I'd tried talking to another counsellor, but she seemed to be uncomfortably when I talked about sex with my boyfriend.

Contact Dean Richardson

Private Counselling for Lesbian, Gay, Transgender & Bisexual.

Dean Richardson MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg – LGBT Specialist Counsellor.

Fully qualified & experienced gay male counsellor for LGBT Couples & LGBT Individuals (LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender & Questioning Individuals.)

With over thirteen years’ practical experience working in Hampshire, Dean Richardson set up his private Portsmouth counselling practice to specialise in working with gay / lesbian / transgender/transvestite and bisexual clients in therapy.

There are very few private Hampshire counselling practices that specialise in gay & lesbian clients, and Dean offers three primary Hampshire LGBT services in his practice in Southsea (south of Portsmouth, PO5, 4 miles from M275 J12):

… these LGBT-therapy services are available to anyone in Portsmouth, Southsea, Southampton, Fareham, Gosport, Havant & Hayling Island, northwards to Petersfield and eastwards to Chichester.

Specialist LGBT Counselling for Hampshire & Skype Video.

Counselling focussed specifically on lesbian, gay, trans and bi clients isn’t just about understanding an LGBT-lifestyle and same-sex life-choices. For one thing, a counselling speciality involves an understanding the language characterised by LGBT lifestyles (“BDSM”, “PEP”, “CBT”, “S&M”).  It involves knowledge of appropriate LGBT psychological-related studies, as well as having a reliable core psychotherapeutic framework that’s appropriate for the therapy being sought.

Why Consider a Specialist LGBT Counsellor?

The following are just just some of the reasons why choosing Dean as your Specialist LGBT Counsellor for same-sex relationship- or simply individual- needs is worth considering.

Whilst it’s accurate that most therapists in Hampshire could work with most clients in the local areas, LGBT people sometimes seek counselling from a specialist LGBT private counsellor for specific reasons.

Perhaps not least is to seek a sense of assurance that the counsellor understands and empathises with LGBT social, sexual & community conduct and that this type of  counsellor is sought after to convey the sense of understanding to the LGBT individual or couple that is sometimes not experienced from a generic-practice counsellor.

Whilst there is therapeutic benefits in an LGBT client imagining that a specialist LGBT counsellor will immediately be understanding & trustworthy, I would suggest that it is the qualities of the therapist who handles this imagination that is paramount during the initial part of the therapy regardless of the counsellor being gay or not. Yet, an LGBT-specialist counsellor can still offer an empathic understanding of the client or couple’s real world that other therapists may not be able to.

• LGBT Couples Counselling
• LGBT Individuals Counselling
• LGBT Support Groups
• Online LGBT Skype Counselling

LGBT Couples Counselling.

"I Bet It's `Can't Get You Out of My Head`" © CarbonNYC

When gay, lesbian or mixed-orientation couple relationships suffer conflicts & breakdowns and partners wish to engage a professional to help them understand what may be going on, LGBT couples may prefer to work with someone who is also member of their own sexuality group.

Couples choose counselling due to experiencing a negative recent event, or one from years ago, infidelity, mistrust, life stages, birth, ageing, death, wishing to separate and so on. Some relationships struggle to manage certain conflicts.

The counsellor is a neutral participant who doesn’t impose solutions. Instead he offers observation, curiosity and therapeutic hypotheses about the relationship’s behaviour – and invites the couple to take on similar acts to help perturb the unsatisfactory behaviour.

In aiming to help the couple help themselves in understanding what’s going on in their relationship, the couple can teach themselves  to become unstuck and move through relationship problems. With new information a couple can notices differences and use these to make changes (by themselves) for the better.

Click to learn more…

LGBT Individual’s Counselling.

"Gay pride 2011 à Toulouse" © Guillaume Paumier

Whilst it’s true that a gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or “questioning” person  may be able to work with most any counsellor, some LGBT individuals choose to work on personal matters with a counsellor who also identifies as a member of the individual’s sexuality group.

All sorts of  LGBT&Q individuals come to counselling for all sorts of reasons.  Those experiencing a negative recent event, or one from years ago, unexplained behaviour, infidelity, mistrust, life stages, relationships, ageing, death … they all have an impact on an individual’s life – and counselling is there when you have temporarily lost your ability to manage on your own.

The topic of your sexuality may not be the focus of your counselling and this is perfectly natural.  Sometimes the LGBT client simply wishes to talk about particular struggles in their life without feeling as if they have to explain their life choices or define their choice of words for their counsellor to understand.

Click to learn more…

LGBT Support Groups.

"Circle of Friends" © Jimee, Jackie, Tom & Asha

Sometimes, joining a therapeutic support group can help the LGBT individual recognise that they’re not struggling with their problems alone.

Groups not only discuss problems similar to each group member, but can also discuss “non-problems” (i.e. by the group discussing matters that are not the individual’s problem, the group can helpfully demonstrate life-management skills that are different to an individual’s personal difficulties).

Groups can be homogeneous (all members share similar personal-problems) or heterogeneous (members exhibit different problems), a closed group (the group starts with the same members that it finishes with) or open (the group allows new members to join and others to life during the life of the group).

Dean Richardson’s support groups can either be created “On Demand” – (a minimum of 4 & maximum of 8 participants are required  for a new group) or, if a suitable open group is already running, you may be able to join an existing group.

Click to learn more…

 

Online LGBT Skype Counselling .

"Bon Anniversaire" © Global X

Sometimes you find your ideal counsellor … and he works 100s of miles away from you. Fortunately, you can access Dean Richardson’s LGBT counselling services online using your camera-enabled computer or Smartphone … with Skype.

Simply install the free Skype software, and you can engage in counselling sessions with Dean using video conferencing.

Online Counselling for LGBT long-distance Couples.

Gay & lesbian couples who are in a long-distance relationship can also make use of Skype Couples Counselling. Dean subscribes to the Skype Group Video service on your behalf so that both of you – along with Dean – can see each other simultaneously through Skype.  Even for couples in the same location, using two computers can be helpful – as everyone sees the other two people on their screen.  Dean’s Online LGBT Skype Couples Counselling services is also suitable for couples of mixed-gender & mixed-sexuality (e.g. gay male and straight female intimate relationship).

What’s Skype Counselling like?

Initially some people find video conferencing a little unusual, but a handy tip is that if you maximise the video window, looking at the computer soon feels as if the people on screen are in the same room as you.

Want to work with Dean, but are unable to get to his Portsmouth location?  Consider Skype for Online LGBT Counselling.

Click to learn more…

Whilst my whole website discusses confidentiality, sexuality, gender and my therapeutic practice, it would not go amiss for me to produce at least a brief post that combines all of these counselling features into providing a safe containment for one particular area of society in which I specialise as a therapist: closet gay & lesbian individuals & couples.

Website Search – close, but no cigar.

Someone arrived on this website having searched for ‘counselling for closet gay’.  In response to the query, Google sent the visitor to my search page.  My search software dutifully produced a list of pages that were mostly about counselling, some about LGBT couple therapy, some about me, but none that expressly spoke about counselling for the closet individual.

Notwithstanding I’m taking a look at my search producing software, it was very clear that the visitor had not been presented with anything about what they were looking for from my website, and they went away.

Quite rightly.

But mistakenly so.

Counselling for LGBT People.

As male counsellor who specialises in offering counselling for the specific needs of lesbian and gay individuals & LGBT couples, it would seem to me that the whole of my therapy service would cater well for those people who are not ‘out’:

Being in, and coming out of, ‘the closet’.

The term being in the ‘closet’ means that a person’s sexuality or gender-identification is something other than what appears to the public, but that the person has not yet made a public declaration.  The term goes hand in hand with the phrase ‘out’ or ‘outing’ meaning that when a person becomes known for their homo or bi sexuality, or desire for a change in gender, they have come out of the closet, or they have been “outed” by a third party.

It’s perhaps interesting that it is sexual minorities that have to go through this process, as it is perhaps assumed that a person is heterosexual, gender-phoric (as opposed to dysphoric) or cis-gender until other facts are known.

It’s perhaps also interesting that as more people – particularly role (or pseudo-role) models – announce their sexuality or gender-reassignment (or gender ambivalence as not transgender people feel the need to make a full transition from one gender to another) – the process of coming out of the closet (outing ones self) is becoming easier and more socially acceptable (Seidman, Meeks, and Traschen (1999) argue that “the closet” may be becoming an antiquated metaphor in the lives of modern day Americans).

Nevertheless, society still assumes one is a heterosexual cis-gendered person until one corrects the notion.

Not everyone wants to be ‘out’.

It would not be surprising that some people would benefit from discussing their sexuality with a helpful & friendly professional, someone with whom they might feel safe, in order to find support before they go through a (sometimes) traumatic process as outing themselves.

It is not the counsellor’s position to encourage self-outing (or maintaining self-closeting) as the decision for action is down the client, with the counselling processing being available to assist the client on reflection: pros, cons, effects, affects.  LGBT counselling is not a solution of itself but a helpful tool.

In closing, I hope this brief post goes some way to correct, clarify and reconcile my services into a clearer statement of some of the kinds of counselling services that I offer.

If you are in a relationship – regardless of either of your sexualities – and you are having relationship problems after an HIV test gave a positive result then contact Dean Richardson today to arranging a no-obligation initial session to see if couples counselling could be helpful for both of you.

It has not been unusual for a couple – gay, lesbian or straight – to come to see Dean Richardson for private couples counselling after one (or both) have been diagnosed as HIV-positive.

• Sometimes the couple counselling is about dealing with the shock of receiving a positive diagnosis.
• Sometimes the counselling is about dealing with trust issues raised by one partner being diagnosed.
• Sometimes the diagnosis is cathartic in releasing other matters that have been delayed – but now need someone to help the couple discuss.

Whatever the core reasons of seeking couples counselling, Dean is a qualified and experienced couples counsellor who works with couples that have received a positive HIV diagnosis (amongst many other couple relationship reasons for counselling).  His couples counselling service in Portsmouth can help a couple negotiate their way through difficult problems resulting from HIV diagnoses.

The GU clinic may give you and your partner support after an HIV positive diagnosis, but longer term therapy is available privately through meeting with Dean.

Arranging a Couple Counselling appointment.

You don’t need to be referred to Dean via your local GUM clinic, nor your doctor, you can make your own appointment directly. Initiating private counselling is totally up to you both and can be arranged very quickly. 

Dean is a systemic and psychodynamic qualified couples counsellor that is ideal for assisting a couple in finding their own newly inspired solutions to their own relationship conflicts. Dean’s couple counselling is a confidential service that can compliment the medical treatment that you will continue to receive through your GUM clinic and/or your doctor.

Introduction.

Over a 5-year period (1974 to 1979), the authors interviewed in depth 156 gay male couples [in the California, San Diego County area] who were not in therapy and had lived together anywhere from 1 to more than 37 years. The mean time in a relationship was 8.7 years, with median being slightly over 5 years.

Six stages of relationship were identified.  The first four stages occurred within the first 10 years of the gay couple’s relationship.

The stages were presented as tentative formulations needing further clinical trial and research validation.

The conceptualisation of developmental stages has been very helpful in the clinical approach to therapy with gay male couples.

Stage One: Blending (First Year)

Characteristics:

• Blending
• Limerence (falling in love, being romantically in love, intrusive thinking about the desired person, acute longing for reciprocation, sexual attraction).
• Equality of partnership
• High sexual activity

Blending is experienced as the intensity of togetherness gay men feel early in their relationships. Their similarities bind them, their differences are mutually overlooked.

Stage Two: Nesting (1 to 3 years)

Characteristics:

• Homemaking
• Finding compatibility
• Decline in limerance
• Ambivalence

By the second year, more attention is paid to their surroundings taking the form of homemaking activities. Couples in this stage also tend to see each other’s shortcomings and discover or create complementarities that enhance compatibility setting the stage for the mixture of positive and negative feelings about the value of the relationship: ambivalence.

Stage Three: Maintaining (3 to 5 years)

Characteristics:

• Individualisation begins
• Risk-taking
• Dealing with Conflict
• Relying on the relationship

Maintaining the relationship depends upon establishing balances between individualisation and togetherness, conflict and its resolution, autonomy and dependence, confusion and understanding. The intense blending of Stage Two clears the path for the re-emergence of the individual differences, indentified here as individualisation. Individualisation requires some necessary risk-taking.

Stage Four: Collaborating (5 to 10 years)

Characteristics:

• Collaborating
• Productivity
• Establishing independence
• Dependability of partners

After 5 years together, couples experience a new sense of security and a decreasing need to process their interactions. The individualisation of Stage Three can progress to the establishment of independence, sustained by the steady, dependable availability of a partner for support, guidance and affirmation.

Stage Five: Trusting (10 to 20 years)

Characteristics:

• Trust
• Merger of money and possessions
• Constriction
• Taking the relationship for granted

Trust develops gradually for most people. The trust of Stage Five includes a mutual lack of possessiveness and a strong positive regard for each other.

Stage Six: Repartnering (20 years and beyond)

Characteristics:

• Attainment of goals
• Expectation of permanence of the relationship
• Emergence of personal concerns
• Awareness of the passage of time

The twentieth anniversary appears to be a special milestone for gay male couples. A surprising number of couples reported a renewal of their relationship after being together for 20 years or more.

Comparing Studies.

When comparing the “Marital Stages” by E. Street (heterosexual relationships) with “Gay Male Partnership Stages” by McWhirter & Mattison, and interesting parallel emerges:-

See also Counselling for LGBT Couples.

If you are troubled by your sexuality and you think that counselling might help you, make an appointment with Dean Richardson – a Specialist LGBT Therapist – to discuss counselling and what you might need from therapy.

The Gay Cure?

by
John Daniel

http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/1168/

Excerpt:

The counselling and psychotherapy profession was subject to unflattering media scrutiny earlier this year [2009] following the publication of research which found that a significant minority of mental health professionals in Britain are attempting to help lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) clients become heterosexual.

Under the headline ‘British therapists still offer treatments to “cure” homosexuality’, the Guardian reported that a survey (of 1,328 counsellors, psychotherapists, psychoanalysts and psychiatrists throughout the country) found that 222 practitioners had attempted to change at least one patient/client’s sexual orientation, while 55 said they were still offering the therapy. The fact that some of those practitioners are members of BACP prompted the following response from Phillip Hodson, BACP Fellow and Media Consultant, in the letters page of the Guardian the next day: ‘[BACP] is dedicated to social diversity, equality and inclusivity of treatment without sexual discrimination or judgmentalism of any kind, and it would be absurd to attempt to alter such fundamental aspects of personal identity as sexual orientation by counselling.’

And yet this is what a significant minority of counsellors working in Britain today are still attempting to do. ‘I think it’s probably the tip of the iceberg,’ says Michael King, Professor of Primary Care Psychiatry at University College London Medical School, and one of the three scientists responsible for the aforementioned research published in the BMC Psychiatry journal. ‘It was only a small minority, about four per cent, who said that they would treat someone who came and asked for help, but another 10 per cent said they would refer on to someone who would, so it looked like about 14 per cent thought it was an appropriate thing to do.’

As a lesbian couple, we found Dean safe to work with.

Contact Dean Richardson

Couple Counselling for Gay/Lesbian Relationships (Hampshire & Skype).

What if curiosity could take your relationship somewhere better?

Lesbian, gay, transgender & bisexual couples may seek counselling from a LGBT-specialist couple counsellor for many reason. Not least to seek a sense of assurance that the counsellor understands, has experience with the psychology of, and empathises with LGBT social, sexual & community conduct.  These qualities of the LGBT couples counsellor are sought to convey a sense of understanding to the couple that is sometimes not experienced from a general or inexperienced counsellor.

Dean Richardson MBACP(accred), UKRCP Reg is your choice for LGBT Couple Counselling – in Hampshire (UK) and via Skype.

Separating? / Reconciling?

It’s a myth to think that couple counselling is only aimed at keeping a couple to stay together.  SystemicSystemic therapy is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate and platonic relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy couple counselling offers couples a way to work with what the couple want from therapy; this may include helping the couple to separate (as amiable & responsibly as the couple wish), or finding ways for the relationship to be repaired & to continue; to deal with issues of sexuality, sex, open- (or closed) relationships, S&M/BDSM, family issues, thinking about a baby (or not) and many, many more LGBT-specific and generally common-to-all-couples relationship issues.

Why choose Dean for Couple Counselling?

A significant number of LGBT couples in Hampshire, (Portsmouth) and on Skype video choose to work with Dean as an LGBT Specialist Couple Counsellor for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender & mixed-orientation/mixed-gender relationships-in-conflict.

Dean’s Qualities as a Professional LGBT Therapist.

What do we mean by “LGBT Couple”?

An LGBT couple is two people involved in an intimate relationship who are either of the same gender & sexual orientation (e.g. gay male, lesbian female) or who are of mixed sexual orientation and/or gender (such as a straight cis female & gay male, a transgendered M-F and a straight male, a transgendered F-M and a gay male etc.) and other combinations of gender and sexuality.

Deciding if LGBT Couple Counselling is for you.

Do any of these situations seem familiar?

How LGBT Couple Counselling can help.

Sometimes couples can find their relationship behaviour has gotten stuck in unsatisfactory or unhappy patterns.  Couples who cannot get themselves out of these patterns may find psychodynamic & systemic couples counselling suitable in helping shift the “unstuckedness”.

The couple doesn’t have to know how they’ll achieve what they want (very often the couple think that they’ve tried everything) – the couples therapist has the skills to help with this.

What’s Involved in LGBT Couple Counselling.

Initially, the couple meet with Dean Richardson for an assessment for couples counselling.  This usually takes four sessions:-

• Session 1: all three of us meet to discuss an overview of what is needed from counselling.
• Session 2: one partner meets with Dean separately.  This is to discuss their perspective on the couple relationship, and to discuss some personal history.
• Session 3: the other partner meets with Dean separately as in session 2.
• Session 4: all three of us meet again to discuss what we have learned in the previous sessions, and to begin to set a focus about what the couple counselling should address.

Subsequent sessions are lead by the couple, with the therapist offering observations and therapeutic hypotheses on the relationship to help both partners learn what might be going on.  With new information the couple can make informed choices.

A main intention is to help disturb the  relationship’s unhappy behaviour patterns by being curious and interested on the relationship system (what the relationship is doing), learning & finding new information and allowing inspiration to address what we are learning plus being creative with solutions that the couple will come up with themselves.

The process encourages more space for thought and inspiration – allowing the couple’s relationship to become unstuck again.

Responsibilities in Couples Counselling.

Care when perturbing relationships.

Sometimes, couples don’t communicate for very good reasons. Their non-communication can have purpose – whether it may be to protect the relationship, protect feelings, or is a way of avoiding further conflict. When couple therapy begins to stick its nose into the relationship, more unhappiness can be brought out than before the therapy began. The couple’s relationship can feel worse before it can feel better.

Why Separating Couples use Counselling to Break-Up.

During the initial years, a couple’s relationship will go through a process of joining and blending.  When one partner decides that they wish to leave the relationship, the separation can be experienced as terribly painful.

The relationship may have introduced assets – children, pets, possessions, property; the couple will have to decide how to manage the division of what the relationship has created.

In couple counselling, the couple can find a safe, secure place in which to discuss how the relationship divides the assets, and discuss the responsibilities of managing children and pets.

Does LGBT Couple Counselling Work?

An important question might be: “Will couple counselling work for me and my partner?”

I’m wring from a systemic & psychodynamic point of view to couple counselling.  A relationship gets into trouble because of what the partners are both contributing to the relationship-conflicts.  It may seem that just one partner is doing all the trouble-making, but I would also suggest to you that it takes two partners’ combined behaviour (whether conscious or unconscious) to bring a relationship onto conflict.

There has to be reasons for the conflict to occur – even if the reasons are not understood.

Couple counselling aims to help the partners perturb the conflict (actively get on the way of stuff going wrong, so that they can introduce stuff going right).  This can have an important consequence: whatever the reasons for the conflict being introduced will also be effected by the conflict being removed.

It’s perfectly legitimate to begin couple counselling without knowing if it will be successful or not.  The process is an investment in your relationship, and like any investment: what you get back may be more – or less – than you had hoped for.  But, unlike investing in a third-party (like stocks and shares) you’re investing in your relationship … something that you and your partner have an influence upon … and by involving an experienced couple counsellor you are not doing this alone.

What LGBT Couple Counselling isn’t suitable for.

Long Distance Relationships.

Skype logo © Skype

LGBT couples who are separated by distance but who still need couple counselling, or are a long distance from Dean Richardson’s Portsmouth consulting rooms, may find Dean’s Skype LGBT Couple Counselling service useful (read more…)

• The couple do not identify themselves as LGBT – thus this form of therapy is not required.
• A couple who have separate mutually-exclusive agendas cannot be helped by this process (albeit the couple may wish to discuss their separate agendas with a view to finding a common goal).
• Families – couple counselling is not family therapy (ie groups of more than two people).
• Adults who wish someone to change their partner to their satisfaction.  Couple counselling is a mutual process that will involve both partners.
• Domestic Violence – unless both couples wish to change the violent relationship.
• One partner coming to help the other / has nothing to contribute to the work – couple counselling involves both partners.
• One partner was not informed about the other partner’s desire to come to couple counselling – both partners have to wish to take part in the process.

What do to next…

If both you and your partner are interested in potentially receiving LGBT couples counselling (systemic/psychodynamic model), contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.

I'd tried talking to another counsellor, but she seemed to be uncomfortably when I talked about sex with my boyfriend.

Contact Dean Richardson

Private Individual Counselling for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

Dean Richardson MBACP (Accred), UKRCP Reg – LGBT Specialist – Hampshire & Skype.

What if a single idea could transform your life?

LGBT individuals counselling is ideal for any Hampshire (or Skype)  individual gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning person.  It’s for when you want to deal with issues like anxiety, depression, phobias, confidence, work issues, relationship problems, “coming-out” (or not), being unsure of your sexuality, and many more issues. like that.

Whilst it’s true that any gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or questioning individual could form a good working relationship with any counsellor, LGBT individuals sometimes seek a therapist who identifies themselves as a member of their own LGBT community. Dean Richardson is a therapist who focuses on the needs of LGBT clients in therapy working with the particular needs of LGBT individual clients.

Dean Richardson – is your choice for Specialist LGBT Counselling in Hampshire (Portsmouth) and on Skype video.

Why choose Dean for Individual Counselling?

How LGBT Individual Counselling can help.

When you have issues on your mind, and you either cannot talk with friends or family – or friends and family are unable to help sufficiently – private counselling helps.  Whilst most counsellors will see LGBT clients, Dean Richardson is an LGBT Therapist – spot the difference?

Sometimes a family member of friend will ask “… but why are you feeling like this” as if knowing the answering will help you fix the problem.  To a professional LGBT therapist you don’t have to explain yourself.

We all usually have someone we can talk to about our problems in life.  But sometimes we want to speak to someone who is going to help us work through the more difficult things. Counselling can help you work through problems in your life and to help you resolve them for good.

Taking up private counselling means that you don’t need to be referred to a counsellor by the NHS or your GP.  You won’t have to go on a waiting list and you are not limited to a strict maximum number of six sessions.  Neither are you restricted to one particular form of counselling – which may or may not help you – the choice being made on your behalf by what’s available on the NHS . By going private your GP will not be informed of your counselling – it remains totally confidential.

LGBT counselling can be supportive in many ways:-

Some people come into counselling not knowing why – perhaps a friend has suggested it – and we can talk about that too.

Sometimes just knowing that someone is on your side helps too.

What’s Involved with LGBT Individuals’ Counselling?

We initially meet to discuss your needs from counselling … and to have a think about what counselling might help you.  This is called the “assessment” session.

Then we’ll talk.

You will usually lead the sessions (the counsellor will help at the beginning of the work).  Whatever you want to talk about is OK.  The counsellor will listen, be inquisitive and curious to help understand aspects of the problems that, perhaps, you had not considered before.  The counsellor may sometimes offer thoughts and interpretations about what might be happening for you … giving you another perspective that is intended to help you understand the issues.  Sometimes, looking forward into the future will be discussed; how will things be when the issues are resolved and put away.  Sometimes the therapist will work with your emotions, sometimes the therapist will work with your patterns of thinking.  All of this is aimed to help you find your own ways that work for you in putting the problems to bed, leaving you unburned/less burned than when you came to therapy.

All sessions are fifty minutes, are held weekly on the same day and time and same location.

Responsibilities within Individual’s Counselling.

What LGBT Individual Counselling isn’t suitable for.

Skype Counselling.

Skype logo © Skype

Individuals looking to work particularly with Dean, but who live too far away to travel weekly to Portsmouth, may find Dean’s Skype Personal Counselling Service useful (read more…)

• When questions of your sexuality are not important, LGBT counselling won’t apply to you.
• Counselling is not an advice service. The therapist cannot give you solutions based upon his own experience or judgement.
• The therapist cannot take action on your behalf (eg writing to a government agency, or writing a complaint to a company on your behalf).
• Counselling isn’t a social meeting – although it can appear as though it is a social relationship.
• Counselling is not held anywhere public (eg a cafe, library).  Some therapists will offer home-visits.
• Individual counselling cannot help change a third party.  Sometimes people wish to come and talk about their problems with another person, sometimes wanting solutions for that other person to be changed.  The only person we can work to change in individual therapy is you.

What do to next…

If you are interested in potentially receiving LGBT individuals’ counselling, contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.

This is a list of (mostly) LGBT-orientated language abbreviations & acronyms. They are intended for therapists thinking about expanding into working with LGBTQI clients and who might like a crash course in lifestyle-language.  They will also be useful for anyone interested.

This list is small but I hope to expand it.

PLEASE HELP: if you’d like to help by added something please use the comments section below to suggest or correct an entry.

A

B

BDSM: “Bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism”
A type of role-play – and sometimes a lifetstyle – between two or more who use the practice to experience a mix of pain and power as an erotic or sexual experience.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

BEARD:
Sometimes ‘lesbian beard’ – a woman who becomes the girlfriend/wife of a gay man in order to deflect suspicions of homosexuality primarily away from the man (although may also be a mutually satisfactory arrangement for a lesbian and gay-man).
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/herstory/g/Beard.htm

BUTCH:
A lesbian woman who appears to be demonstrate more masculine-than-feminine behaviour (eg aggression, dominance).
http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/transdykes/g/butch.htm

C

CBT: “Cock & Ball Torture”
Sexual play involving the delivery of pain to the penis and testicles – the sexual pleasure is mostly gained from the masochistic receipt, but somewhat too from the sadistic delivery. Torture may involve waxing, kicking, squeezing, hitting, flogging, urethral play etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_and_ball_torture_(8sexual_practice)

Closet: “In the closet”
Term (usually applying to males but equally appropriate to females) to imply a person’s sexual orientation or gender identification is different from the majority and is not publicly known. Goes hand in hand with out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closeted

D

E

F

FEMME / FEM:
A lesbian woman who appears to demonstrate proportionally more femanine-than-mascline behaviour and/or appearance.
http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/comingout/g/Femme.htm

G

H

I

J

K

L

Lesbian Bed Death:
Term coin by Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book American Couples – the study suggesting that lesbians in committed relationships suffer the most decline in sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts.  The study has been critisised and the conclusions given as myth, however the phrase is used by some to express concern about their relationship’s decline.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death

LGBTQI: “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans(gender/vestite), Questioning(Queer), Intersexed(Inquisitive)”
Self-classification from the LGBT community. Different variations include: GLBT (primarily American), LGBT, LGB etc…

M

N

O

Out: “Out of the closet“
Term used to describe someone who has announced their sexuality as being different from the majority (eg gay / lesbian).  Can also refer to gender identification.  Being used more commonly nowadays as an esoteric term to refer to someone who makes something public known about themselves that was previously secret.

P

PEP: “Post Exposure Prophylaxis“
A treatment to attempt to stop infection by the HIV virus shortly after exposure.
http://www.pep.chapsonline.org.uk/pep_basics.htm

Q

R

S

SORTED:
Personal description implying the person has no psychological or emotional problems.

SOUNDING:
The use of medical-orientated equipment to stretch the urethra (primarily in males / the penis) as a form of sexual play.
http://www.chaseunion.com/documents/urethra/sounds.htm

T

U

V

W

XYZ

Please help me expand this list by adding further suggestions and amendments using the comments section below…