(c) a_kep (Flickr)

This section discusses common questions asked about counselling. Please use the comments section (below) to ask a question that is not answered here – or contact me directly.

How do I know that counselling will benefit me?

By using a survey called CORE-OM, counselling can be demonstrated to benefit a majority of people. My own CORE-OM statistics show that every client who has chosen to take the CORE-OM survey has benefited from counselling.

This data suggests that counselling could benefit you too, although meeting with your counsellor for a proper assessment session is always a wise & necessary procedure to make sure that counselling is a suitable treatment for you.

However, we cannot know if counselling will benefit you, and so an ethical counsellor will be paying attention to the counselling work, and discussing in his/her supervision, if the counsellor has concerns that the therapy work seems not to be helping you … and discussing this with you if it is felt it would be helpful to do so.  It’s not in the counsellor’s client’s interest to keep a client attending therapy that is not being beneficial.  Plus, as the client, you too can discuss with your counsellor any concerns that you’re having at any time.

Read more about my CORE-OM Statistics…

How do I find and evaluate a counsellor?

See my separate post on this topic.

How do I start counselling?

1. Make contact with me to arrange an appointment for an assessment.
2. Following the assessment, we will both be in a position to discuss if counselling could be beneficial for you.
3. If we proceed into counselling we will arrange a weekly appointment (usually same day, same time, same location each week).
4. If we decide not to proceed into counselling I can either make a referral for you to a colleague, or you are free to find your own counselling.
5. If we proceed into counselling, we will continue to meet together either until a fixed number of sessions is up, or until the issues you came into counselling for are worked through sufficiently for you to feel that counselling can come to an end.

See individual assessments &/or couple assessments.

Is Couples Counselling different from Individuals Counselling?

Counselling for couples is similar to individuals, but with some obvious (and not so obvious) differences.

Primarily, in couple counselling my “client” is the couple’s relationship - I am not working with two individual peoples’ seperate problems. I assist the couple in finding their own solutions to their relationship issue. I work systemically and psychodynamically, meaning that I help the couple to peturb their relationship system sufficiently to gain new information that helps the couple take different approaches to their relationship problems, and I use some of their history to help them understand what each person may be bringing to the table that is helping and hindering the couple’s relationship.

Individual counselling my client is the individual him/herself.  I work psychodynamically with individuals, helping them gain insight into their problem and assisting them in working through the issues to a more satisfactory state.

Which counselling to choose?

An individual coming to counselling for her/her own issues is suitable for an assessment for individual counselling.

A couple coming to counselling for issues with their relationship are suitable for an assessment for couples counselling.

An individual coming to counselling to try and change relationship problems is likely better coming to counselling with her/her partner to work in couples counselling together.

A couple coming to counselling in the hope that one individual is going to be changed sufficiently to suit the other partner is possible unsuitable for couples counselling.

See also Couple Counselling & Individual Counselling.

What can I talk about in counselling?

Advice for Clients.
Read: “How to get the best out of your therapist”
(c) BACP – 2010

You can talk about anything that you think you need assistance with. I have written a separate page for this topic – click here to read.

There are some matters that would come under the law – for example if you wished to talk about your part in terrorism, intended harm to self or others, or criminal activity, then I would be obligated to break confidentiality in serious matters such as these. I will always advise you beforehand about confidentiality, and advise you before I take these matters elsewhere.

How long does a session last?

Counselling sessions with Dean last for 50 minutes. The time is there for you to do with what you need. Because every client’s time is reserved exclusively for them, if you arrive late the time cannot be made up later (eg adding an extra 10 minutes onto the end of the session). Similarly, if you arrive early the session will still begin at your appointment time.

How often do I need to come for counselling?

You will come once a week (on the same day, same time & same location) and attend one fifty minute session.

We will meet as many times as either we have initially agreed up front (eg brief counselling) or until we feel that the work has been done.

What is an assessment?

This is where you and I meet for a session (sometimes more, as required) and discuss what you need from counselling. I may also offer you a CORE survey (which is a questionnaire that helps us identify how things have been for you during the past week). I will offer you a number of tentative thoughts about what I hear from you, and maybe offer an interpretation or two based on how I might understand how matters link together. This is all part of seeing if we can work together.

This is a mutual assessment – you are seeing if you can work we me too.

If I have any concerns then I will discuss these openly with you – and you are welcome to discuss any concerns with me too.

Read more about:-

individual assessments &

couple assessments.

Do I have to pass (or fail?) a test to be allowed counselling?

No.

Unlike some newer IPT services in the NHS, where you only get to the next level of therapy by first being unsuccessful with the previous level of therapy, with me I don’t offer one level of therapy first, followed by other levels later. What you receive from me is my full service from the beginning (although, of course, I will always take matters at a pace that works for you).

Do I need to get my doctor to refer me to you?

No – I am a fully qualified and experienced counsellor/psychotherapist supervised according to BACP recommended standards. I am able to make my own judgements on suitability for counselling, can discuss matters with you directly, and you can make an appointment with me independently of your doctor.

Will you inform my doctor?

I will not inform your doctor that you are receiving therapy from me (unless, of course, you wish me to do so) as my service is confidential and independent of primary care services.

How do I decide between brief or open ended counselling?

When we have our assessment together, I will be paying attention to the problems that you are bringing, seeing how you respond to what I say, and considering if brief of open ended counselling would suit you best. Later in the session I will discuss with you what I think and ask you for your opinion. If we disagree with each other we can talk about this too.

Brief counselling: a set number of sessions, negotiated, usually six or twelve.

Open ended counselling: unlimited number of sessions, but working towards an agreed goal or improved emotional state.

Sometimes, we can also begin counselling in a form of a trial: which is open-ended counselling but starting with four or five sessions. Then we can discuss if we both think counselling is benefiting you after these sessions. If not, we can agree how and when we would like to end the trail.

What happens in a session?

After counselling has been going on for several sessions to establish itself, I usually greet you in reception, accompany you to the counselling room and then wait quietly whilst you consider what it is you want to talk about (you will lead the session).

Read more…

Do you have a particular style of counselling?

I am qualified in psychodynamic counselling for individual work, and am a qualified systemic & psychodynamic counsellor for couples. With careful consideration, I may also incorporate other therapeutic techniques that I believe may be useful to you, provided that I have had previous training and experience in these matters. I do not practice therapy models for which I have received no training nor experience.

Read more about psychodynamic and systemic models…

Are you a Christian Counsellor?

Christian counsellors (http://www.acc-uk.org/) are a form of support that follows religious beliefs at their core.  The following description is quoted from http://www.walking-wounded.net/html/christian_counselling.html :-

[the] approach is a Christian one, that is that Christian beliefs about human suffering and its causes – for example the role of sin in causing suffering, and the need for the presence of forgiveness in people in order for them to be spiritually (and also emotionally) free, is taken fully into account.

My form of therapy respects all form of religious and secular beliefs but is not based upon them.

How does counselling come to an end?

If we have agreed on brief counselling, then both you and I know when the sessions will end.

Open ended counselling is a little different, and more flexible. Usually, you or I or sometimes both of us will begin to notice that the reasons you came to counselling are no longer so prevalent. It is around that time that we can begin talking about if counselling has done its job, and if we are ready to begin an ending process. When we both agree that counselling can end, we will agree how we would like to end. For example: we might agree to end counselling in six sessions time, using those sessions to review where we’ve been, what it’s been like in counselling, and what it will be like to no longer come to counselling in the future. Then we end after the last session is complete.

What if I don’t like my counsellor?

Some clients find it very difficult to tell their counsellor what they do not like. Whether it something about the person themselves, their style, something they said in a previous session and so on.

All counsellors intend to be as open as they can to their clients, and thus we would very much like to hear when you are not very happy about something. Afterall, although this “something” might be happening between you and the counsellor, it might also be an example of something that, if we were able to work through together, might benefit you in your every day life.

And sometimes clashes cannot be resolved – no matter what good intentions both client and counsellor would like to have.

Sometimes a client simply stops coming to counselling, leaving no word why this is. Sometimes a client is able to find the courage to bring up what is bothering them with the counsellor themselves. Sometimes, moving to another counsellor is an option.

As your counsellor, I try to be attune to your needs, and as a human being sometimes I might be mistaken or I might miss something that is important to you. If I spot that something seems amiss, I will try and bring both our attentions to the matter (delicately, of course, because I might be mistaken in what I thought I spotted). Discussing with me what is bothering you about me can be helpful to us both.

Will what I say be told to anyone else?

Confidentiality.

I practice confidentiality. This means that you can speak with me knowing that your friends, your family, your work colleagues and so on will not get to learn what you have said in a counselling session.

I abide by and adhere to the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapy’s Ethical Framework.

As a BACP accredited therapist I am supervised to a minimum of 90 minutes per month. This is where I meet with a qualified counselling supervisor to discuss my practice and my case load. I will, from time to time and with your permission, discuss your case with my supervisor – but I will have first made sure that my supervisor does not know you, or is likely to come in contact with you (say, for example, though the workplace) and I will refer to you only by your first name (or another name if you prefer). If I cannot assure your confidentiality in this manner – for example if my supervisor knows you in the work place or socially – then I will seek supervision from another supervisor for your particular case.

Confidentiality will be broken if you disclose intent of harming yourself or others (including children) or if you disclose intent of committing a serious criminal offence. I intend to inform you of my intent to break confidentiality with you before I do so.

See also Ethical Framework.

What if I miss a session?

Missed sessions happen from time to time. Please try and let me know as soon as know that you are not going to be able to attend a future session. If you miss a session without notice, I will still be available for you at the same time and same day the following week (excluding any vacation or planned absences that either you or I have discussed).

The session fee is still payable if you cancel the session within two business-days ahead of the appointment time, if you do not attend your session without having given any prior notice of your absence.

What if I want to change our arrangements?

From time to time changes may come up. Please discuss these with me.

For example, the appointment time may become difficult or you may have heard of a treatment that you would like to try. All of these matters are worth having a conversation about because sometimes what seems to be an obvious resolution (eg changing the appointment time) can look quite different having discussed what’s going on around the potential change.

I need some paperwork completing by you.

Confidentiality is vital to this work – even when, sometimes, it’s not recognised that discussing the contents of the session outside of therapeutic containment would break this confidentiality. Therefore, I operate with some boundaries in this matter:

• Solicitors letter – I will make a charge for this. I will state you are in counselling but I will not reveal the contents of our work. I may also seek advice before agreeing to write a letter.
• Attendance forms (e.g. student placement) – I will co-sign a form that you have completed showing that you have attended counselling, but I will not reveal the contents of our work.
• Attendance forms that I am required to complete on your behalf – I will make a charge for this also.
• Most other letters that you ask of me will require a discussion, as I will not break confidentiality by discussing your counselling.

How much does private counselling cost?

See my Fees page for a description about my standard fees and sliding scale.

Could I see an example of a counselling session?

Counselling, of course, is confidential and therefore I will not demonstrate a real session with a real client.

However, as part of a university project with Pete Allen-Worth I took part in a recording of a role-played counselling session – click to see the video.

If I wished to raise a complaint.

Firstly, please try to discuss your complaint with me first. We will try to address your concerns and put things right.

However, if we cannot attend to your complaint together you are welcome to take your complaint to my professional body – the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy.  This will be make your complaint formal and the BACP have procedures in place to handle formal complaints.

See also BACP’s Making a Complaint page.

British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy,
BACP House,
15 St John’s Business Park,
Lutterworth,
LE17 4HB.

Tel: 01455 883300,
Fax: 01455 550243,
Minicom: 01455 550307,
Text: 01455 560606

http://www.bacp.co.uk/

I have another question?

Please use the comments section, below, to ask your question – or contact me directly.

Related Reading:

Counselling Couples in Relationships: Introduction to the Relate Approach (Wiley Series in Brief Therapy & Counselling)RELATE is the largest couple-counselling agency in the UK, offering over 300,000 hours of counselling each year. This book presents the theories and practices which make up the RELATE approach. In addition to the material on couple counselling, the psychology of couples' relationships is explored.

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Civil Partnership Bill. Fifteenth Report of Session 2003-04. Report,Together with Formal Minutes and Appendix 2003-04: House of Lords Papers 2003-04 136 House of Commons Papers 2003-04 885

Psychodynamic Counselling with Children and Young People: An Introduction (Basic Texts in Counselling and Psychotherapy)