‘Tis the season to be jolly.

Fa la la la lah, la lah, lah, lah.

As I said a pre-Christmas farewell to a colleague last week, he referred to this period as the ‘nonsense’ season.  It got me thinking: if this holiday season could be nonsense … to whom might this period make no sense?

Opting-out of Christmas.

“How do we opt out of Christmas gifting w/o being Scrooges?”
Jenney – Savings Advice Forum.

For many people, the approach of the season switches on certain automatic behaviour.  Behaviour coming from certain assumptions and certain expectations:

For those who are without families – whether biological or extended – or few or no friends, the holiday season becomes nonsensical. How easily it seems one can be forgotten whilst it seems everyone is running around preparing for a jolly season. Those not participating in the season can, perhaps, emulate the jolly behaviour of buying gifts for people, yet one may also be carrying a heavy heart suspecting that what few social contacts they have will disappear during the holiday season as people venture off towards their families-of-original loaded with tokens of ‘musts’.  One can emulate the behaviour or buying the right food for Christmas day, yet one knows that the food won’t be shared with anyone.  One can decided with whom they will spend holiday days, but it’s likely that friends and and those who are reasonably close will have already decided to attend family events – leaving others who are not family behind.

Rather than simply being ‘nonsense’ for some people, I’d offer that this seasonal period can be an extremely painful reminder of the solitude that some tolerate.  Solitude that is tolerated – even embraced – with pleasure during the counterpart of the year, but a solitude that borders on becoming unbearable loneliness during this  holiday season.

Year-Round Solitude versus Seasonal Loneliness.

“You’d like some other bears!”
Dr. Gina Toll – ‘In Treatment‘

A human being is a social being – he needs to not be alone.  So, how can it be that solitude (the state of being on one’s own) does not feel lonely (sad at having no friends/company)?

One’s good & caring mother stored away in the ‘loving mum object’ gives some of us the sense that we are cared for, even when mum has passed away a long time ago. 

Conversely, those of us who were given the experience that we were not cared for, could be stored away in the ‘persecutor object’, remaining a reminder that as a human being we are someone who others will not care for.

I’d offer the thought that internalised objects can be a factor in how one approaches being on one’s own.  The word “solitude” is used to describe a choice – that in being without company one feels good.  Loneliness is used to describe no-choice – that in being without company one feels bad.  Solitude is pleasant because one does not sense being alone when accompanied by supporting internalised ‘good’ (or good-enough) objects, whereas perhaps loneliness is the lack of good objects/the presence of bad ones.

Object Relationships & Seasonal Nonsense.

“the self, exists only in relation to other ‘objects,’ which may be external or internal.”
New World Encyclopedia – Entry: Melanie Klein

It makes me wonder how in our society the change in social behaviour (eg the approach to Christmas) effects the meta-structure of the psyche’s internalised objects of participants, observers and affectees.

If, during the year, one can tolerate one’s place in social relationships (e.g. occasional social-meetings with friends, but primarily spending time on one’s own) there would appear to be something in the shift of social behaviour (“we must now prepare for Christmas”) that shifts the meta-organisation of the internalised objects for some (“I am in solitude” shifting to “I am lonely”).

Containment of ‘the loneliness’.

“projective identification may unconsciously aim to get rid of unmanageable feelings but it also serves to get help with feelings”
Patrick Casement – Further Learning From the Patient (cited in Wikipedia Article)

It would be my hypothesis that those who are capable of tolerating, even enjoying, being on one’s own become those who, hypothetically, are capable of holding the fear of loneliness that rest of society must split-off and discharge in order to participate in Christmas.

From the works of Melanie Klein, and later Wilfred Bion, we have come to understand that the mechanism of ‘projective identification‘ (Wikipedia) intolerable pain within the infant is, unconsciously, sent out to another person ( a care-giver ) who will contain the projection, maybe process it into something more tolerable, and hold it until the infant psyche is able to take it back later.

This meta-process allows something that is very painful – or in conflict with other mental demands -  to be sent away from the psyche that cannot manage it for now, placed into a psyche that can manage it better for the period.

This process is made use of in most psychotherapies (psychoanalytical, psychiatry, psychodynamic counselling) where the therapist may become aware of ‘containing’ or ‘receiving’ something on the patient’s behalf.

A patient revealed some news that the therapist believed he was meant to find worthy of congratulations; whilst the patient sounded excited about the news the therapist, instead, felt huge waves of rage that he was not able to associate with the apparent glad-tidings.  The therapist pondered that he may have been ‘containing’ something split-off that the client could not manage; could not manage at the same time of holding onto the thought that this news was good. 

Notwithstanding other explanations (such as the therapist’s own personal constructs: possible jealousy about the news), the therapist used this experience to inform his questions: gently wondering out loud with the patient about the news and its implications.  What later appeared in the work was the patient’s terrible fear about the responsibilities this news would require of him; that the patient was terrified of the implications and responded to his fear in a very angry manner.

Hypothetically, therapist had experienced the patient’s split-off and unconsciously communicated rage.  The therapist had found himself in a state of conflict:  being expected to reply ‘congratulations’ but filled with something quite opposite.  The patient – without the rage – was able to participate in a normal celebratory appearance whilst delivery the news. The therapist appeared to have been left holding the unacceptable part until the patient was able to take it back.

During this time of the year for Christian-based societies, people either have to participate in the ‘jolly season’, or be able to tolerate the shadow-side of not-taking-part. Those who do not follow the masses have to have huge courage to go it another way.

After all, we still refer to ‘Scrooge’ as a warning to all who do not participate in this meant-to-be-jolly time.

A Seasonal Hypothesis.

In Closing.

This is not a jolly hypothesis.

But it is intended intended to offer a thought – perhaps a rescuing thought – to those who are subject to massive-yet-unexplained changes in their feelings during such holidays seasons as Christmas (and as it’s author, I’m aware that this brief essay turns a blind eye to other hypotheses in order to focus on this one).

Perhaps, whilst you are enjoying your holiday season and a moment of ‘Oh I wish I wasn’t here…’ creeps into your thoughts, maybe that might be your Jiminy Cricket moment.  Perhaps someone might enjoy a thought or a message sent their way.  After all, someone may be suffering extra painful loneliness, tolerating in order for you to be able to participate in what you must consider as a Happy Christmas.

Nonsense?

Comments welcome.

My friend said 'go to counselling'. I'd never been before - I was nervous. Turns out, it was very helpful.

Contact Dean Richardson

Introducing Skype Counselling from iCounsellor.

What if therapy work could be done remotely?

Skype counselling is ideal for both individual people or a couple (optionally with two Skype devices) who wish to access Dean Richardson’s counselling services … but who are unable to travel weekly into Portsmouth, Hampshire.

Taking up Skype counselling with a qualified, experienced therapist can be the ideal solution when a particular therapist or therapist’s specialities have been recommended to you … but travel distance is prohibitive.

It’s also slightly cheaper than Dean’s standard therapy rates due to there being no room-hire costs involved (see my session rates).

How Skype facilitates Therapy with a Remote Counsellor.

A typical problem with using the Internet to search for a specific counsellor who suits your needs is that you find someone who appears to be just right for you and they’re too far away to travel to regularly. 

The form of counselling I offer works better with regular attendance – rather than having ad-hoc sessions – and travelling 100′s of miles is simply not possible for most people.  One can end up choosing a therapist who is closer to your location – but who was perhaps not your first choice.

Skype provides the following benefits:-

• Access the therapist from your home or office (or anywhere where you can spend a quiet 50 minutes somewhere safe).
• Use video conferencing so that you can see the therapist (and he see you).
• For couples who are away from each other (eg different cities or even countries) – Skype Couples Counselling allows a therapist to intervene in remote relationships that are under stress.
• Skype can be used on many camera-enabled devices: PC, Mac, Smartphone (Wifi recommended for video calls).
• Using the Skype service is free of charge to use (not including any broadband costs).
• Couples counselling requires the group video chat service (so that we can all see each other from separate computers).  The therapist takes responsibility to subscribe to the Skype service to enable this.

For more information about the Skype service itself, see http://www.skype.com.

What’s Involved in Skype Counselling?

It’s simple – it’s pretty much the same therapy processes as in Individual’s counselling ( see here ) and Couple’s counselling ( see here ) … the same boundaries & framework applies.

Skype for Couple Counselling.

"BlizzCon 2011" © Glenn Batuyong

Although one Skype device (eg one computer) may be used for a couple for Skype couple counselling, due to camera constraints the couple have to sit very close together to be seen by the therapist. This may not be appropriate & can be quite uncomfortable for a couple who is seeking treatment.

So, for Skype Couple Counselling two devices are preferable (e.g. two computers, or one computer and a video Smart phone etc.). The therapist subscribes to the Skype Group Conferencing service on your behalf (you don’t need to pay extra). Due to the limitations and ever-changing features of Skype, group conference may not be available on your device – please check with Skype.

If you don’t have two devices, it may be worth checking your chosen computer to see how well it captures two people together – and how close you may have to sit.

And yes … arguments are possible over Skype video conferencing when the couple are in separate places. They happens as much as they happen face-to-face! Nonetheless, the couple counselling process will still make use of any such exchanges just as if we were in the same consultation room together.

The main differences are that we will use Skype as the audio and visual communication medium, rather than meeting face-to-face – and that you become responsible for your safety during the session (e.g. using a safe, confidential room) instead of the therapist.

Similar therapeutic boundaries still apply: we will still connect weekly at the same day and time of the week, sessions are still 50 minutes and we will still ensure that we are not interrupted during our time together.

Shortly before the time of our session:

I will call you at the time of our appointment. The counselling process then proceeds as normal.

Should there be any disruption in the Skype service or broadband service, we may decide to reschedule.  We’ll adjust the fees appropriately for any session time that could not be used.

Costs of Skype Counselling.

Skype counselling costs less than my standard fees due to there being no room rental.  My fees for Skype counselling therefore attract a reduction of £5 per session off my standard session fees (see my fees page).

How to Pay for Skype Counselling.

If you prefer to pay online, you can use my PayPal payment service (here).

Otherwise, we will make arrangements for you to pay in cash, cheque, postal order or BACS as suits us both.

What Skype Counselling isn’t suitable for.

Interested in Skype Counselling…

Think that Skype Counselling might be for you (or for you and your partner)?

Contact Dean Richardson today.

A question that a number of clients want answering is “how long will counselling take?”

From a psychotherapeutic point of view, looking at the question is as important – if not more so – than giving an answer, particularly if an answer is not readily available.  What is really being asked: how long will I be in therapy? Is there something seriously wrong with me? How much money am I going to spend?  Do  you think you help me? 

These are important questions; they show anxiety in the person asking – and in therapy looking into the question would be important.  But this is an article and just like in therapy a genuine answer is needed: I will not know…

Counselling Services and the investment of time.

As an individuals’ counsellor I offer two main types of contract when I meet a client for an assessment. These are:

As a couples counsellor, I offer open-ended counselling where the focus of the counselling work is the primary deciding factor on when counselling has finished.  The focus of the work is discussed & agreed at the start of the therapy and the couple and I work on the focus, rather than a specific number of sessions.  Sometimes the couple may need support in recognising that the original focus has been addressed sufficiently for them to begin considering ending counselling.  Sometimes it’s clear that the work has been completed.

Ethics and Time Spent in Therapy.

As a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, I work with and uphold their (and my) Ethical Framework.

Sometimes, new clients are worried that I will keep them in therapy for a long time.  Sometimes, clients hold the idea that I will tell them when they are ‘cured’ and they can then leave therapy.  These are natural worries and when they are revealed we can talk about them in more details on therapy.

But for this page, I will state:-

As counselling is a voluntary attendance, I will not (and can not) force a person to remain in therapy past the time they wish to leave.

Brief, Focal Counselling.

In brief counselling, the client and I agree a set number of sessions (anything between four or twelve) and we agree a specific focus for the work (i.e. one specific element in the client’s life). The focus must be reasonable to work with within the time constraints.  We then meet weekly focussing in on the agreed topic until the number of sessions is complete.

It is not usual for the number of sessions to be altered once we have begun – although there are always exceptions which we can talk about during the therapy.

One benefit of short-term counselling is that the number of sessions and the focus is agreed upon at the very beginning … even though it can be tough work focussing upon a problem and even six sessions can fly by very quickly.

One disadvantage of short-term counselling is that it doesn’t afford any time to work upon matters that are related (or very close to) the focus in any depth.

Short-term counselling is not suitable for every situation and, ethically, if I think that such work is not suitable for a client I will discuss it with the client before offering such a counselling contract.

Open Ended Counselling.

In open ended counselling, the client and I meet weekly for enough sessions to address the focus sufficiently -  allowing the therapy to develop in its own time.  Both client and I keep an eye on what we discussed in the first session (the assessment) as this will be the main focus of the beginning portions of the therapy … although longer-term therapy allows other matters and other matters of focus to find a voice.  At some point (sometimes several points) during the therapy either the client, or I, or both of us will begin to talk about if our counselling work has been completed sufficiently to warrant discussing and/or setting an end date (or a set number of sessions in which to complete and say goodbye).

As an ethical therapist, I would not let open ended counselling continue in an unlimited, forever, manner.  And having an unspecified number of sessions can be a valuable container for the client as he/she addresses his/her concerns and makes changes to his/her life before we both agree that the focus of the counselling work has been addressed and worked through – and now the work should come to an end.

Taking this approach allows a person to work through matters in their own time, in the safe container of the weekly counselling session. It has been a preferable choice for many of my clients.

Are you looking for assistance with transforming problems in your life, or are you looking for someone to tell you what to do?

If the former, then counselling may be a helpful option for you. 

If the latter, then maybe counselling is not the solution for you.

Counselling is a form of therapeutic partnership, where you and a counsellor discuss matters that are effecting you.  Thinking of it as a form of consultation, both you and the counsellor conversationally attempt to understand the problems you face – a little like having a different perspective shared with you.  Sometimes the counsellor might help you look into your past for examples on where the current problems first started.  Sometimes the counsellor might help you look to the future to help you ponder about solutions that might help you.  Sometimes the counsellor may sit and metaphorically join you in the current problems just so that you don’t need to feel alone in them.

An aim is to bring understanding to you so that you can feel less burdened by the problems, and to support you in you making your own choices about what might help change things for you for the better.

Is counselling right for you?

As a gay male, I wanted to talk about my civil partnership in private. It helped to put some matters from the past to rest.

Contact Dean Richardson

Private Individual Counselling for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

Dean Richardson MBACP (Accred), UKRCP Reg – LGBT Specialist – Hampshire & Skype.

What if a single idea could transform your life?

LGBT individuals counselling is ideal for any Hampshire (or Skype)  individual gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning person.  It’s for when you want to deal with issues like anxiety, depression, phobias, confidence, work issues, relationship problems, “coming-out” (or not), being unsure of your sexuality, and many more issues. like that.

Whilst it’s true that any gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or questioning individual could form a good working relationship with any counsellor, LGBT individuals sometimes seek a therapist who identifies themselves as a member of their own LGBT community. Dean Richardson is a therapist who focuses on the needs of LGBT clients in therapy working with the particular needs of LGBT individual clients.

Dean Richardson – is your choice for Specialist LGBT Counselling in Hampshire (Portsmouth) and on Skype video.

Why choose Dean for Individual Counselling?

How LGBT Individual Counselling can help.

When you have issues on your mind, and you either cannot talk with friends or family – or friends and family are unable to help sufficiently – private counselling helps.  Whilst most counsellors will see LGBT clients, Dean Richardson is an LGBT Therapist – spot the difference?

Sometimes a family member of friend will ask “… but why are you feeling like this” as if knowing the answering will help you fix the problem.  To a professional LGBT therapist you don’t have to explain yourself.

We all usually have someone we can talk to about our problems in life.  But sometimes we want to speak to someone who is going to help us work through the more difficult things. Counselling can help you work through problems in your life and to help you resolve them for good.

Taking up private counselling means that you don’t need to be referred to a counsellor by the NHS or your GP.  You won’t have to go on a waiting list and you are not limited to a strict maximum number of six sessions.  Neither are you restricted to one particular form of counselling – which may or may not help you – the choice being made on your behalf by what’s available on the NHS . By going private your GP will not be informed of your counselling – it remains totally confidential.

LGBT counselling can be supportive in many ways:-

Some people come into counselling not knowing why – perhaps a friend has suggested it – and we can talk about that too.

Sometimes just knowing that someone is on your side helps too.

What’s Involved with LGBT Individuals’ Counselling?

We initially meet to discuss your needs from counselling … and to have a think about what counselling might help you.  This is called the “assessment” session.

Then we’ll talk.

You will usually lead the sessions (the counsellor will help at the beginning of the work).  Whatever you want to talk about is OK.  The counsellor will listen, be inquisitive and curious to help understand aspects of the problems that, perhaps, you had not considered before.  The counsellor may sometimes offer thoughts and interpretations about what might be happening for you … giving you another perspective that is intended to help you understand the issues.  Sometimes, looking forward into the future will be discussed; how will things be when the issues are resolved and put away.  Sometimes the therapist will work with your emotions, sometimes the therapist will work with your patterns of thinking.  All of this is aimed to help you find your own ways that work for you in putting the problems to bed, leaving you unburned/less burned than when you came to therapy.

All sessions are fifty minutes, are held weekly on the same day and time and same location.

Responsibilities within Individual’s Counselling.

What LGBT Individual Counselling isn’t suitable for.

Skype Counselling.

Skype logo © Skype

Individuals looking to work particularly with Dean, but who live too far away to travel weekly to Portsmouth, may find Dean’s Skype Personal Counselling Service useful (read more…)

• When questions of your sexuality are not important, LGBT counselling won’t apply to you.
• Counselling is not an advice service. The therapist cannot give you solutions based upon his own experience or judgement.
• The therapist cannot take action on your behalf (eg writing to a government agency, or writing a complaint to a company on your behalf).
• Counselling isn’t a social meeting – although it can appear as though it is a social relationship.
• Counselling is not held anywhere public (eg a cafe, library).  Some therapists will offer home-visits.
• Individual counselling cannot help change a third party.  Sometimes people wish to come and talk about their problems with another person, sometimes wanting solutions for that other person to be changed.  The only person we can work to change in individual therapy is you.

What do to next…

If you are interested in potentially receiving LGBT individuals’ counselling, contact Dean Richardson to make an appointment for an assessment.

Couple Relationship Counselling is about working in therapy with conflicts in a couple’s relationship.  The couple can be married, in a civil-partnership, being romantically involved or just simply colleagues who have a relationship (business or personal) that has developed conflicts (read more…).

Closing States of Couple Counselling.

There are two states for the end of couple counselling: resolved and unresolved.

Both of these states can be worked with during an ending to couple counselling. Although resolved might appear to be a better state, it depends upon what the couple want as it’s their relationship (and always has been even with therapeutic intervention).

When a couple decide to end counselling, working toward an ending is an appropriate choice (rather than simply stopping counselling without notice).

Topics for Closing Sessions.

In the final sessions it can be helpful to discuss the following:

Number of Sessions.

The number of sessions to bring couple counselling to a close will be decided in a discussion with the couple.  It’s preferable that an ending to counselling is brought about once the presenting issues have been worked through – so the ending is a case of how many sessions would be required to discuss sufficiently the closing sessions topics.

This, plus any outstanding matters the couple wish to talk about.

Ending Counselling without Final Sessions.

Leaving counselling without such an ending as discussed above can be unhelpful to the couple’s relationship.  Unresolved conflicts can continue in the relationship – assuming that the relationship continues.

Sometimes the couple decide they wish to separate and they leave the relationship (couple counselling can also be used to help a couple to separate) and when the couple no longer maintains the relationship, the counsellor’s “client” (the relationship) can no longer be brought to counselling.  Other types of endings can then be discussed.

So, working towards an ending in couple counselling are an important part of the counselling process.  whether the couple involve the counsellor in the ending or not.

Many of you will have seen the latest iPhone 4S advertisements.  People speak into the phone, and Siri makes an intelligent-sounding reply.  Siri can also amend your calendar, make a call, and send messages on your behalf.  Siri is very helpful – but I suspect that as a couple counsellor Siri would not have the appropriate skills to help a couple in conflict…

Just for clarification – this is humour – but whilst the couple is played by actors, and the situation is meant as comedy, many couples may hear a tinge of reality in the argument.  Take heart – this is meant as being light-hearted – but if you and your partner are in a conflicting relationship and you both would like some serious help, contact Dean Richardson for assistance.

It’s untrue that counsellors, psychotherapist and psychiatrist can read into your very soul!  At the same time, it’s particularly true that many experienced counsellors do gain the experience of being able to understand where a new client is coming from during the client’s story.  Counsellors call it empathy, and the more ethical ones of us counsellors use it to try and help you understand yourself. But, this isn’t going to be an article on how kind and amazingly helpful we, as therapists, are! 

Because of recent reports of counsellor/client imbalance (who knows – maybe it’s always been so) I’d like to give you three tips that may help you face your new therapist for the first time.  I’d like you to feel a little more empowered than you may normally do.  Introducing my A, B, C of working with a new Counsellor.

A is for Authenticity

A is for Authenticity.

During the first meeting with a counsellor, you’ll probably be asked a series of questions.  This isn’t always true, though.  Some therapists pride themselves in being able to work therapeutically without asking any questions at all. Amazing (even frustrating) as thatm ight be, we’ll save that discussion for another time.

So – “A” is for authenticity – meaning: be true as yourself to yourself as you can be in any of your replies to the counsellor.  The counsellor isn’t trying to trap you or catch you out.  The therapist is trying to learn about you and your story, primarily so that the therapist can judge if they are the right person to be working with you.  If you don’t know an answer, say so.  If you’d rather not answer a question, you can say you’d prefer not to answer that.  The counsellor may be curious (and hopefully respectful of your reply too) and may ask you to say a little more.  Again, if you’d prefer not to go into a subject area you can decline to do so.

An assessment should be a mutual one – you’re assessing the therapist too. Being authentic means that you will get a better experience from a counsellor who is, too, trying to be as authentic with you as possible.

B is for Behaviour

B is for Behaviour.

Don’t change your usual behaviour.  Or, if for reasons of social niceties you feel you do have to change your behaviour, share with the counsellor your change in behaviour and try to describe how you might normally behave.

Socially, we humans can have a whole series of different behaviours that we bring out depending on what situation we’re in.  Sometimes we’re the life of the party.  Sometimes we’re the businessman that invites new business orders.  Sometimes we’re the dad picking up his kid from school surrounded by female-conversation we feel awkward to join in with. But meeting with a counsellor is about you, the inner person, and behaving just as your true, authentic self is best.

If your behaviour is effecting your life, and it’s something you want to change as part of the therapy, then it’s useful to discuss this with your counsellor too – your counsellor may need to learn about those behaviours … and you’re the tutor

C is for Challenging the Counsellor

C is for Challenging the Counsellor.

You’re meeting with a counsellor, presumably, to find to help.  If the counsellor is asking questions that make you uncomfortable, or the counsellor says something that disturbs you, challenge the counsellor.  You don’t have to feel that you must comply with the counsellor because you’re feeling forced to do so.  If you’re not receiving help, you have the right to point this out.

Challenging doesn’t have to be confrontational or impolite.  It can be a simple way to show that you don’t agree with the counsellor, or that you would like the counsellor to be somewhat more clear about what he or she has just said.  if we remember that counselling is a partnership there are a vast number of studies that it is the relationship between counsellor and client that makes the difference – not what the counsellor does to you. 

So, if you feel uncomfortable about what’s been said to you, challenge the counsellor to explain more.

Addressing Client/Counsellor Imbalance.

This article has had a hidden agenda – it’s been about addressing a reported-increase in the imbalanced between the some counsellor/client relationships.

At the present time, Increased Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) at the NHS has introduced an increase of newly trained CBT counsellors.  Whilst this is a good thing, unfortunately the practice of IAPT low-level CBT intervention offered by newly-qualified IAPT therapists has, somehow, embraced the medical approach to therapy.  Doctors practice the role:  “there’s something wrong with you, and I have to cure you.”  This is leading to an unfortunate counselling-practice of “I am the counsellor, so I have to cure you.”

Studies show that counselling and psychological therapies are effective because of the relationship between the therapist and client.  The effectiveness is not because of being given instructions-to-follow in order to be cured by the counsellor.

This is not an attack on CBT.  This therapist incorporates CBT in his private practice.  I incorporate CBT from a position of collaboration and empathy between myself and my client – we’re in this shit together.  In my professional opinion, the client experiencing a newly qualified therapist’s sometimes-dominant instruction is counter-productive.  You cannot be cured of anything by being told what to do (except, perhaps, allowing for a sadistic/masochistic relationship being played out between the counsellor and client – a discussion for another articl).

This article offers you, the client, the very legitimate and very real approach that you’re a fellow in the therapy. You are not a subordinate, and I hope you won’t feel like you are when you next go to meet with a new counsellor.

A, B, C and meet your counsellor with the expectation of equality & collaboration.

Enjoy your first meeting with your new counsellor!

Different therapists charge different rates for different forms of counselling, psychotherapy and other therapies.

Dean Richardson has broken down his fee structure so that you only pay for the counselling/psychotherapy service you need.

All fees have two parts: a standard fee (what the general member of public will be invited to pay) and a sliding scale (what a person with limited income can be invited to consider paying).