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Couples Counselling.
Couples counselling can help with:-
- Sexual difficulties,
- Communication / misunderstandings / assumptions / accusations,
- Affairs,
- Heading towards a relationship breakup,
- Present life events (eg children – including first babies & teenagers, retirement, job loss/change),
- Medical diagnoses (eg HIV+, sexually transmitted infections, cancer etc).
- Impact of employment/unemployment,
- Ageing parents,
- Domestic abuse / violence,
- Separation/divorce,
- Step families & step children,
- Impact of childhood events,
- Illness,
- Bereavement
What’s on offer from the couples counsellor?
Considering couples counsellors who are systemically & psychodynamically trained, the couples counsellor does not attempt to “fix” the relationship for you nor offer instructions, that if the couple follow, will find that their problems go away. This realisation can (initially) be a big disappointment for a couple who feel that they have exhausted all possibilities themselves and who are seeking professional help to “cure” them.
However, the couples counsellor does take on a role of being curious towards the relationship, learning about how the relationship came together, each partner’s individual history, the history of the relationship, asking about how things work in the relationship, challenging assumptions made by partners about the other partner, asking questions that address the functioning of the relationship and making (and encouraging from the couple) tentative hypotheses about how the relationship has come to function in the way that it does (the relationship’s “system”).
The intention of learning about the relationship system is to be able to challenge some of the couple’s perspective about their relationship, affording the couple newer opportunities to make alterations for themselves and helping them to communicate more successfully than previously. By peturbing the relationship system, the couple are afforded newer ways of looking at things and can help them to choose what they would like to change having gained such new knowledge.
All of this counselling work takes place in a safe(r) environment (the counselling room) away from your home (although you can set yourself homework too, with the counsellor’s help, if you wish). The counsellor is always present during the session. Sessions are weekly and last for 50 minutes.
Checking if the couples counsellor is right for you (both).
It is good practice to check a couple’s counsellor’s professional qualifications and what professional body(ies) the therapist is a member of (see “Finding and Evaluating a Counsellor”). You may also want to experience the counsellor’s style for a session or two, because all counsellors who are trained in a particular model of counselling do not all implement their practice in quite the same way. A good counsellor will meet with the couple for an assessment – to discover the presenting issues, to discuss what the focus of the counselling work should be, and for everyone to determine if entering into couples counselling is right for everyone at this time.
Coming to counselling together … or …
Couples counselling works by offering counselling towards the couple’s relationship, as opposed to offering counselling to two individuals. Therefore, it’s advisable to come to counselling together. If that is not possible, you might still seek a counsellor who would work with you both separately, or consider individual counselling to help you personally with your relationship problems.
Make an Appointment for Couples Counselling.
Send me a message to make an appointment or an enquiry for Couples Counselling.
Related Reading:
Loving Yourself, Loving Another: The Importance of Self-esteem for Successful Relationships (Relate Guides)This text reveals how a lack of self-esteem can profoundly affect an individual's close relationships. Comprising exercises, advice, and self-awareness puzzles, this guide is designed to help the reader improve their emotional well-being.
Civil Partnership: A Guide to the Perfect DayIn 2005, the Civil Partnership Act was ratified and same-sex couples were allowed to arrange Civil Partnership ceremonies. This book offers informatio... Read More >
