflicts.  It may seem that <em>just one</em> partner is doing all the trouble-making, but I would also suggest to you that it takes two partners&#8217; combined behaviour (whether conscious or unconscious) to bring a relationship onto conflict.</p><p><strong>There has to be reasons for the conflict to occur &#8211; even if the reasons are not understood. </strong></p><p>Couple counselling aims to help the partners perturb the conflict (actively get on the way of stuff going wrong, so that they can introduce stuff going right).  This can have an important consequence: <strong>whatever the reasons for the conflict being introduced will also be effected by the conflict being removed</strong>.</p><p><div class='one_half'><div class='et-box et-iCBox'  style='height:340px'><div class='et-box-content'  style='height:340px'><h3>The thing that&#8217;s driving you crazy, may be the thing that keeps your partner sane.</h3><p>Couple counselling can be a friendly, socially-respectful process.  I don&#8217;t want to give the impression that the therapist will wield a huge blade, cutting away conflicts and disturbances.  This is not surgery.</p><p>At the same time, the couple are being helped by the therapist to &#8211; metaphorically &#8211; diagnose where the injuries lay and are being helped to discover for themselves treatment that the couple believe may help treat the injuries.</p><p>From the therapist&#8217;s position, he is actively learning about how the relationship works (even when it is unhappy) to help the couple discover matters which they are blind to (or cannot talk about to each other).  With the couple&#8217;s position, he may actively assist in perturbing the conflicts too.</p></div></div></div><div class='one_half last'><div class='et-box et-iCBox'  style='height:340px'><div class='et-box-content'  style='height:340px'><h3>Seriously &#8211; does it work?</h3><p>If you and your partner believe you may have the courage and a strong desire to address the problems that undoing the unhappy behaviour may reveal&#8230; if you and your partner might be able to support each other during the therapy, and both of you can contribute (or try, and then get used to contributing) new ideas &amp; inspiration for changing relationship behaviours&#8230; then yes, <strong>relationship counselling works well</strong> &#8211; <em>regardless of the couple wanting to reconcile or separate.</em></p><p>If, however, the relationship behaviours may be protecting matters that cannot be addressed (at least, cannot be addressed yet&#8230;), or you and your partner are not very interested in discovering newer ways to relate and a desire to address the unhappy behaviours (and some relationships manage just fine in this way) &#8230; then relationship counselling may not be for you together.  In which case, <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/individual_therapy/" title="Choose Personal Counselling" rel="bookmark">individual counselling</a> might be of help.</p></div></div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><p>It&#8217;s perfectly legitimate to begin relationship counselling without knowing if it will be successful or not.  The process is an investment in your relationship, and like any investment: what you get back may be more &#8211; or less &#8211; than you had hoped for.  But, unlike investing in a third-party (like stocks and shares) you&#8217;re investing in your relationship &#8230; something that you and your partner have an influence upon &#8230; <strong>and by involving an experienced couple counsellor you are not doing this alone.</strong></p><h2>What Relationship Counselling isn&#8217;t suitable for.</h2><div class='et-custom-list etlist-x'><div style="float: right; width: 260px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; font-size: 9pt;"><div class='et-box et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 style="margin: 0pt; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;">Long Distance Relationships.</h2><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:69px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/Skype-S-4669_52x52.jpg' alt='Skype-S' title='Skype-S' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:52px; height:52px;' /><div id='description'>Skype logo &copy <a href='http://skype.com' target='_blank'>Skype</a></div></div><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.4em;">Couples who are separated by distance &#8211; but who still need relationship counselling &#8211; may find Dean Richardson&#8217;s <strong>Skype Relationship Counselling Service</strong> useful (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/video-counselling-for-couples/" title="Video Counselling for Couples" rel="bookmark">read more…</a>)</span></div></div></div><ul><li> A couple who have separate mutually-exclusive agendas cannot be helped by this process (albeit the couple may wish to discuss their separate agendas with a view to finding a common goal).</li><li>Families &#8211; relationship counselling is not family therapy (ie groups of more than two people).</li><li>Adults who wish someone to change their partner to their satisfaction.  Couple counselling is a mutual process that will involve both partners.</li><li>Domestic Violence &#8211; excepting if both couples wish to change the violent relationship.</li><li>One partner coming to help the other / has nothing to contribute to the work &#8211; relationship counselling involves both partners.</li><li>One partner was not informed about the other partner&#8217;s desire to come to relationship counselling &#8211; both partners have to wish to take part in the process.</li></ul></div><h2>What do to next&#8230;</h2><p>If both of you are interested in potentially receiving couples counselling (systemic/psychodynamic model), contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.</p> <a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson...</span></span></a><br class="clear"/><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/couple_relationship_therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Costs of Counselling &amp; Therapy</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/fees/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/fees/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Thu, 01 Sep 2011 18:37:10 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fees]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Money]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/?page_id=2698</guid> <description><![CDATA[Private counselling can be a liberating, freeing experience and it is not free of charge. Dean Richardson's investment in your therapy and his commitment to you is appropriately matched by his per-session fees which vary accordingly on the type of therapy service you engage in.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="margin: 0; height: 1px;"><div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>Our business was in trouble because of the directors' working relationship. We dealt with our problems.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="/js/icounsellor/feetabletransition.js"></script></div><h2 style="margin-top: 0;">Private Counselling &#8211; Per-Session Fees.</h2><p>Counselling with <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/" title="About Dean Richardson" rel="bookmark">Dean Richardson</a> can be an incredibly liberating and helpful experience and when working with a qualified and experienced counsellor, such as Dean, both the client, the couple or the group and the therapist together can make life transforming experiences.</p><p>Private counselling is not free of charge and Dean&#8217;s investment in your therapy and commitment to you is appropriately matched by his professional counselling fees.</p><p>When deciding whether or not to consider Dean Richardson as your therapist, consider the following:-</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Dean is <strong>accredited</strong> by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (<a href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/accreditation/" target="_blank">BACP</a>) which confirms his years of experience, substantial training, practical experience and adherence to the BACP&#8217;s <a title="BACP Ethical Framework" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">Ethical Framework</a>.</li><li>Dean works therapeutically with: <strong>Individuals</strong>, <strong>Couples</strong> and <strong>Groups</strong>.</li><li>Dean arranges &amp; attends a minimum of 30 hours additional training (<strong>continued professional development</strong>) per year which keeps his private practice informed and up to date.</li><li>Dean arranges &amp; attends a minimum of 90-minutes/month <strong>clinical supervision</strong> appropriate to his therapy work.</li><li>Dean works with clients in both long-term/open-ended and short-term/brief therapies.</li><li>Dean operates a <strong>sliding fee scale</strong> on a <em>limited number of places</em>. When available, this can make private counselling accessible to those on a restricted or low-income.</li></ul></div><p>&#8230; <a title="About Counsellor Dean Richardson, MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg." href="/about/">click to read more about Dean Richardson</a>.</p><h2>How to pay for counselling.</h2><p>Counselling fees are payable weekly and can be paid using these methods:-</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Cash (exact money please).</li><li>Cheque (made out to “Dean Richardson”).</li><li>Credit/debit card* (<a title="Paying for Counselling Online Card Processing" href="/about/fees/online-card-payments/">click here to pay by card</a>)</li><li>PayPal* (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/fees/ways-to-pay-online-card-bank/" title="Ways to Pay: Online, Card, Bank" rel="bookmark">click to pay by PayPal</a>)</li></ul></div><table style="margin-top: 10px;" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td valign="top"><img style="margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 50px; height: 33px;" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_GB/GB/i/logo/PayPal_mark_50x34.gif" alt="Pay by Paypal" width="50" height="33" /></td><td><em>I accept secured online payments service from <strong>PayPal.</strong> Payments using this method will include a <strong>small PayPal-admin fee </strong>on top of your session fee &#8211; and you will be shown the total amount before you authorise any payment.</em></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="margin-top: 12pt;">Foreign Currency / Non-UK Clients.</h2><p>I accept Skype counselling enquiries from people outside of the UK, whose primary language is English, and who wishes to work with someone trained in the British school of psychodynamic, systemic, cognitive behavioural approach and group analytic modalities.</p><p>Apart from arranging a mutually convenient time due to time-differences, payments for therapy services using PayPal may be convenient to you.  PayPal will make the necessary currency transformations on your behalf.  EG &#8211; you use my <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/fees/ways-to-pay-online-card-bank/" title="Ways to Pay: Online, Card, Bank" rel="bookmark">Online Payments</a> page to begin paying a fee of, say, £45 &#8211; PayPal adds their commission charge (including any cross-border fees) and makes the necessary currency change (using a retail currency conversion value) presenting you with the final fee before you pay using your card.</p><p>Read more at PayPal:- <a title="PayPal Foreign Currency Fees" href="https://cms.paypal.com/uk/cgi-bin/marketingweb?cmd=_render-content&amp;content_ID=ua/UserAgreement_full&amp;locale.x=en_GB#8. Fees" target="_blank">https://cms.paypal.com/uk/cgi-bin/marketingweb?cmd=_render-content&amp;content_ID=ua/UserAgreement_full&amp;locale.x=en_GB#8. Fees</a></p><h2 style="clear: right;">Fees for Private Counselling.</h2><div id="pricingtable_1" style="clear: both; width: 830px; margin: 0pt auto;"><div class='et-pricing clearfix'><div class='pricing-table pricing-big'><div class='pricing-heading'><h2 class='pricing-title'>Couples</h2><p>Therapy for Relationships</p></div><div class='pricing-content'><div class='pricing-tcontent'><ul class='pricing'><li class="x-mark"><span>Individuals</span></li><li><span>Couples</span></li><li class="x-mark"><span>Groups</span></li><li><span>Face-to-Face</span></li><li><span>Weekly</span></li><li><span>50 minutes</span></li><li><span>Portsmouth</span></li></ul> <span class='et-price'><span class='dollar-sign'>£</span>50<sup>00 *</sup></span></div></div> <a href='#Couples_Counselling_Fees' class='join-button'><span>more...</span></a></div><div class='pricing-table'><div class='pricing-heading'><h2 class='pricing-title'>Personal</h2><p>Therapy for Individuals</p></div><div class='pricing-content'><div class='pricing-tcontent'><ul class='pricing'><li><span>Individuals</span></li><li class="x-mark"><span>Couples</span></li><li class="x-mark"><span>Groups</span></li><li><span>Face-to-Face</span></li><li><span>Weekly</span></li><li><span>50 minutes</span></li><li><span>Portsmouth</span></li></ul> <span class='et-price'><span class='dollar-sign'>£</span>45<sup>00 *</sup></span></div></div> <a href='#Individual_Counselling_Fees' class='join-button'><span>more...</span></a></div><div class='pricing-table'><div class='pricing-heading'><h2 class='pricing-title'>Groups</h2><p>Support Groups</p></div><div class='pricing-content'><div class='pricing-tcontent'><ul class='pricing'><li class="x-mark"><span>Individuals</span></li><li><span>Couples</span></li><li><span>Groups</span></li><li><span>Face-to-Face</span></li><li><span>Weekly</span></li><li><span>90 minutes</span></li><li><span>Portsmouth</span></li></ul> <span class='et-price'><span class='dollar-sign'>£</span>25<sup>00 *</sup></span></div></div> <a href='#Support_Group_Fees' class='join-button'><span>more...</span></a></div><div class='pricing-table'><div class='pricing-heading'><h2 class='pricing-title'>Skype</h2><p>Online Video Counselling</p></div><div class='pricing-content'><div class='pricing-tcontent'><ul class='pricing'><li><span>Individuals</span></li><li><span>Couples</span></li><li><span>Groups</span></li><li><span>Video Conference</span></li><li><span>Weekly</span></li><li><span>50 minutes</span></li><li><span>Your Computer</span></li></ul> <span class='et-price'><span class='dollar-sign'>£</span>-5<sup>00 **</sup></span></div></div> <a href='#Online_Counselling_Fees' class='join-button'><span>more...</span></a></div></div></div><div style="clear: both; width: 830px; margin: 0pt auto;"><em>NB1: each fee is &#8216;per session&#8217;.<br /> NB2: The session fee for couple counselling is per couple i.e. both partners are included in the session fee.</em></div><h3>*Standard Fee &amp; Sliding Scale.</h3><h2 style="display: none;">Making Use of my Fee Structure.</h2><p><strong></strong>Private counselling is not free.  For all of my counselling services I set a <em>standard fee</em> (the fee shown above).  This is the standard per-session fee that I recommend for each particular form of therapy service that I offer &amp; that you might be interested in.</p><p><strong>I am aware that some people cannot afford full-fee private therapy</strong> and they may have tried and found NHS therapies or charities to have been unsatisfactory for their needs.  For these people on a <em>limited</em> number of cases I can discuss with you a lower fee.</p><p><strong>So, it&#8217;s important that we can discuss &amp; agree a fee that you can responsibly afford.</strong> When you are on a restricted income, discussing a fee will involve you being able to talk openly with me about your income and expenses, and what expenses you might be prepared to give up for now (i.e. what are you prepared to lose, in return for me also losing a portion of my standard fee during our work together).  We would be discussing a fee that you could <em>responsibly afford</em>.</p><p>This negotiation isn&#8217;t intended to embarrass you, and most have found it helpful and, interestingly, therapeutic too &#8211; <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/fees/#Counselling_Fee_Sliding_Scale" title="Costs of Counselling &#038; Therapy" rel="bookmark">read more&#8230;</a></p><div class='one_third'><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow" style="padding: 8px; height: 300px; width: 260px;"><h3><a name="Couples_Counselling_Fees"></a>Negotiating a Fee for Couple Counselling.</h3><p><strong>Standard fee: £50.00</strong></p><p>The standard fee is for a couple where one or both partners are in full-time employment &#8230; or a couple who has an independent source of funds (such as health insurance).</p><p>For those couples who are on a restricted income that might make private counselling inaccessible, you are invited to discuss with me my <a href="#Counselling_Fee_Sliding_Scale">sliding scale.</a></p></div></div><div class='one_third'><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow" style="padding: 8px; height: 300px; width: 260px;"><h3><a name="Individual_Counselling_Fees"></a>Negotiating a Fee for Individual Counselling.</h3><p><strong>Standard fee: £45.00</strong></p><p>The standard fee is for an employed individual or one who has an independent source of funds (such as health insurance).</p><p>For those who are on a restricted income that might make private counselling inaccessible, you are invited to discuss with me my <a href="#Counselling_Fee_Sliding_Scale">sliding scale</a>.</p></div></div><div class='one_third last'><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow" style="padding: 8px; height: 300px; width: 260px;"><h3><a name="Support_Group_Fees"></a>Negotiating a Fee for Support/Therapy Groups.</h3><p><strong>Standard fee: £25.00</strong></p><p>The standard fee is for an employed individual or one who has an independent source of funds (such as health insurance).</p><p>For those individuals who are on a restricted income that might make private counselling inaccessible, you are invited to discuss with me my <a href="#Counselling_Fee_Sliding_Scale">sliding scale</a>.</p><p><strong>Note:</strong> the initial assessment session(s) before joining a group is charged at the Individual Counselling rate.</p></div></div><div class='clear'></div><p>&nbsp;</p><h3><a name="Online_Counselling_Fees"></a>About Online/Skype Video Counselling Fees.</h3><p><strong>**</strong> Online Video/Skype counselling is charged in the same way as the above &#8216;standard&#8217; fees, except I offer a £5.00 reduction due to there being no room-hire costs and no travel costs.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><h2><a name="Counselling_Fee_Sliding_Scale"></a>Negotiating Therapy Fees: Sliding Scale &amp; Concessions.</h2><p>A “sliding scale” is where a therapist may be able to reduce their fees on a case-by-case basis.  The aim here is to be able to discuss openly about your finances in order for us to find a fee that you can responsibly afford and which I can accept.  This is available on  a limited number of cases and you are invited to participate equally in this discussion with me.</p><p><div class='one_half'><div class='et-box et-iCBox' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h3>Individuals&#8217; Fees.</h3><p>If I am taking on additional cases where I can reduce the fee, <strong>our negotiated fee will be based upon your gross income deducting only your essential expenses</strong>. <strong></strong>If you are thinking about asking me to give up a proportion of my fee, you must also think about what non-essential expenses you&#8217;re prepared to give up for the length of our work.</p><p>To discuss a revised fee with me, firstly work out what could <em>you responsibly </em>afford to pay each week (e.g. take your gross income, deduct essential expenses and do not include any expenses that are a choice or a luxury (such as entertainment, social expenses, holidays etc.)).  Remember that counselling is an essential expense – not an optional luxury – and you must temporarily prioritise your other expenditure accordingly during the time of therapy.</p><p>After calculating what you can responsible afford to pay per session, bring this information to our first session to discuss.</p></div></div></div><div class='one_half last'><div class='et-box et-iCBox' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h3>Couple Counselling Fees.</h3><p>If I am taking on additional cases where I can reduce the fee, <strong><strong>our negotiated </strong>fee will be based upon your combined gross income deducting only your essential expenses.  </strong>You need to think about what non-essential expenses you&#8217;re prepared to give up for the length of our work, in return for me reducing my fee.</p><p><strong></strong> To discuss a revised fee with me, firstly work out what you can <em>responsibly</em> afford to pay each week (both of your incomes combined).  For example, take your gross income and deduct essential expenses from this figure (do not include any expenses that are a choice or a luxury (such as entertainment, social expenses, holidays etc.)).  Remember that counselling is a <em>temporary essential expense</em> – not an optional luxury – and if you are asking me to give up a proportion of my fee you must also think about what you are prepared to temporarily give up in order to negotiate a new therapy fee with me.</p><p>As part of the assessment for couple therapy, it will also be important for us to note <em>how you and your partner deal with money matters, </em>and we can talk in more detail about that after the fee has been agreed.</p><p>Whilst this may seem an involved process, negotiating a couple counselling fee with me during therapy can also be revealing &amp; helpful with respect to your relationship problems.</p><p>After calculating what you can responsible afford to pay per session, bring this information to our first session to discuss.</p></div></div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><h2>Deposits for First Session.</h2><p>When arranging an initial appointment with me, I will usually invite <strong>payment of a minimum deposit of £30</strong> (or 50% of your fee if your session fee is concessional).  This will usually be only for the first assessment session appointment.</p><p>Your deposit secures our first appointment together and is subtracted from your session fee, the remainder of which becomes due on the day of our appointment.  Your deposit is refundable minus a £15 administration fee if you cancel the appointment giving me more than 2 working days notice, otherwise the deposit is not refunded (e.g. by giving no notice for an absence).</p><h3>Paying your deposit.</h3><p>Methods of payment I accept for deposits are:-<div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Paying <a href="/payment/">online </a>(which incurs a small admin fee )</li><li>Sending a cheque made out to Dean Richardson – or postal order – to my <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/" title="Counselling Locations" rel="bookmark">Portsmouth address</a></li></ul></div></p><p><strong>Deposits need to be arranged before the session date in order to secure your appointment booking.<br /> </strong></p><h2>Cancellation Policy.</h2><p>Because I offer regular weekly counselling and reserve your appointment for you each week I cannot make the session available for anyone else without sufficient notice. Therefore, I operate a cancellation policy which I will discuss with you in full when we first meet.</p><p>A summary of which is:-<div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Sessions cancelled with two or fewer days notice <em>will be charged at the full fee.</em></li><li>Sessions cancelled with more than two days notice <em>will be charged at half the full fee.</em></li><li>The first five sessions missed due to a planned holiday will incur no fee. Note &#8211; a &#8216;planned&#8217; holiday is a vacation that has been planned in advance and does <em>not</em> include missing a session at the last minute.</li><li>There is no charge for sessions missed due to public/bank holidays, or when Dean cancels a session or is on vacation, or the building in which we meet is closed, or if Skype video conferencing software/network is not available.</li></ul></div></p><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/fees/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:27:59 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Assessment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[BACP]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Individuals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Group Therapy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Groups]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Skype]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Skype Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Therapeutic approach]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/</guid> <description><![CDATA[Private Portsmouth &#38; Southsea Counselling. Counselling with Dean Richardson. With over thirteen years&#8217; experience, Dean Richardson&#8217;s Hampshire private counselling practice, in Portsmouth &#38; Southsea, focuses on Individual&#8217;s Counselling, Couples Counselling and Support Groups.  His private therapy services are available to all individuals and couples from . What is Counselling? Counselling isn&#8217;t about telling someone how [...]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>Our business was in trouble because of the directors' working relationship. We dealt with our problems.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div><h2>Private Portsmouth &amp; Southsea Counselling.</h2><h3>Counselling with Dean Richardson.</h3><p>With over thirteen years&#8217; experience, Dean Richardson&#8217;s Hampshire private counselling practice, in Portsmouth &amp; Southsea, focuses on Individual&#8217;s Counselling, Couples Counselling and Support Groups.  His private therapy services are available to all individuals and couples from <span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5380' style=''><a href="/articles/tag/portsmouth/">Portsmouth</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/southsea/">Southsea</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/southampton/">Southampton</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/fareham/">Fareham</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/gosport/">Gosport</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/havant/">Havant</a> &amp; <a href="/articles/tag/hayling-island/">Hayling Island</a>, northwards to <a href="/articles/tag/petersfield/">Petersfield</a> and eastwards to <a href="/articles/tag/chichester/">Chichester</a></span>.</p><h3>What is Counselling?</h3><p>Counselling isn&#8217;t about telling someone how to get things right.  It&#8217;s a very specialised form of therapy that requires years of training and years of practice before the <a title="British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk" target="_blank">British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy</a> will accredit a practitioner.  As a qualified, accredited and experienced counsellor, Dean can help you to help yourself work through problems &#8211; whether deep or superficial &#8211; to the point where you don&#8217;t need to work with him any longer.</p><h3>Ethical Counselling.</h3><p>Within his therapy practice is an ethical approach to ensure you don&#8217;t become dependant on him or his therapeutic approach; allowing you to internalise the counselling process and even the therapeutic relationship itself so that you can leave counselling and carry on with your life less burdened than before.</p><h2>Why choose Dean Richardson as your Counsellor?</h2><p>Whilst it&#8217;s accurate to say that most therapists can work with most clients, it certainly is the relationship between client and counsellor that matters.</p><h3>A Helpful Initial Assessment Meeting.</h3><p>Dean offers a initial assessment session which covers:-</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;">(i) Taking some administration details (name, address, contact telephone etc)<br /> (ii) Talking through the ethics of counselling (how we will work together, what are the boundaries for our work, fees etc)<br /> (iii) Giving you the time to tell your story (with assistance from the counsellor).</p><p>During this time Dean is checking to see if he thinks you and he can work together.  Of course this is a mutual assessment (you are checking Dean and his way of working too) and by the end of the assessment a conversation will be in order about if carrying on with future sessions seems appropriate, discussing a referral to someone whose specialities may suit you better, or ending therapy there.</p><h2>Counselling Services.</h2><p style="clear: right;"><div class='et-tabs-container' id='et-tabs-container152'><ul class='et-tabs-control'><li><a href='#'> Couples Counselling </a></li><li><a href='#'> Individuals Counselling </a></li><li><a href='#'> Support Groups </a></li><li><a href='#'> Skype Counselling </a></li></ul><div class='et-tabs-content'><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Couples Counselling.</h3><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/couples-therapy1-58929_100x100.jpg' alt='\'Couples Therapy\' by Grace Weston Photography' title='\'Couples Therapy\' by Grace Weston Photography' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>'Couples Therapy' &copy; <a href='http://www.graceweston.com/' target='_blank'>Grace Weston Photography</a></div></div><div><p>When a couple relationships suffer conflicts &amp; breakdowns and partners wish to engage a professional to help them understand what may be going on, couples may prefer to work with someone who remains neutral, doesn&#8217;t side with one partner or the other, and assists the partners in supporting them discover their own resolutions to their relationship problems.</p><p>Couples choose counselling due to experiencing a negative recent event, or one from years ago, infidelity, mistrust, life stages, birth, ageing, death, wishing to separate and so on. Some relationships struggle to manage certain conflicts.</p><p>In aiming to help the couple help themselves in understanding what’s going on in their relationship, the couple can teach themselves  to become unstuck and move through relationship problems. With new information a couple can notices differences and use these to make changes (by themselves) for the better.</p></div> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/couple_relationship_therapy/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Individual&#8217;s Counselling.</h3><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/4517635821_4807194b76_z1-102808_100x100.jpg' alt='Counselling and Support' title='Counselling and Support' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>'Pieta House Press Pack' &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/joehoughton/' target='_blank'>Joe Houghton</a></div></div><p>All sorts of  individuals come to counselling for all sorts of reasons.  Those experiencing a negative recent event, or one from years ago, unexplained behaviour, infidelity, mistrust, life stages, relationships, aging, death … they all have an impact on an individual’s life &#8211; and counselling is there when you have temporarily lost your ability to manage on your own.</p><p>The counsellor does not impose a procedure, nor offer excrcises that if the client follows to the letter will discover that they are cured.  Instead, the therapist and client engage in discussing the problems whilst, at the same time, a therapeutic relationship builds between then.  This trusting, professional relationship can become the basis for the counselling work &#8211; using examples in the here and now (what&#8217;s happening between therapists and client) to help both understand the difficulties <em>in real time.</em> Working through problems in the present is an effective way of addressing problems from the past because &#8230; obvious as it may seem &#8230; we cannot change the past no matter how hard we try.</p> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/individual_therapy/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Support Groups.</h3><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/4700395388_ff8ab009a4_z1-289894_100x100.jpg' alt='4700395388_ff8ab009a4_z[1]' title='4700395388_ff8ab009a4_z[1]' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>'Crop Circle' &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/dollarside/' target='_blank'>.thana/Flickr</a></div></div>Sometimes, joining a therapeutic support group can help the LGBT individual recognise that they&#8217;re not struggling with their problems alone.</p><p>Groups not only discuss problems similar to each group member, but can also discuss &#8220;non-problems&#8221; (i.e. by the group discussing matters that are not the individual&#8217;s problem, the group can helpfully demonstrate life-management skills that are different to an individual&#8217;s personal difficulties).</p><p>Groups can be homogeneous (all members share similar personal-problems) or heterogeneous (members exhibit different problems), a closed group (the group starts with the same members that it finishes with) or open (the group allows new members to join and others to life during the life of the group).</p><p>Dean Richardson&#8217;s support groups are created &#8220;On Demand&#8221; &#8211; a between 6 and 8 participants are required for a new group to commence. If you&#8217;re interested in joining a group, contact Dean to discuss what&#8217;s currently scheduled.</p> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/therapy_groups/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div><div class='et_slidecontent'><h3>Skype Counselling .</h3><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:117px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/Image-Skype-43294_100x100.jpg' alt='Bon Anniversaire' title='Bon Anniversaire' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:100px; height:100px;' /><div id='description'>"Bon Anniversaire" &copy; <a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/globalx/'>Global X</a></div></div>Sometimes you find your ideal counsellor &#8230; and he works 100s of miles away from you. Fortunately, you can access Dean Richardson&#8217;s counselling services from your camera-enabled computer or Smartphone.</p><p>Simply install the free Skype software, and you can engage in counselling sessions with Dean using video conferencing.</p><p>Couples who are in a distance-relationship can also make use of Skype Couples Counselling &#8211; as Dean supports group conferencing (both of you &#8211; along with Dean &#8211; using Skype simultaneously with everyone seeing the other two people on their screen).</p><p>What&#8217;s Skype counselling like? Initially some people find video conferencing a little unusual, but a handy tip is that if you maximise the video window, looking at the computer feels like the person is in the room as you.</p><p>Want to work with Dean, but are unable to get to his Portsmouth location? Consider Skype Counselling.</p> <a href='http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/' class='small-button smalllightblue'><span>Click to learn more&#8230;</span></a></div></div></div> <script type='text/javascript'>function iCETShortcodesSwitcher(){jQuery('#et-tabs-container152 .et-tabs-content').et_shortcodes_switcher({slidePadding:'20px 25px 8px',linksNav:'#et-tabs-container152 .et-tabs-control li a',findParent:true,fx:'fade',auto:false,autoSpeed:'5000'});}
iCLoadList.push(iCETShortcodesSwitcher);</script></p><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>Counselling Locations</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 04 Sep 2011 16:08:20 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/?page_id=2805</guid> <description><![CDATA[<div style='line-height:1.4em;'>Dean Richardson's private counselling services are available in the following locations: [custom_list]<ul><li><strong>Portsmouth &#38; Southsea:</strong><div style='font-size:smaller; line-height:1.3em;'>The Marple Cross Centre, Osborne Road, Portsmouth, PO5 3LB.</div></li><li><strong>Skype:</strong> Internet video.</li></ul>[/custom_list]<div style='font-size:8.5pt;line-height:1.2em;'>Counselling services not limited to <a href='/articles/tag/portsmouth/'>Portsmouth</a> residents, anyone from <a href='/articles/tag/southampton/'>Southampton</a>, <a href='/articles/tag/fareham/'>Fareham</a>, <a href='/articles/tag/gosport/'>Gosport</a>, <a href='/articles/tag/havant/'>Havant</a> &#38; <a href='/articles/tag/hayling-island/'>Hayling Island</a>, northwards to <a href='/articles/tag/petersfield/'>Petersfield</a> and eastwards to <a href='/articles/tag/chichester/'>Chichester</a> can work with Dean&#8230;</div></div>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="width: 340px; float: right;"><div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>Our business was in trouble because of the directors' working relationship. We dealt with our problems.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div></div><h2>Finding Dean Richardson for Private Counselling in Hampshire.</h2><p><img style="float: right; margin-left: 8px;" title="Counselling in Portsmouth, Hampshire giving easy wheelchair access" src="/files/2011/09/Disabled-Access1.gif" alt="Wheelchair Access" width="33" height="32" /><strong>Practice Address:</strong> The Marple Cross Centre, Albemarle House, Osborne Road, Southsea, PO5 3LB (<a title="Google Map for Dean Richardson, Counsellor, Southsea, Hampshire, PO5 3LB" href="http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=Dean+Richardson+Counsellor+Southsea&amp;hl=en&amp;sll=50.78559,-1.093183&amp;sspn=0.010921,0.022423&amp;vpsrc=0&amp;hq=Dean+Richardson+Counsellor&amp;hnear=Southsea,+Portsmouth,+United+Kingdom&amp;t=m&amp;z=14" target="_blank">map</a>).</p><p><strong>About the location:</strong> The Marple Cross Centre is a light, airy and pleasant location. We have a reception area where you will be greeted (usually a bowl of sweets is on offer to pick from) and we have magazines, a radio, and fish to keep you occupied if you&#8217;re waiting for your appointment. The Marple Cross Centre is a ground floor location which has easy wheelchair access via a ramp and wheelchair-compatible toilets.</p><div class="articleimage" style="width: 239px; height: 164px;"><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/files/2012/01/iCounsellor-Catchment-Area.png"><img class=" wp-image-5356" title="iCounsellor.co.uk - Counselling Catchment Area include Portsmouth, Southampton, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Hayling Island, Petersfield and Chichester..." src="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/files/2012/01/iCounsellor-Catchment-Area-300x190.png" alt="Counselling for Portsmouth, Southampton, Gosport, Fareham, Havant, Hayling Island, Petersfield to Chichester." width="239" height="164" /></a><span id="caption">Southampton to Chichester, Petersfied to Portsmouth (© <a href="http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=Dean+Richardson+Counsellor+Southsea&amp;hl=en&amp;sll=50.78559,-1.093183&amp;sspn=0.010921,0.022423&amp;vpsrc=0&amp;hq=Dean+Richardson+Counsellor&amp;hnear=Southsea,+Portsmouth,+United+Kingdom&amp;t=m&amp;z=14" target="_blank">Google Maps</a>)</span></div><p><strong>Areas Covered:</strong> Anyone from <span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5380' style=''><a href="/articles/tag/portsmouth/">Portsmouth</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/southsea/">Southsea</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/southampton/">Southampton</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/fareham/">Fareham</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/gosport/">Gosport</a>, <a href="/articles/tag/havant/">Havant</a> &amp; <a href="/articles/tag/hayling-island/">Hayling Island</a>, northwards to <a href="/articles/tag/petersfield/">Petersfield</a> and eastwards to <a href="/articles/tag/chichester/">Chichester</a></span>. Counselling services for Hampshire and West Sussex.</p><p><strong>On your arrival:</strong> You will be invited to sign in.  This is for Health &amp; Safety (e.g. fire safety) and, if you prefer, you can sign-in using a pseudonym.  Take a seat, read a newspaper, feed the fish.  Dean Richardson will come to collect you from reception at the time of your appointment and take you to his consultation room.</p><p><strong>When you leave:</strong> Please sign out of the book.</p><h3>Advice on Travelling to Portsmouth &amp; Southsea.</h3><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Buses:</strong> See Portsmouth Bus Service routes planner:- <a title="Portsmouth Bus Routes" href="http://www.portsmouth.gov.uk/living/592.html" target="_blank">http://www.portsmouth.gov.uk/living/592.html</a></p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Railway:</strong> Nearest railway stations are: &#8220;Portsmouth Harbour&#8221; (<a href="http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=d&amp;source=s_d&amp;saddr=United+Kingdom+(Portsmouth+Harbour+Rail+Station)&amp;daddr=Albemarle+House,+Osborne+Rd,+Southsea,+Portsmouth+PO5+3LB,+UK&amp;hl=en&amp;geocode=FZYZBwMdgBjv_yEp3HaPAE9Szg%3BFRDtBgMd1lHv_ynb924vkV10SDFVesOW_Fc4sA&amp;mra=pd&amp;mrcr=0&amp;sll=50.791971,-1.092339&amp;sspn=0.037708,0.088234&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;ll=50.791722,-1.100435&amp;spn=0.018854,0.044117&amp;z=15" target="_blank">click for directions</a>) and &#8220;Portsmouth &amp; Southsea&#8221; (<a href="http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=d&amp;source=s_d&amp;saddr=Portsmouth+and+Southsea+railway+station&amp;daddr=Albemarle+House,+Osborne+Rd,+Southsea,+Portsmouth+PO5+3LB,+UK&amp;hl=en&amp;geocode=FZAfBwMdolrv_ynnTKIlnl10SDHt1E9tQnke9A%3BFRDtBgMd1lHv_ynb924vkV10SDFVesOW_Fc4sA&amp;mra=ls&amp;sll=50.791722,-1.100435&amp;sspn=0.018854,0.044117&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;ll=50.791857,-1.093225&amp;spn=0.018854,0.044117&amp;z=15" target="_blank">click for directions</a>).</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Both stations are an approximate 20 minutes&#8217; walk to The Marple Cross centre.<br /> </em></p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Hovercraft:</strong> Five minutes walk from Southsea Hoverport &#8211; suitable for Isle of Wight visitors.<em> </em></p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Car Parking:</strong> Convenient parking (up to three hours free-of-charge along one of the streets parallel to The Marple Cross Centre (Nightingale Road, etc)) or a parking meter on the road, or one of the car parks near the building.  Approximately £1.20 for one hour&#8217;s parking fee.</p><p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Walking:</strong> Short walking distance from Southsea Hovercraft (i.e. Isle of Wight) and The Hard/Gosport Ferry.</p><div class="et-box et-shadow" style="clear: right;"><p><iframe style="margin: 6px 0pt 0pt 8px;" src="http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&amp;source=s_q&amp;hl=en&amp;geocode=&amp;q=Dean+Richardson,+iCounsellor,+Portsmouth&amp;aq=&amp;sll=50.883386,-1.025319&amp;sspn=0.010329,0.022423&amp;vpsrc=6&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;hq=Dean+Richardson,+iCounsellor,&amp;hnear=Portsmouth,+United+Kingdom&amp;t=m&amp;ll=50.793892,-1.093311&amp;spn=0.021702,0.040855&amp;z=14&amp;iwloc=A&amp;output=embed" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="910" height="400"></iframe></p><div style="text-align: center;"><small><a style="color: #0000ff;" href="http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&amp;source=embed&amp;hl=en&amp;geocode=&amp;q=Dean+Richardson,+iCounsellor,+Portsmouth&amp;aq=&amp;sll=50.883386,-1.025319&amp;sspn=0.010329,0.022423&amp;vpsrc=6&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;hq=Dean+Richardson,+iCounsellor,&amp;hnear=Portsmouth,+United+Kingdom&amp;t=m&amp;ll=50.793892,-1.093311&amp;spn=0.021702,0.040855&amp;z=14&amp;iwloc=A">View Larger Map</a></small></div></div><div class='page-nav clearfix'><p id="linkpages"><strong>Pages:</strong> <span class="nobox"><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/2/"></a></span> &nbsp;1&nbsp; <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/2/">&nbsp;2&nbsp;</a><span class="nobox"><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/2/"> Next&gt;</a></span></p></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>LGBT Couples Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt_couples_counselling/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt_couples_counselling/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 11 Sep 2011 10:41:52 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Bisexual]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Domestic Violence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay Male Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lesbian]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lesbian Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[LGBT]]></category> <category><![CDATA[LGBT Couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mixed Orientation Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Questioning]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationship counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationship problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Therapy]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/?page_id=2667</guid> <description><![CDATA[LGBT Couple Counselling specifically for gay, lesbian or mixed-sexuality/gender-identified couple's needs.  LGBT couples deserve their own form of couple counselling that meets the needs of our particular kinds of relationships. Dean Richardson, [iCDecision func='IsGay']as a gay, professional LGBT[/iCDecision][iCDecision func='IsGay' not=1]as a professional LGBT-specialist[/iCDecision] counsellor works with LGBT relationships in therapy by Skype or in person in his Portsmouth consultation rooms.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>I'd tried talking to another counsellor, but she seemed to be uncomfortably when I talked about sex with my boyfriend.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div></div><h2>Couple Counselling for Gay/Lesbian Relationships (Hampshire &amp; Skype).</h2><p><em><strong>What if curiosity could take your relationship somewhere better?</strong></em></p><p>Lesbian, gay, transgender &amp; bisexual couples may seek counselling from a  LGBT-specialist couple counsellor for many reason. Not least to seek a sense of assurance that the counsellor  understands, has experience with the psychology of, and empathises with LGBT social, sexual &amp; community conduct.  These qualities of the LGBT couples counsellor are sought to convey a sense of understanding to the couple that is sometimes not experienced from a general or inexperienced counsellor.</p><p><strong><strong><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/" title="About Dean Richardson" rel="bookmark">Dean Richardson MBACP(accred), UKRCP Reg</a></strong> is your choice for LGBT Couple Counselling &#8211; in <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/" title="Counselling Locations" rel="bookmark">Hampshire</a> (UK) and via <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/" title="Choose Skype Counselling" rel="bookmark">Skype</a>.</strong></p><h3>Separating? / Reconciling?</h3><p>It&#8217;s a myth to think that couple counselling is <em>only</em> aimed at keeping a couple to stay together.  <span class='et-tooltip'>Systemic<span class='et-tooltip-box'><b>Systemic</b> therapy is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate and platonic relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members.<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy</a><span class='et-tooltip-arrow'></span></span></span> couple counselling offers couples a way to work with what the <em>couple </em>want from therapy; this may include helping the couple to separate (as amiable &amp; responsibly as the couple wish), or finding ways for the relationship to be repaired &amp; to continue; to deal with issues of sexuality, sex, open- (or closed) relationships, S&amp;M/BDSM, family issues, thinking about a baby (or not) and many, many more LGBT-specific and generally common-to-all-couples relationship issues.</p><h2>Why choose Dean for Couple Counselling?</h2><p>A significant number of LGBT couples in Hampshire, <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/" title="Counselling Locations" rel="bookmark">(Portsmouth)</a> and on <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/" title="Choose Skype Counselling" rel="bookmark"> Skype video</a> choose to work with Dean as an <strong>LGBT Specialist Couple Counsellor</strong> for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender &amp; mixed-orientation/mixed-gender relationships-in-conflict.</p><h3>Dean&#8217;s Qualities as a Professional LGBT Therapist.</h3><div class='et-custom-list'></p><ul><li>Practising since 1999.</li><li>Fully qualified therapist.</li><li>Post-Grad Diploma in Systemic/ <span class='et-tooltip'>Psychodynamic<span class='et-tooltip-box'><b>Psychodynamics</b> is the theory and systematic study of the psychological forces that underlie human behavior, especially the dynamic relations between conscious motivation and unconscious motivation.<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamics" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamics</a><span class='et-tooltip-arrow'></span></span></span> Couple Counselling  (2009).</li><li>Accredited member of the British Association for Counselling &amp; Psychotherapy.</li><li>UK Registered Independent counsellor/psychotherapist (UKRCP Reg).</li><li>Studies LGBT couple counselling with gay &amp; lesbian relationships &amp; therapeutic approaches as a speciality.</li></ul><p></p></div><h2>What do we mean by &#8220;LGBT Couple&#8221;?</h2><p>An LGBT couple is two people involved in an intimate relationship who are either of the same gender &amp; sexual orientation (e.g. gay male, lesbian female) or who are of mixed sexual orientation and/or gender (such as a straight cis female &amp; gay male, a transgendered M-F and a straight male, a transgendered F-M and a gay male etc.) and other combinations of gender and sexuality.</p><h2>Deciding if LGBT Couple Counselling is for you.</h2><p>Do any of these situations seem familiar?</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>A sense that the reasons for staying in the relationship have become lost (to one or both of you).</li><li>Repeating patterns of unhappy behaviour that neither of you can shift.</li><li>You relate like siblings now, instead of lovers like you used to.</li><li>You want to&#8230; and your partner doesn&#8217;t&#8230;</li><li>Sexual problems: physical or emotional.</li><li>Intimacy problems (different from sexual problems).</li><li>Violence or abuse in the relationship (ranging from feeling bullied to physical and emotional abuse).</li><li>One of you, or both of you, have acted outside the relationship&#8217;s understanding (eg affairs, open-relationships, social etc).</li><li>Experimentation in BDSM, S&amp;M, Open Relationships not going to plan &#8230; or haven&#8217;t been planned at all.</li></ul></div><h2>How LGBT Couple Counselling can help.</h2><p>Sometimes couples can find their relationship behaviour has gotten stuck in unsatisfactory or unhappy patterns.  Couples who cannot get themselves out of these patterns may find psychodynamic &amp; systemic couples counselling suitable in helping shift the &#8220;unstuckedness&#8221;.</p><p><div style='' class='et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow iCSideComment'><div>Some couple counsellors will gladly work with LGBT couples. <strong>Dean Richardson is  an LGBT Couples Counsellor</strong>. Spot the difference?</div></div>It&#8217;s a common misunderstanding that people think couples counselling is aimed at making couples stay together.  The couples therapist actually follows what the couple wishes from their therapy; meaning that if the couple wish to work to stay together then the counselling will help the couple to figure that out how that gets done.  Conversely, if the couple wishes to separate then counselling will help the couple to figure out how they want separate. A couple who is undecided / in disagreement can use the couples counselling process to assist them in figuring out a compromise of what they both might wish to do.</p><p>The couple doesn&#8217;t have to know <em>how</em> they&#8217;ll achieve what they want (very often the couple think that they&#8217;ve tried everything) &#8211; the couples therapist has the skills to help with this.</p><h2>What&#8217;s Involved in LGBT Couple Counselling.</h2><div class='one_third'><div class='et-testimonial-box'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'> <span id='TestimonialText'>…the therapist does not impose normative (or other) views about couple functioning in general, nor about the specific solutions that might be acceptable to this couple in particular. Instead the therapist maintains a stance of open-minded curiosity […] which leads to an exploration with the couple of the history and meanings of their current situation and of their previous attempted solutions and impasses.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'>Jones &amp; Asen, 2000</span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div></div><p>Initially, the couple meet with Dean Richardson for an assessment for couples counselling.  This usually takes four sessions:-</p><ul><li><strong>Session 1:</strong> all three of us meet to discuss an overview of what is needed from counselling.</li><li><strong>Session 2:</strong> one partner meets with Dean separately.  This is to discuss their perspective on the couple relationship, and to discuss some personal history.</li><li><strong>Session 3:</strong> the other partner meets with Dean separately as in session 2.</li><li><strong>Session 4:</strong> all three of us meet again to discuss what we have learned in the previous sessions, and to begin to set a focus about what the couple counselling should address.</li></ul><p>Subsequent sessions are lead by the couple, with the therapist offering observations and therapeutic hypotheses on the relationship to help both partners learn what might be going on.  With new information the couple can make informed choices.</p><p>A main intention is to help disturb the  relationship’s unhappy behaviour patterns by being curious and interested on the relationship system (what the relationship is doing), learning &amp; finding new information and allowing inspiration to address what we are learning plus being creative with solutions that the couple will come up with themselves.</p><p>The process encourages more space for thought and inspiration &#8211; allowing the couple&#8217;s relationship to become unstuck again.</p> <span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5557' style=''><a name="Couple_Counselling_along_with_Individual_Counselling"></a><h2>Couple Counselling simultaneously with Individual Counselling.</h2> Whilst it is not recommended that an individual be in therapy with multiple-therapists at the same time, a couple may be in couple counselling at the same time that one or both partners are in individual counselling.The main reason why this is acceptable is because systemic/psychodynamic couple counselling focusses upon the couple's <em>relationship</em> whereas individual therapy focuses on the individual.There is one important boundary, though, and that is the individuals must be in individual therapy with a therapist who is <em>not </em>the couple's therapist.  The couple's therapist will have no contact with the individual therapists (the relationship work remains protected) and whilst the individual(s) may speak about the couple therapy in their own therapy, they can only ever present their unique point of view (not their partner's), so the individual therapy remains focussed on the individual.Any matters effecting an individual that are brought out within the couple work can be looked at by the individual in their own counselling.<h3>Individual Counselling within Couple Counselling.</h3> Assuming that both partners are <em>not</em> in individual therapy, it is not unusual for couple work to focus upon an individual from time to time. This is a unique form of individual work because the individual's partner will be present for all the sessions (who may comment or listen through the session).This is individual counselling in the context of the couple's relationship, is often an important intervention during couple work, and is not offered as a substitute for individual counselling.</span><p>&nbsp;</p><h2>Responsibilities in Couples Counselling.</h2><div class='one_half'><h3>What is expected of the Therapist?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5396' style='line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Ensuring the safety of both the therapist and couple (eg a quiet, confidential room that will not be disturbed, that the session time begins and ends on time).</li><li>To take an ethical stance on all matters, to follow the <a title="BACP Ethical Framework" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">BACP's Ethical Framework</a>, and to ensure his best practice for the client at all times.</li><li>To ensure that the couple can discuss their relationship in safety - albeit not necessarily always in comfort (i.e. discussing subjects that the couple have not discussed in front of each other before can be uncomfortable to begin with) - but ensuring the couple can stop at any time they wish to.</li><li>To listen without communicating judgement or prejudice and to not take sides with one partner or the other (the <em>relationship</em> is the therapist's client, rather the two individuals).</li><li>To assist the couple in perturbing the conflicting relationship patterns through use of curiosity, new knowledge, and a disturbance of current unsatisfactory behaviours ... initially on his own but being active in inviting the couple to participate at their own comfort level,</li><li>To try and use the couple's own language to discuss matters where possible (e.g. if one partner doesn't speak in 'emotions' and the other does, to assist the relationship in negotiating a common-enough language so that what is being spoken of can be understood).</li><li>To recognise and work with social, sexual, ability and cultural differences (that the therapist is not giving advice from his position ("What I would do is..."), but is being effective in helping the couple find their own resolutions and/or management of problems).</li><li>To not meet with one partner without the express knowledge and permission of the other partner - and to not engage in individual therapy with either partner whilst the couple's therapy contract with the therapist is in effect.</li><li>To be earnest on assisting the couple out of therapy either when they are ready to leave, or by helping them recognise that what they initially came into address has been so addressed (i.e. not keeping a couple in therapy beyond a legitimate need &amp; not ousting a couple before they are ready to leave).</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='one_half last'><h3>What is expected of the Couple?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5394' style='line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Initially, the couple needs simply to being willing to give the therapy a try - even if sceptical or unsure of the therapist's approach.</li><li>To be aware that couple counselling cannot help with a conflicting agenda, but if the couple wish the counselling can help the couple negotiate a mutual agenda for the therapy.</li><li>To bear in mind that couple counselling is not <em>done</em> to them as a couple, that they will not be <em>cured</em> by the therapist's approach alone. They are both active participants in the therapy (albeit this may not be possible at the start - and sometimes not during - due to emotional states).</li><li>To be willing to embrace the idea that they will be invited to be creative &amp; inspired towards other approaches in their relationships and to open to hypothesise about what's happening in their relationship ... and that the therapist will assist them in this process until they can do it alone.</li><li>To ensuring that they tell the truth in all matters but also to be aware that either partner can decline to discuss anything uncomfortable.</li><li>To take responsibility for bringing up concerns or dissatisfaction about the therapist with the therapist (e.g. the therapist's conduct, something he said, something he does etc.). All therapists appreciate that this may take courage ... but as the therapist has the best of intentions, and whilst his experience may often tip him off to the couple being disturbed by something he does or says, he may not always be aware of any deep or hidden irritation.</li><li>When the couple agree an exercise between sessions is appropriate, to be willing to find the time to address the exercise, or be willing to discuss matters if the exercise was not completed (or, say, not completed to the couple's satisfaction).</li><li>Be willing to bring up ending counselling when the couple feels that time is approaching.</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><h2>Care when perturbing relationships.</h2><p><div class='one_third'><div class='et-testimonial-box'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'> <span id='TestimonialText'>&#8230;the thing that&#8217;s driving you crazy might be the thing that&#8217;s keeping your partner sane.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'>Unknown</span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div></div> Systemic couple relationship counselling consists of &#8211; amongst other things &#8211; perturbing the unsatisfactory relationship system sufficiently to allow for knew knowledge, inspiration and change. However, the system that the couple brings to therapy is the one that the couple have created themselves. They may not be aware of their involvement in the creation, or why. The way the relationship is working is doing so for very good reasons, even though the couple may not be aware of their own involvement.</p><p>Sometimes, couples <em>don&#8217;t</em> communicate for very good reasons. Their non-communication can have purpose &#8211; whether it may be to protect the relationship, protect feelings, or is a way of avoiding further conflict. When couple therapy begins to stick its nose into the relationship, more unhappiness can be brought out than before the therapy began. The couple&#8217;s relationship can feel worse before it can feel better.</p><h2 style="clear: left;">Why Separating Couples use Counselling to Break-Up.</h2><p>During the initial years, a couple&#8217;s relationship will go through a process of joining and blending.  When one partner decides that they wish to leave the relationship, the separation can be experienced as terribly painful.</p><p>The relationship may have introduced assets &#8211; children, pets, possessions, property; the couple will have to decide how to manage the division of what the relationship has created.</p><p>In couple counselling,<strong> the couple can find a safe, secure place in which to discuss how the relationship divides</strong> the assets, and discuss the responsibilities of managing children and pets.</p><h2>Does LGBT Couple Counselling Work?</h2><p>An important question might be: &#8220;Will couple counselling work for me and my partner?&#8221;</p><p>I&#8217;m wring from a systemic &amp; psychodynamic point of view to couple counselling.  A relationship gets into trouble because of what the partners are both contributing to the relationship-conflicts.  It may seem that <em>just one</em> partner is doing all the trouble-making, but I would also suggest to you that it takes two partners&#8217; combined behaviour (whether conscious or unconscious) to bring a relationship onto conflict.</p><p><strong>There has to be reasons for the conflict to occur &#8211; even if the reasons are not understood. </strong></p><p>Couple counselling aims to help the partners perturb the conflict (actively get on the way of stuff going wrong, so that they can introduce stuff going right).  This can have an important consequence: <strong>whatever the reasons for the conflict being introduced will also be effected by the conflict being removed</strong>.</p><p><div class='one_half'><div class='et-box et-iCBox'  style='height:340px'><div class='et-box-content'  style='height:340px'><h3>The thing that&#8217;s driving you crazy, may be the thing that keeps your partner sane.</h3><p>Couple counselling can be a friendly, socially-respectful process. I don&#8217;t want to give the impression that the therapist will wield a huge blade, cutting away conflicts and disturbances. This is not surgery.</p><p>At the same time, the couple are being helped by the therapist to &#8211; metaphorically &#8211; diagnose where the injuries lay and are being helped to discover for themselves treatment that the couple believe may help treat the injuries.</p><p>From the therapist&#8217;s position, he is actively learning about how the relationship works (even when it is unhappy) to help the couple discover matters which they are blind to (or cannot talk about to each other). With the couple&#8217;s position, he may actively assist in perturbing the conflicts too.</p></div></div></div><div class='one_half last'><div class='et-box et-iCBox'  style='height:340px'><div class='et-box-content'  style='height:340px'><h3>Seriously &#8211; does it work?</h3><p>If you and your partner believe you may have the courage and a strong desire to address the problems that undoing the unhappy behaviour may reveal&#8230; if you and your partner might be able to support each other during the therapy, and both of you can contribute (or try, and then get used to contributing) new ideas &amp; inspiration for changing relationship behaviours&#8230; then yes, <strong>couple counselling works well</strong> &#8211; <em>regardless of the couple wanting to reconcile or separate.</em></p><p>If, however, the relationship behaviours may be protecting matters that cannot be addressed (at least, cannot be addressed yet&#8230;), or you and your partner are not very interested in discovering newer ways to relate and a desire to address the unhappy behaviours (and some relationships manage just fine in this way) &#8230; then couple counselling may not be for you together. In which case, <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/" title="LGBT Personal Counselling" rel="bookmark">individual counselling</a> might be of help.</p></div></div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><p>It&#8217;s perfectly legitimate to begin couple counselling without knowing if it will be successful or not.  The process is an investment in your relationship, and like any investment: what you get back may be more &#8211; or less &#8211; than you had hoped for.  But, unlike investing in a third-party (like stocks and shares) you&#8217;re investing in your relationship &#8230; something that you and your partner have an influence upon &#8230; <strong>and by involving an experienced couple counsellor you are not doing this alone</strong>.</p><h2>What LGBT Couple Counselling isn&#8217;t suitable for.</h2><div class='et-custom-list etlist-x'><div style="float: right; width: 260px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; font-size: 9pt;"><div class='et-box et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 style="margin: 0pt; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;">Long Distance Relationships.</h2><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:69px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/Skype-S-4669_52x52.jpg' alt='Skype-S' title='Skype-S' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:52px; height:52px;' /><div id='description'>Skype logo &copy <a href='http://skype.com' target='_blank'>Skype</a></div></div><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 1.4em;">LGBT couples who are separated by distance but who still need couple counselling, or are a long distance from Dean Richardson&#8217;s Portsmouth consulting rooms, may find Dean&#8217;s <strong>Skype LGBT Couple Counselling </strong>service useful (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/video-counselling-for-couples/" title="Video Counselling for Couples" rel="bookmark">read more…</a>)</span></div></div></div><ul><li>The couple do not identify themselves as LGBT &#8211; thus this form of therapy is not required.</li><li>A couple who have separate mutually-exclusive agendas cannot be helped by this process (albeit the couple may wish to discuss their separate agendas with a view to finding a common goal).</li><li>Families &#8211; couple counselling is not family therapy (ie groups of more than two people).</li><li>Adults who wish someone to change their partner to their satisfaction.  Couple counselling is a mutual process that will involve both partners.</li><li>Domestic Violence &#8211; unless both couples wish to change the violent relationship.</li><li>One partner coming to help the other / has nothing to contribute to the work &#8211; couple counselling involves both partners.</li><li>One partner was not informed about the other partner&#8217;s desire to come to couple counselling &#8211; both partners have to wish to take part in the process.</li></ul></div><h2>What do to next&#8230;</h2><p>If both you and your partner are interested in potentially receiving LGBT couples counselling (systemic/psychodynamic model), contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.</p> <a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson...</span></span></a><br class="clear"/><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt_couples_counselling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>LGBT Personal Counselling</title><link>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/</link> <comments>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:32:30 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>Dean Richardson</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Assessment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Bisexual]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Brief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chichester]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling for Individuals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[emotions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fareham]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gay]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Gosport]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hampshire Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Havant]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hayling Island]]></category> <category><![CDATA[individuals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lesbian]]></category> <category><![CDATA[LGBT]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Petersfield]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Portsmouth Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Questioning]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationship problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Sexuality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southampton]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Southsea Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Therapy]]></category><guid isPermaLink="false">http://icounsellor.cybershrink.co.uk/?page_id=3030</guid> <description><![CDATA[LGBT Individual's Personal Counselling for LGBT clients who choose to work specifically with Dean Richardson. Dean, [iCDecision func='IsGay']as a gay, professional LGBT[/iCDecision][iCDecision func='IsGay' not=1]as a professional LGBT-specialist[/iCDecision] counsellor, offers counselling specifically for gay &#038; lesbian individuals,and trans-gendered, trans-vestite &#038; bisexual people's needs.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><div class='et-testimonial-box iCTestimonial'><div class='et-testimonial-content'><div class='et-testimonial clearfix'><div class='t-img'> <img src='/files/2011/09/users_ex57.png' alt='' style='width:57px;height:57px;'/> <span class='t-overlay'></span></div> <span id='TestimonialText'>I worked with Dean because [as a lesbian] talking about sex didn't make him uncomfortable - like it did to my last counsellor.</span><div class='t-info'> <span class='t-position'><a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson</span></span></a></span></div></div></div><div class='t-bottom-arrow'></div><div class='t-bottom-shadow'></div></div><div class='et-box iCPageTOC et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h2 class='toc'>Contents</h2></div></div><div class="et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow"><iframe src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FiCounsellor.co.uk&amp;width=260&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;show_faces=true&amp;connections=8&amp;border_color=white&amp;stream=false&amp;header=false&amp;height=290" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:260px; height:290px; margin:5px 0 5px 25px;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe></div></div><h2>Private Individual Counselling for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual &amp; Transgender</h2><h3>Dean Richardson MBACP (Accred), UKRCP Reg &#8211; LGBT Specialist &#8211; Hampshire &amp; Skype.</h3><p><strong><strong>What if a single idea could transform your life?</strong></strong></p><p>LGBT individuals counselling is ideal for any Hampshire (or Skype)  individual gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning person.  It&#8217;s for when you want to deal with issues like anxiety, depression, phobias, confidence, work issues, relationship problems, &#8220;coming-out&#8221; (or not), being unsure of your sexuality, and many more issues. like that.</p><p>Whilst it&#8217;s true that any gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or questioning individual could form a good working relationship with any counsellor, LGBT individuals sometimes seek a therapist who identifies themselves as a member of their own LGBT community. Dean Richardson is  a therapist who focuses on the needs of LGBT clients in therapy working with the particular needs of LGBT individual clients.</p><p><strong><a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/dean-richardson-counsellor/" title="About Dean Richardson" rel="bookmark">Dean Richardson</a></strong> &#8211; is your choice for <strong>Specialist LGBT Counselling</strong> in Hampshire (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/about/counselling-locations/" title="Counselling Locations" rel="bookmark">Portsmouth</a>) and on <a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/" title="Choose Skype Counselling" rel="bookmark">Skype video</a>.</p><h2>Why choose Dean for Individual Counselling?</h2><div class='et-custom-list'></p><ul><li>Practising since 1999.</li><li>Fully qualified &amp; accredited by the British Association for Counselling &amp; Psychotherapy.</li><li>Diploma in Psychodynamic individuals&#8217; counselling (2003).</li><li>Integrates a Cognitive Behavioural Approach (CBA) where appropriate.</li><li>Studies LGBT therapies, publications &amp; therapeutic approaches as a speciality.</li></ul></div><h2>How LGBT Individual Counselling can help.</h2><p>When you have issues on your mind, and you either cannot talk with friends or family &#8211; or friends and family are unable to help sufficiently &#8211; private counselling helps.  Whilst most counsellors will see LGBT clients, Dean Richardson is an LGBT Therapist &#8211; spot the difference?</p><p>Sometimes a family member of friend will ask &#8220;&#8230; but <em>why </em>are you feeling like this&#8221; as if knowing the answering will help you fix the problem.  To a professional LGBT therapist you don&#8217;t have to explain yourself.</p><p>We all usually have someone we can talk to about our problems in life.  But sometimes we want to speak to someone who is going to help us work through the more difficult things. Counselling can help you work through problems in your life and to help you resolve them for good.</p><p>Taking up private counselling means that you don&#8217;t need to be referred to a counsellor by the NHS or your GP.  You won&#8217;t have to go on a waiting list and you are not limited to a strict maximum number of six sessions.  Neither are you restricted to one particular form of counselling &#8211; which may or may not help you &#8211; the choice being made on your behalf by what&#8217;s available on the NHS . By going private your GP will not be informed of your counselling &#8211; it remains totally confidential.</p><p>LGBT counselling can be supportive in many ways:-</p><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Thinking about &#8220;coming out&#8221; at work or to friends.</li><li>Dealing with problems in an LGBT intimate relationship.</li><li>LGBT lifestyle and/or sexual issues (eg BDSM, S&amp;M, Cottaging, Club &amp; Nightlife, drugs etc)</li><li>Helping you work through life issues like health, losses, stresses, traumas.</li><li>Helping you talk through weighing up a difficult decision.</li><li>Talking through past experiences which need, finally, to be put to rest.</li></ul></div><p>Some people come into counselling not knowing why &#8211; perhaps a friend has suggested it &#8211; and we can talk about that too.</p><p>Sometimes just knowing that someone is on your side helps too.</p><h2>What&#8217;s Involved with LGBT Individuals&#8217; Counselling?</h2><p>We initially meet to discuss your needs from counselling &#8230; and to have a think about what counselling might help you.  This is called the &#8220;assessment&#8221; session.</p><p><div style='' class='et-box iCFacebookWidget et-shadow iCSideComment'><div>Most counsellors will work with LGBT people.  <strong>Dean Richardson is  an LGBT Counsellor</strong>.  Spot the difference?</div></div>If we agree that counselling could be helpful, and we think that we can work with each other, we will arrange subsequent sessions. Usually these sessions will be on the same time and day each week.  Sometimes brief/focal counselling (a fixed number of sessions) is agreed suitable, sometimes working until the issues are worked through is a better choice.</p><p>Then we&#8217;ll talk.</p><p>You will usually lead the sessions (the counsellor will help at the beginning of the work).  Whatever you want to talk about is OK.  The counsellor will listen, be inquisitive and curious to help understand aspects of the problems that, perhaps, you had not considered before.  The counsellor may sometimes offer thoughts and interpretations about what might be happening for you &#8230; giving you another perspective that is intended to help you understand the issues.  Sometimes, looking forward into the future will be discussed; how will things be when the issues are resolved and put away.  Sometimes the therapist will work with your emotions, sometimes the therapist will work with your patterns of thinking.  All of this is aimed to help you find your own ways that work for you in putting the problems to bed, leaving you unburned/less burned than when you came to therapy.</p><p>All sessions are fifty minutes, are held weekly on the same day and time and same location.</p><h2>Responsibilities within Individual&#8217;s Counselling.</h2><div class='one_half'><h3>What is expected of the Therapist?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5392' style='line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Ensuring the safety of both the therapist and client (eg a quiet, confidential room that will not be disturbed, that the session time begins and ends on time).</li><li>To take an ethical stance on all matters, to follow the <a title="BACP Ethical Framework" href="http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/" target="_blank">BACP's Ethical Framework</a>, and to ensure his best practice for the client at all times.</li><li>To ensure that the client can discuss his/her subjects in safety - albeit not necessarily always in comfort (i.e. discussing trauma will be uncomfortable to begin with) - but ensuring the client can stop at any time they wish to.</li><li>To listen without communicating judgement or prejudice.</li><li>To try and use the client's own language to discuss matters where possible (i.e. if the client doesn't speak in 'emotions' but instead talks about 'behaviour', then the therapist speaking exclusively in terms of 'emotions' may not be very helpful).</li><li>To recognise and work with social, sexual, ability and cultural differences (that the therapist is not giving advice from his position ("What I would do is..."), but is being effective in helping the client find his/her own resolutions and/or management of problems).</li><li>To be earnest on assisting the client out of therapy either when the client is ready to leave, or by helping the client recognise that the therapy may have been concluded (i.e. not keeping a person in therapy beyond a legitimate need &amp; not ousting a client before he/she is ready to leave).</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='one_half last'><h3>What is expected of the Client?</h3><div><span class='blog_9 content_insert post-id-5390' style='line-height:1.2em; font-size:8.5pt;'><div class='et-custom-list'><ul><li>Initially, the client needs simply to being willing to give the therapy a try - even if sceptical or unsure of the therapist's approach.</li><li>To bear in mind that counselling is not <em>done</em> to him/her as a client, that he/she will not be <em>cured</em> by the therapist's approach alone. He/she is an active participant in the therapy (albeit this may not be possible at the start - and sometimes not during - due to emotional states).</li><li>To ensuring that he/she tells the truth in all matters but also to be aware that he/she can decline to discuss anything uncomfortable.</li><li>To take responsibility for bringing up concerns or dissatisfaction about the therapist with the therapist (e.g. the therapist's conduct, something he said, something he does etc.). All therapists appreciate that this may take courage ... but as the therapist has the best of intentions, and whilst his experience may often tip him off to a client being disturbed by something he does or says, he may not always be aware of any deep or hidden irritation on behalf the client.</li><li>When the client/therapist agree an exercise between sessions is appropriate, to be willing to find the time to address the exercise, or be willing to discuss matters if the exercise was not completed (or, say, not completed to the client's satisfaction).</li><li>Be willing to bring up ending counselling when he/she feels that time is approaching.</li></ul></div> </span></div></div><div class='clear'></div></p><h2>What LGBT Individual Counselling isn&#8217;t suitable for.</h2><div class='et-custom-list etlist-x'><div style="float: right; width: 260px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; font-size: 9pt;"><div class='et-box et-shadow' ><div class='et-box-content' ><h4 style="margin: 0pt; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;">Skype Counselling.</h4><p><div id='InnerThumbnailWithDescription' class='alignleft ' style='width:69px'><img src='http://www.hampshirecounsellor.org.uk/wp-content/blogs.dir/9/files/et_temp/Skype-S-4669_52x52.jpg' alt='Skype-S' title='Skype-S' class='thumbnail-post' style='width:52px; height:52px;' /><div id='description'>Skype logo &copy <a href='http://skype.com' target='_blank'>Skype</a></div></div>Individuals looking to work particularly with Dean, but who live too far away to travel weekly to Portsmouth, may find Dean&#8217;s <strong>Skype Personal Counselling Service</strong> useful (<a href="http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/skype-counselling/" title="Choose Skype Counselling" rel="bookmark">read more…</a>)</div></div></p></div><ul><li>When questions of your sexuality are not important, LGBT counselling won&#8217;t apply to you.</li><li>Counselling is not an advice service. The therapist cannot give you solutions based upon his own experience or judgement.</li><li>The therapist cannot take action on your behalf (eg writing to a government agency, or writing a complaint to a company on your behalf).</li><li>Counselling isn&#8217;t a social meeting &#8211; although it can appear as though it is a social relationship.</li><li>Counselling is not held anywhere public (eg a cafe, library).  Some therapists will offer home-visits.</li><li>Individual counselling cannot help change a third party.  Sometimes people wish to come and talk about their problems with another person, sometimes wanting solutions for that <em>other</em> person to be changed.  The only person we can work to change in individual therapy is you.</li></ul></div><h2>What do to next&#8230;</h2><p>If you are interested in potentially receiving LGBT individuals&#8217; counselling, contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.</p> <a href='/contact/' class='icon-button mail-icon'><span class='et-icon'><span>Contact Dean Richardson...</span></span></a><br class="clear"/><div class='page-nav clearfix'></div>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://www.icounsellor.co.uk/counselling/lgbt-counselling/lgbt-individuals-counselling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>
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